When Heroes Fall: S1
by Pokiepup
Summary: RETELLING IN POV - 2018 Takes place about 3 months after 2x22. New Ash, New Fae, New Drama, with greater challanges then ever before. 1st Part in a series.
1. AN

**AN:**

Hello Fae-fam,

I've been gone for a bit, life has a way of getting in the way. As my first original work is in it's final stages of editing I have had the bug to write and return to the wonderful world of Lost Girl. I began updating Devil in the Detail and I couldn't help but find myself back at my 'baby'. While the series doesn't resonate with everyone it was what started my LG FF days. I loved doing Darkness Within and RotF as many fans of the series seemed to enjoy the POV and highly expanded aspects of the stories. So that brings us here, back to my very first story/first in the series. I'm well aware its not for everyone as many people has wander away from LG FF. But this is my pet project, and I wish to share it. Now if anyone is/wanting to read(ing) I would appreciate just quick review to let me know in the beginning though reviews are always welcome lol Otherwise ill just keep as my own side project off the site.

Thank you all as always.

Pokie.

 **Reminder** : This was originally written back at the end of S2 of the original show, many people did not know that who read DW & RotF which is why there are quite a few differences.


	2. C1: Anything

**CHAPTER ONE: Anything**

 **.**

 **(** **LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

There is no hope more sorrowful than freedom and freedom is but an illusion.

Fingertips idly brush over my knuckles, breath held as I try to keep everything at bay. I've never been nervous by nature, a fortunate mixture of nature and nurture. Even during the rare occurrences in which I found myself nervous, I've been self-aware enough to prevent anyone else from noticing.

This is different.

Everything is always different when it comes to her.

"Please." I can hear the tremble in my voice seemingly echo off of the bare walls of a near empty room. I can feel that same tremble ripping through my entire body as a wildfire would through a drought plagued forest.

Relentless breeze once again parts the drapery keeping a chill in the air. It's enough that almost anyone would believe it was the cause of my tremble, the uneven tone of my voice, but the woman sneering at me through the darkness is far from just anyone. So I wait in silence, staring right back into the darkest corner of the room waiting for a reply of any kind.

Truly I had no expectations of what response would await me, but now I find myself baffled. I could have understood a chuckle or a laugh. I could have understood a snort or scoff. I could have even understood a joke or two at my expense, but silence is truly unexpected. "I beg of you." Drawing a deep breath, remembering I actually need to breathe. "Bo has run off, in search of Syra."

The howling of the wind my only response.

"Please, she has no idea what is going to come up against. No idea of the power that Syra wields."

"And that would concern me why?" The gentle, silky nature of her voice doing an adequate job of hiding the cruelness in her words.

"She could die." Breath caught in my throat as my heart aches. "She will die."

"Ysabeau has yet to swear fealty to us or even the Dark. Indecision has its consequence."

"She-."

"She is not my responsibility Doctor Lewis." Her tone raises ever so slightly, skillful not to yell yet still enough to let me know her mind has been made. "Both Isaac and Lachlan made the mistake of playing her game. Something which gave her the advantage at every turn. We see now where that got them."

"I understand."

"Doctor Lewis, for over six years now you have served as a great asset to not only my species but my brotherhood. Your debt has been fulfilled, twice now. Which means sadly that you are no longer an ally of the Light-or Dark. In fact you are no longer anything more than another human pet to the extremely indecisive succubus. In fact you should consider yourself lucky I even agreed to allow you to inconvenience me with silly matter."

"Yes, of course." My eyes fall to the floor, where I imagine her shoes are. Left hand tightly wrapped over the right. Its subtle enough she doesn't notice, or doesn't care. I've learned the lesson all too well how clenched fists can be taken as a sign of aggression.

"It was only out of respect of over six years of unwavering service that I felt that you deserved one favor, considering just how much you've lost in those years."

"Th—thank you." I manage to force out, my overwhelming fear for Bo's safety doing wonders to mask the distain in my voice for the woman in front of me.

"You're excused." She simply dismisses me in a matter of two words. Even though still hidden in the shadows I can see the faint glimpse of her hand moving through the air, as if her words weren't enough.

I'm all too aware I've been dismissed just as a child would be, but I can't seem to move—or breathe. Every ounce of fear I had been managing to keep at bay for the past hour beginning to spill over. Fear turning to terror. Nervousness turning to panic. Pain turning into sorrow. Lingering traces of hope vanishing turning hope into a meaningless word.

Images of us…of her rushing to the forefront of my mind. Images after image of the few stolen moments we have together. Images of every smile I've ever earned, every glance I've ever managed to steal and every touch she's allowed. But with every one of those blissful moments comes all the ones where I've failed her. Just as I had done earlier tonight.

Just as I am doing now.

"Have you forgotten where the door is Doctor?" she says through a smirk that I can't see, but I can hear it. A sickening mixture of pain and anger twisting in the pit of my stomach at her 'subtle' reminder that my welcome has been overstayed.

"S—she may not have chosen a side, but she a fought for the Light time and time again. Put her life on the line, sacrificed everything." the tears that had been threatening to fall since I arrived finally making it passed my defenses. "Does that deserve nothing?"

My only answer once again silence. A hushed laugh to myself…at myself catching in my throat. Stray tears already drying on my cheeks as I nod. Beginning to turn to the door, my defeat more than evident. Hand wrapping around the cool doorknob, momentary hesitation pulling at me as I search for another avenue to take.

"Doctor Lewis." She calls me, stopping me from pulling the door open. "What exactly is little Ysabeau's life worth?"

"Excuse me?" I can't help the way my eyes narrow as my hand falls back to my side. Small steps backward and then to the side as I come to find myself staring back into darkness.

"To you, what is her life worth?"

"Anything."

"Tsk. Tsk." She lets out with a slight chortle. "Careful with such a bold statement Doctor, it could prove to be too much to honor."

"Anything." I find myself repeating, my voice doesn't tremble this time.

"Does that include-your life?" the mockery in her tone more than obvious. My desperation and fear amusing her.

"Yes." I answer without thought, an admission I wasn't fully aware of. "Anything."

* * *

 **.**

 **Oak Creek Woods – 9:45 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"Let her go….." Dyson's growling order to Lauren continuously echoing through my mind. The image of him grabbing her arm and the pain written over her face as she watched me walk away clouding my vision. A six second exchange stuck on a constant loop.

Each replay causing me to push myself just a little harder I'm sure I can push no further. But still I keep pushing. I'm sure I have nothing left but I refuse to stop. Continuing to ignore the pain in my chest along with a building hunger. It's a hunger unlike any I've experienced before, unlike anything I ever thought possible. It's ravenous, ripping through my body as if it was tearing me apart inch by inch. With every bit of growing hunger, every bit further I run beyond the pain I feel myself coming alive. I can feel every little thing to the point it terrifies me. The freezing rain beating down on my skin like a thousand little knifes, each 'cut' felt. The ground beneath my feet is something beyond slippery, I keep finding myself slipping. My boots more of the stylish nature than running or even walking but I can't seem to bring myself to stop.

Honestly I can't even be sure where I'm running to or even after. Syra had vanished moments after leaving the Dal and despite the growing popular belief, I'm not as stupid as I look. I understand far too well that I have absolutely no chance of catching up with her in general. Let alone catching up to her in the middle of the night, during a thunderstorm that has taken out half of the cities' power while my mind is so focused on Lauren I can't see straight. Not even Dyson in full wolf-form with his super speed and tracking abilities would be able to find her if she didn't want to be.

But blinded by pain and anger it seemed like the thing to do-at the time.

I'm painfully aware we aren't together and if I was ever to forget life seems deadest on reminding me of this little fun fact. Along with the even 'funnier' one that she will never belong to me-not completely.

The first little wakeup call being our first night together, the first time I got a glimpse of just how deep the Light's control of her reached. Then of course was the seemingly never-ending blows pertaining to Nadia-that now seemed like a walk in the park—her death excluded. And now the most recent of 'friendly' reminders, tonight.

In a clear mind I could admit that tonight's little fiasco wasn't completely Lauren's fault, not entirely. It had been Trick's idea after all while Kenz and Dyson worked as his little minions to convince me.

But now, in this moment my mind is far from clear so these little facts mean nothing. They do nothing to dull my pain, my hurt, my jealousy, my building anger nor this unexplainable hunger. A continuously evolving hunger that seems to be wreaking havoc not only on my body or train of thought but most importantly-my self-control.

Without warning I find my body slam to a halt, the wind feeling as if it has been knocked out of me but I find myself staring out into nothingness. It takes a moment for my dazed mind to realize the stop came out of pure self-preservation.

As yet another cold breeze cuts through the air I let my eyes wander down the thirty or so foot drop. Powerful waves crashing the earth the earth with this effortless force that I've never noticed before. The sound fills my ears until it's all I can hear, the thumping of my heart no longer ringing in my ears.

I feel something-I can't describe it nor do I have time to try as I find my body fall from the edge. Cold, damp leaves and broken twigs falling of the ledge to scratch my face as my hands claw at the jagged rock I managed to grab a hold of. Suddenly the hypmotizing sound of the wave once comforting anything but. My dangling feet kicking wildly for some support but finding none.

What happened?

Focus Bo, I tell myself as I draw in a deep breath and use every ounce of reserve strength I have left to make an attempt at pulling myself up. As my mind begins to clear I'm no longer this ravenous version of myself but a more familiar me. A me that feels fear and hurts at pain rather than be intrigued by it. A me that isn't hypnotized by waves or the sound of her own heartbeat, no this me hears something out here in the woods. This me knows she isn't alone and isn't exactly excited by the thought of a fight.

Managing to pull myself up to my feet I find myself running again. Running through the darkened woods, branches beating my skin as the rain does. A loud crack of thunder ripping through the sky causing me to tense, my left foot slipping but I don't lose my balance. The ache in my shoulder begging for attention I can't give it—not now. I can feel blood running down my back though which tells me it's going to need it as well as my hands and the cut along my temple.

With every acknowledgement of a wound I find myself feeling them just a little bit more, a tired body begging me to stop but I can't. There's something here. Something threw me from the ledge. Something was following me closely-effortlessly.

As if this creature-beast-whatever it is can read my mind a feral snarl fills my ears. It's not animal-at least not the normal kind. The snarl carries, bounces off the trees almost as if surrounding me-engulfing me.

Don't look Bo…..It's not close….It can't be close…..

It comes again almost as if mocking me and I so desperately want to turn around, look over my shoulder. Just measure the time I had left to prepare.

Again I find myself halting, the ground coming to an end once more. Where had I gotten myself lost in? Looking down it was at least a seventy foot drop, far greater than the first. Another snarl comes, this time much louder. A burst of adrenaline spreading through me at the sound, at the feel of this 'presence' growing closer. Too close.

Instinctively I throw myself over the edge and pray it was the right choice. It feels like I'm falling for hours but when I hit the water I can't help but be anything other than thankful. My arms flailing in the air as I desperately try to keep myself afloat while navigating through the thick mist covering the river.

The waves are strong thought and the down poor of rain are too strong—the harder I fight the quicker I find myself sinking until I'm not fighting anymore. I feel myself being carried by the waves.

It's a strange feeling giving up.

* * *

.

 **The Compound – 9:48 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

.

"I desire your life."

"I'm—the Light Fae don't particularly trade lives." My voice wavering, every fact I've ever read about the Fae and their customs running through my mind.

The Dark could care less about life, human lives were a joke, but the Light were supposed to be different. Swallowing at the lump in my throat, I nod still failing to remember any custom when a human's life was to be forfeited when they posed no threat nor when they were not property.

"Not literally Doctor Lewis, figuratively. I want from you what every Ash has wanted from you, a life of service. A life of undying devotion and …yada, yada, yada. All that stuff."

"Done."

A sharp ache rips through my chest at the sound of my own voice. An answer without hesitation without thought, but none the less not regretted. Even as the realization of what my choice means begins to set in, there isn't regret…only heartbreak. I promised I would never go back. I promised myself…I promised her.

"Now, now not so quickly. I know this must seem natural to you now. A new Ash comes to town, you get a taste of freedom and them bam, you're taking a knee and pledging your fealty." Her voice begins to grow closer, forcing me to look up from the floor in fear…in curiosity.

She was different than expected, than remembered. She's so much smaller and younger, at least she looks younger. A single strand of burgundy died hair cupping her right cheek, the rest of her jet black hair pulled back into a loose ponytail. Black eyes peering into mine as she folds her arms, hands slightly running up her bare biceps. Her body covered by nothing more than a sheer, black negligee. My eyes instinctively falling down to her bare feet.

"I'm sorry."

"For looking or for waking me?" She chuckles, hand cupping my cheek to bring my face back up. My jaw tensing to keep from flinching. "Do they bother you?"

"I—I'm not sure what you mean."

"My eyes. The lack of color, it intimidates most people." Her hand falls from my face and for a moment she doesn't seem quite so threatening. "Doctor Lewis, I unlike my predecessors am honest and upfront. I want you to understand…"

"I understand. Now please, please help Bo."

"I suggest you listen carefully. I am seven hundred and fifty years old, I do plan to make it to a thousand. I will live passed my predecessors, which means your service will be for the remainder of your life. This agreement is nonnegotiable. I do not become a succu-baby's bodyguard, I save her this once and that is all."

"I understand."

"Now, think about this Doctor Lewis. She may not even be in danger. She may just be off having herself a," She sort of laughs, looking down at the ground momentarily almost as if she was stopping herself on my behalf. "Snack, if you will. If that was the case, all of this would be for nothing. If she doesn't need help, that isn't my concern, it would not void our agreement."

"I understand, please just-." I cut myself off, her four fingers raising slightly off of her bicep silencing me.

"Listen to me. You have given your life twice now, both times under false pretenses. Your poor dead girlfriend was cursed just so that your skills would be utilized. The second time was to have your servitude continued under the promise of helping her, when in reality she had been dead years ago. All this wasted time, all these lies and now you have your freedom. If I were you, I would keep it."

"You are not me." Breath held as I realize I had snapped at her. Her eyes slightly widened, head tilted to the right studying me. "With all due respect."

"She would not do this for you."

"I give you my life. Now please, help her. I will beg you, if it will appease you."

"Hm." She grows closer, eyes running over every inch of my body. Not a single word spoken as she begins to take small steps around me. "You can feel it. Feel there's something wrong." Her words more an answer to her own question than anything. "She fed off of you." Smirking, she takes a step back when she finds herself in front of me once more. "I don't want you to beg, I just want you to surrender."

"You have it."

"Once I do this, you will have twenty-four hours."

"Until?"

"You're mine."

"I'm sorry?"

"Bo will become a distant memory to you. No special doctor visits for control. No more secret dates. No more longing stares from across the room. No more competition with a disobedient wolf. Though I wouldn't worry too much about him, I need to have my own discussion with him."

The sick feeling ripping apart the pit of my stomach suddenly silent as I hear her words. As I realize what I am giving up. As I realize the new depth of servitude I will be entering….willingly. With Nadia it was different, I had already lost everything I had. Now? Now I would be giving up everything. Giving up the promise of everything I could have.

My heart breaks within my chest for the millionth time tonight and I want to ask for a moment. I want to say I need a minute. But the surge of pain in the pit of my stomach almost makes me call out, reminding me there is no time. Her words, ' _You can feel it'_ ringing in my ears, an ominous question posed for another time. I know logically there's no way I could have a connection like that to her, I'm human. Logically I know the pain I've felt has been a mixture of emotional responses and physical responses to such an emotional state.

 _But what if you're wrong?_

The question slithering in between every thought. What if somehow I did have a connection? What if this pain wasn't only mine? What if she was in trouble and I could somehow feel it? Would it be so impossible in a world full of the impossible?

"You see her and you are nothing more than polite. Touching and conversation are forbidden. You will forget that she is in love with you and more importantly you will forget you are in love with her. Do you understand?"

"I do."

"Then I ask once more, what is her life worth to you?"

Without hesitation I let my body collapse to my knees, the pain of little consequence. My hands folded in front of myself as I bow my head, tears hidden behind closed eyelids. Taking a deep breath, I look up to meet her eyes as she stares down at me almost curiously. "Anything."

* * *

 **.**

 **Oak Creek Woods – 9:58 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

The crack of thunder ripping through the sky followed by the sharp pain jolting through my body causes an involuntary reaction. I find myself scrambling back to the surface, the pain jolting me back into reality a rocky surface.

Desperately I claw at the ground once again, legs wildly kicking in the water-so close, I'm too close to give up now. Finally managing to drag myself onto land I feel several new wounds opening up, the rocks and twigs beneath me ripping my skin to shreds, but I don't have enough strength to push myself up. Coughing out a mouthful of water I push myself onto my back and try to breathe.

It must be a solid five minutes before I push myself up to my feet, my legs barely supporting my weight. Leaning forward, hands on my thighs as I try not to collapse. Looking around trying to get an idea of where I am now I find myself yet again in the middle of nowhere.

"Impeccable. Really Brava!" I look up at the low, husky voice that played between annoyed and seductive. "It's been centuries since anyone has come this close to catching up with me." She continues to speak as she comes out from the cover of the trees.

A disgusting taste fill my mouth at the sight of her. Her voice was recognizable but seeing her made it real. She didn't look like your typical monster, but then again how many of us do?

"What can I say?" I snort out in a chuckle as I force myself to stand up straight. "I'm impressive."

"Apparently not all that impressive considering," she trails off as she struts further into view. I hardly know her but I find myself hating her with a passion, even if she never spoke a word I still would. There was just something about her, her way. She reminded me of a feme faetale from those old black and white movies. The way she fixed her long, perfect, black hair to wave in just the right places. The way she wore a tight, low cut red dress and heels with her lips a matching shade. "Two teensy facts." A grin plays at the corner of her lips as she takes several careful but confident steps toward me.

"Teensy?" I can't help but chuckle, jaw clenching at the pain it causes. "Where'd you get your vocab, Blue's Clues?"

"Cute."

"Thanks."

"If you were really as impressive as you seem to think you are then I doubt my little encounter with a certain human would have played out the way it did." Her words trail off again as she brings our distance to only a few feet. Her grin now a full smirk as she watches me fall to my knees. "Also you would have put just a teensy bit of brain power into your actions, realizing the further out you went the harder it would be for them to find you."

My hands press against the ground trying to support myself.

"Both of your human pets-well one yours and one soon to be mine, have absolutely no chance of finding you this far out. They wouldn't even know where to start." She takes two more steps to bring herself in front of me and I want to move away but my body is giving out on me. I try to lean away when she reaches out running her fingertip over the cut on my temple but the closest I get to protest is a whence of pain. "And your dog, well no tracks thanks to the rain. Your repulsive scent covered by the trees, animals and pretty much every other disgusting thing out here."

"Please-."

"Please?" she laughs, fingertips hitting my forehead and pushing it back so I'm looking up at her. "What? Let you live?" she asks mockingly.

"No-please just kill me already. If I have to listen to you much longer I'm gonna have to do it myself and I have a strict no suicide policy."

"I aim to please." She snaps. Words having barely leaving her mouth before I find myself flying through the air. "I promise her death, it will be quick." Just as I find myself slamming into the ground, Syra already has her hand around my throat, lifting me into the air. "Now, what I do to her before death. Well that," I fall to my knees, gasping for breath as she drops me. I try to keep my arms out in front of myself, trying desperately to at least stand. The heel to my ribcage flips me onto my back, a mouthful of blood quickly following. She kneels down beside me, hand grabbing a fistful of hair forcing my head up. Forcing me to look into her cold, dead eyes as she deliver the last of her verbal assault. "Let's just say that stamina has never been an issue for me."

I want to fight, the will is there but my body can no longer withstand its damage. The pain so great I can no longer determine one wound from the next. I gasp for breath and struggle to see what's coming next as my vision blurs.

The last image I see is of her free hand raising, without doubt to deliver the blow that will end my suffering.


	3. C2: Already Done

**CHAPTER TWO: Already Done**

 **.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.

Fingertips pressed against icy glass, staring through my reflection as Harriet Beecher Stowe's quote plagues every millimeter of my mind. It's ironic the things that come to mind at the most inopportune times. I hadn't thought of that quote since I read it in high school and until this very moment Harriet Beecher Stowe's name was insignificant. Now her words are all I can think of, suddenly they're all that matter.

Left hand clenching the long dried wash cloth stained with her blood. I intended to drop it on the dresser or even the floor, an excuse to tear my eyes off of her, but now I can't seem to let it go. The view from her bedroom window far from impressive, but keeps my attention none the less. The pragmatic half of myself attempting to calm the emotional half.

I forgot what it was like to feel this much…to care this much.

Turning my back to the window my eyes find her face hidden beneath cuts and scrapes. She's been hurt worse. I've cleaned her up from worse to be honest, but now as she lays motionless atop of her bed which holds so many memories for us and I've never seen her look more helpless. Until this point, I don't think I've ever thought of her as truly helpless.

If she just woke up she could feed and this would all be over. Every broken bone and tear of her flesh healed instantly. Remaining blood I couldn't wipe away could be taken care of with a good shower. She'd be right as rain in seconds. The only problem is she won't wake. My eyes running over her nearly bare body, lingering on her torso. Silently beginning to count the seconds between each rise and fall of her chest.

The sound of wood creaking beneath Kenzi's shifting weight brings my attention to her. There she remains hovering in the doorway, watching my every movement. At first I found it peculiar she'd watch me over Bo, but as the hours began to pass and my mind clear the realization dawned on me, in her own right she's brilliant. Kenzi doesn't know about Fae or succubi or anything medical related, watching Bo would be pointless, but watching me would let her know everything she needs to.

I wanted to tell her something comforting, but the fact is I can't find the words to comfort myself. My bedside manner having diminished quite a bit in the past few years. She shifts again, yawning as she shakes her head. The truth being my human-side manner has diminished, you don't need bedside manner to be a decent human, you just have to remember how to be one.

Clearing my throat, attempting to clear my head I finally drop the cloth to the floor. What's one more piece added to the clutter? Her boots at the foot of the bed while what's left of her shirt and pants tossed to my left. The remainders of their First Aid kit scattered over the floor along with bloody bandages and an empty bottle of alcohol. Exactly three pairs of discarded gloves covered in her blood. Shears partially hidden underneath a pair.

 _They're going to need to new kit, a real one._

Passing police siren pulls my attention momentarily only to fall wayside when my eyes fall upon a scalpel. I hadn't even known it was there, must have fallen out in the commotion. It's insignificant honestly. I didn't need it then and I don't need it now, but it's all I can focus on.

 _It's not an option Lauren._

Heavy weight crushing my chest as it has at all night quickly becoming unbearable. Slowly my eyes move up the handle to the sharp blade. It looks as though it has never been touched, would cut through flesh as if it were tissue paper. One terrifying thought creeping in after the next. Each fear posing a very real question with an equally real option.

What if she doesn't wake up…what if she dies? Is it still worth it…would it still be worth it? Can I do it again…can I be a slave again?

The real question…can I live without her?

It would take a mere second, I'm more than familiar with where to cut. The pain would be only momentarily. I wouldn't even really know it was happening. Just like life one second here and then next just gone. Kenzi has Dyson and Hale, even Trick. They all have each other, they'd survive…they don't need me. None on really needs me.

Drawing in a deep breath, eyes closing as I let my head hang. It's a horrible thought, but not completely foreign. I've thought about it once or twice before, how easy it would be. I always had the thought of helping Nadia though to pull me back. The thought of fixing my wrong to keep me from ever taking the final step. Though if she was gone, if she doesn't survive this I'd have nothing.

Without her…I wouldn't be missed…right?

"H-hey." A weak whisper jolts my mind from disturbing thoughts. My eyes find hers kept at half mass, the faintest of smiles curving her swollen lips. "What happened?"

"Syra."

"I know that part Doctor Obvious, kinda hard to forget someone who used you for a conga drum."

"Are you okay? You've been out for so long, you need to feed." My questions running into each other as I grow closer to the bed. Her hands moving as she tries to sit, her feet moving as she pushes at the mattress. Her breaks seemingly less severe than I initially presumed, or maybe her natural healing capabilities have developed faster than I anticipated.

"I'm fine. How'd I get away?"

"It's not important. You need-."

"New Ash." Kenzi cuts me off, her answer earning the strangest of looks from Bo as she rests her back against the headboard.

"Why would the…" Her voice dies off, eyes never once leaving mine. "What did you do?"

"Bo, it's -."

"Not important?" Pain in her voice causing me to hold my breath. "What did you do Lauren?"

"What I have always done."

"You went back?" Kenzi asks the obvious, disbelief in her tone but I don't look over my shoulder at her. "Why?"

"Cause she enjoys it Kenz. As big of a game as she talks about wanting to be free she just can't wait to get back to being a lapdog."

"That is incredibly unfair, not to mention cruel."

"What's unfair is the games you play with people. Trick them into bed. Trick them into caring. Trick them into thinking you care about them. Trick them into thinking you have any type of heart. That is what's unfair and cruel."

"You need to feed." My only response through a clenched jaw as she struggles to toss her legs over the edge of the mattress.

"Every day people die for freedom." She manages to push herself up, weak and wobbly steps toward me. "I fight every single day for it but you," Hesitating she reaches out, fingertip running along my collarbone until she finds the chain. Curved index finger sliding underneath the pendant. "Can't wait to give it up."

My eyes filling with tears as I stare into hers. "You know nothing."

"Get out."

"Bo." Kenzi softly protests, more on Bo's behalf than mine but its fine.

"I did what I had to do to protect you. Everything that I've always done since I met you has been about protecting you."

"I said, get out."

I nod, swallowing at the dryness in my throat. Pain within my chest becoming all too unbearable. Two steps backward and two to the left before I turn to face Kenzi who is looking down at the floor. "I'm glad you're going to be okay Bo."

It takes everything within my power not to run, even when I'm out of their sight. The thing is I'm too proud to risk them knowing I ran. The thing is I'm too exhausted to actually run. The thing is I'm too hurt to breathe properly and it's taking every ounce of strength I have left just to keep from collapsing. The thing is that with every passing second it's a struggle just to keep from breaking.

Halfway down the alley I feel my phone vibrate within my pocket.

.

 **Unknown:** Hope it was worth it Doctor Lewis, twelve hours remaining. **(10:02 a.m.)**

 **Unknown:** Enjoy your freedom. **(10:03 a.m.)**

.

Enjoy it?

How funny…how cruel.

I stare at the words, every word and try to remember to breathe. I could run, just run and not look back I've always been good at hiding. They would find me though eventually and what would they do to Bo? Should I care? I could go back upstairs and put Bo in her place and enjoy what little time we have left. Does she care enough?

"Lauren!" Kenzi's breathless call of my name pulls my attention, she jogging down the alley toward me. "Wait."

"Is she okay?"

"Seriously? She kicks you out and your first reaction is still concern?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Look, she didn't mean it. She's just hurt. Our Bo-Bo doesn't handle jealous very well. And well you breaking another promise to her kinda throws a big ol' Fae moneky wreching into the grand scheme of her plans. Give her some time."

"I can't."

"C'mon. You owe her that, after everything."

"No, I physically can't." Sighing, I look up the alley finding the once parked cab now missing. _Just my day._ "Part of the stipulations of my deal. She saves Bo and I go back. Completely. No more Bo or anyone else, only my servitude."

"Pretty steep price."

"She's alive, so it was worth it."

"Lauren, what are you doing?" She actually looks concerned. "Really, what are you doing?"

"It was childish to ever think there was a chance. For freedom. For us." Forcing a smile I look from her back up the alley to find Dyson approaching. "Why would she ever want me when she has her knight in shining armor."

"Lauren."

"Goodbye Kenzi." Nodding more to myself than anything I start back down the alley, stopping just as me and Dyson cross paths. "Congratulations."

* * *

.

 **B/K Apartment – 10:09 a.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

.

It doesn't matter...

…it doesn't matter…

It doesn't matter.

Spitting blood into the sink I try to breathe, not too concerned with if it's the pain in my heart or the pain everywhere else that's making it difficult. Like I keep saying, it doesn't matter. None of it matters. Nothing matters.

"It doesn't matter Bo." I lie to myself, staring myself straight into the eyes. Hands clenching the sink to keep myself up. "She doesn't matter."

She wants to go back to that, let her. She wants to be away from me, let her. She's never really wanted me, it's always been forced. It's just all lies. Yeah, all lies.

I nod, gripping the sink even harder trying to keep on my feet. The movement coming from my room far too heavy to be Kenz or Lauren. _Like she would ever come back._ She can't wait to get away. Nodding to myself, trying to convince myself of the thought I stumble back toward my bedroom. Forced smile all I can manage when I find Dyson waiting for me.

She doesn't mean a thing…

…she doesn't mean a thing…

She means everything.

* * *

.

 **Lauren's Apartment – 4:28 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

.

What do you say when words never seem to be enough?

My eyes running over the blank piece of paper.

Half empty bottle of vodka beside me to keep me company and some country song playing in the background just enough to keep me focused.

…

 **820 Days Ago**

…

"Why don't we all just hang out for a bit?"

Ten words have never been quite so…deflating. I think that would be the word. I think that would sum up what her decision there meant. It was silly and perhaps it meant nothing, maybe it still means nothing, but looking back I think that would have given me my answer. She can't choose…or she can't let him go, one of the two.

"I don't scootch."

"Oh come on your part wolf." Awkward smile, awkward laugh. "I'm sure we can find him a carpet or something."

Even knowing these…even feeling it I still couldn't force myself to walk away.

Why?

"So we've done this before huh? Just the three of us. Like a threesome. Not that I've thought about it that way or anything."

She adorable when she's nervous, truly nervous. I think that's when you really see her, underneath all of the responsibility and defense mechanisms she's perfected. Underneath she's really still so innocent and sweet. Underneath she's probably better than all of us combined. Maybe that's why I do this. Maybe that's why I can't walk away even when I need to.

She's nervous and joking, attempting to lighten the mood…but I'm sure a part of her is serious. I wonder just how much. Would she really want that? Would that make things easier for her…for us? Could he do it? Could I? Would she realize at some point she couldn't, that one of us mean more than the other?

Would it be worth it to finally know one way or another?

…

I manage to write her name atop of the paper only to find myself at a loss once again.

Things like this used to be so easy for me. Words and emotions, I was never particularly good at sharing, but I could articulate myself. Somehow now I can barely manage two words. Maybe I can't find the words because what's been said is all there is to say.

Could it be? Could all we've said, what little we've managed to say…could that have been all there is?

…

 **84 Days Ago**

…

"This is…fun." Bo chuckles, pulling her jacket off. A Prinitx blood dripping off it and her creating a rather putrid odor. Breath held as I take step back, smiling. "You okay?"

"Mm-hm."

"Did you get hurt?" She takes another step forward as I take one backward, she's in full concern mode now. "Lauren are you okay."

"Mm-hm." I nod this time, desperately trying keep holding my breath.

"What's wrong?"

Shaking my head, my hand goes over my nose and mouth. "Nothing."

"Why are you acting so weird?"

"I'm not. We should go."

"And leave the body?" Her eyebrow raises as she looks down at the remaining puddle of the Prinitx. "Just tell me what's the matter?"

"You."

"Me?"

"You sort of," I can't help coughing on a laugh. "The blood is rather-."

"Gross."

"And-."

"Messy."

"And-."

"Smells?" She laughs, folding her arms over her chest. "Are you saying I smell Doctor Lewis?"

"I am saying that what you are currently covered in as of the moment makes you sort of smell. A little bit."

"I see." She stops for a moment looking me over.

"Bo, it's not that," My words trail off as she gets this unusual look and I'm unable to tell what she is thinking. Though to be fair, I hardly ever do. "Bo?"

She takes a single step back and instinctively I take one forward. For a moment there's nothing. She doesn't speak or move, just looks at me and in that moment I forget that I'd rather smell mustard gas than this blood. Then abruptly her lips curve into a smile and she gets this glisten in her eyes. She lets out a laugh as starts to jog after me.

"Bo!" I can't help laugh her name as I attempt to get away. "Stop it."

"Come here! Gimmie a hug!"

…

The sound of my laugh breaking me from my memory. It was such a silly memory, a silly moment in time that doesn't even seem to fit into our lives. Our stolen moments are usually glances and dinners and paperwork, but this one was different.

Smile firmly on my face as I look over at the clock on the stove. _It's almost time._ My eyes shifting from the empty bottle of vodka to the sheet of paper. Tears filling my eyes as I struggle to keep the world at bay.

…

 **36 Days Ago**

…

I find myself frozen, foolishly standing with a melting ice cream cone in hand as I watch her. She's always stealing my attention and I've had my share of interesting musings pertaining to her but this was different. This was very, very different. She leans over the car, sponge in hand as she wipes her car down.

Logical part of my mind posing the interesting question of exactly how long I was inside that she managed to start washing the car…by hand. The far less logical part of my mind which seems to currently be the dominate part focused on the amazing view I have every time she leans over.

 _You're not a teenage boy Lauren, this is ridiculous._

Ridiculousness aside I can't tear my eyes away from her. She's absolutely flawless. Walking around the car she sprays it down and logically I know she isn't moving in slow motion, that's impossible, but in my mind every movement is in fact in slow motion. My eyes taking in absolutely every moment, every inch.

"Hey doc, what do you think about the uh-?" Dyson comes up beside me, and I think I raise my hand up to silence him. Keyword: think. She looks our way and I lose my train of thought. "Should we help her?"

"No. No, it's good for us—I mean her." I nod. "I mean, I think it's therapeutic."

"How many failed missions does this make?" Hale's voice sort of pulls my attention as he comes up behind us.

"Girl really wants that car clean." Dyson's words lost as Hale snaps his fingers, snapping me…us out of our trance.

"Goodbye underfae guts." She says, dropping the hose. "Hey who do we pay for the gas?"

Shaking my head at myself, smirking at the absolute ridiculousness she can drive me too. My eyes still glued to her, tension still in the pit of my stomach. Dyson and Hale begin to speak, but my mind is far off on its own happy tails. Following close behind she hands Hale the keys, saying something about how she's tired of driving.

"My god, I gotta get out of these wet clothes." She says, sliding into the backseat, both me and Dyson moving to get beside her as if we have one mind. The two of us running into each other. My hand holding his knee as I push his leg to the side.

"After you."

Sorry Dyson, you don't get to win every round.

He pushes the seat back playfully aggressively and I let out an "Ow." Hale keeps laughing, maybe at his phone and maybe at us. Bo is completely oblivious to our momentarily friendly competition. Dyson and myself even share a laugh, and in this moment it feels sort of…fun.

In this moment it feels like we are a team, maybe even friends. In this moment it feels like maybe one day Dyson and myself could find a common ground. In this moment sitting beside an unusually giddy Bo, it feels like we're together.

"Are you going to miss it?" Dyson asks after a few minutes.

"Naw. I need time for me." Hale's quick to answer. "Besides we have to get a nice one eventually. They can't all be assholes."

The tension in the pit of my stomach becoming less about Bo and more about an impending problem. Dyson's offer or rather warning to run months ago suddenly becoming the main thought running through my mind.

"Doesn't matter who they send, it's going to be different this time." Bo proclaims, earning all our attention. "No more bossing us around, no more humans are third rate citizens and most importantly you," She glances over at me smiling. "Are free. I will make sure it stays that way."

…

The pen trails off, eyes running over my written words but refusing to read what I've actually written. Words I've never said aloud, words I can't bring myself to admit now written for her.

There just never seems to be enough time.

…

 **23 Days Ago**

…

"My last official act as Acting Ash." Hale holds up the piece of paper by the corner. "Granted it's like a week late, but Lil Mama is good with the forgery and we're all good."

"So, it's official?" Bo asks, sliding off of her barstool.

"It is. Lachlan is gone so that ends that commitment. Technically ownership," He stops, tensing up. "Official words, not mine. Would have gone to me and I have released you. This new Ash shouldn't even think about it."

"Thank you sir." Bo takes the paper from him, laughing as she takes my hand and pulls me through the Dal and into the alley.

"Are you okay?"

"I am great!" Abruptly she falls still, her hand still wrapped around mine. "Do you need this paper for it to be official?"

"N-no."

"Good!" She lets go of my hand, ripping the paper into two and then four and then six before throwing it into the dumpster. "That was the last little bit of crap suggesting ownership of you."

"Bo."

"And there will **never** be anything else like it."

"What if I want to get married?" I can't help smiling as I watch her eyes widen. "The ring Bo, technically would be an ownership, of a kind." She just sort of stares. "Bad joke."

"You think about marriage?"

"Do you?"

"Depends which me you're asking."

"Oh boy." Sigh and chuckle mixing as I nod, accepting my answer. "We should go back it, they'll come looking for us."

"Hey." Her call stops my steps. "There's times I do."

"Interesting."

…

Hesitation once again my friend as I go to sign the letter, after all what is the appropriate way to sign a letter given our situation.

"Figured you'd be gone by now." Bo's words forcing me from my thoughts, hand going to my face as I wipe my eyes not completely sure she's actually here.

"Bo, just let me explain."

"Do you realize how many times you've had to start a conversation with that?"

"I understand-."

"Say that a lot too." She sort of scoffs. "You say a lot of things."

"So do you." I can hear my voice subtlety break as I slide from the stool, walking into the living room to meet her. My eyes running over every inch of her. I was right. New clothes, a shower…a feeding and she's right as rain.

"Meaning?"

"N-nothing Bo."

"Right, I forgot you get to make all the decisions with us. You decide how we act and what we do and apparently all of the life changing decisions."

"No Bo, I think the how we act has always been your choice."

She stares at me for a moment, almost as if her argument has ran right into a brick wall. The truth is, we're both wrong. The truth is we're always both wrong and both right, we can just never manage to find ourselves on the same page. And during those split few seconds we do, well life has an interesting sense of humor.

"Dammit Bo." Anger and pain getting the better of me, hands running through my hair. "I am sorry, beyond what you can ever imagine. I'm sorry about how we started and all of the lies. I'm sorry about every time I've hurt you. I wish I could take it all back. I do."

"You can't." Her voice breaks this time, jaw tensing as she doesn't look away from me but her eyes look at everything except me.

"I know." My nod of defeat. "Neither can you."

…

 **6 Days Ago**

…

"Time to go human lover." She timidly smiles, turning to face me. She looks almost as exhausted as myself. This case or rather favor taking a toll on both of us.

"I just hope Hale my message."

"I'm sure the carvery's on their way." Her eyes fall from mine, a new gentleness to her features. "Doctor Evert?"

"She had to know what the warden would do to her. Why didn't she get out when she could?"

"Why didn't you?" There's a momentary pause, just a moment and had I not been paying attention I would have missed it. In that moment I think she's asking me something, something deeper than her words. "She couldn't leave her patients behind. You felt it. You were right." And then the moment is gone. "About everything."

Or maybe I'm wrong.

Her eyes meet mine and in this moment everything else drifts away. Everything else is gone other than her. She takes a step forward, hand slightly reaching up and I feel myself start to lean in.

"Everyone okay?" Dyson's voice cuts through the air, both of us taking a small step away from each other.

She flashes me this small, apologetic smile and I flash one back of my own as I nod. It's just sort of what we do. Our moments come and then they go and we both just sort of accept that.

…

"You're an ass. A big, big..shity ass."

"Excuse me?"

"No, shut up. I am furious at you Lauren. So furious I don't even have a word." She sort of paces for a moment before abruptly closing the distance between us. "I am furious." Her voice breaks once more, eyes glistening ever so slightly and it's so hard to breathe. "I came here to fight. I came here to yell at you. I wanted to make sure you knew how furious I am." She sort of laughs, giving me the saddest of shrugs. "But the thing is I realized I'm so angry because I'm so hurt."

"Bo."

"So what you're ward of the Ash right? I mean at the end of the day it doesn't matter what piece of jewelry you wear, all that matters is us. In fact, it might even be romantic us sneaking around for our visits again. Just like when we first me."

"Bo, please just-."

"You Lauren are the only one who can do this to me." It's a mixture of a sigh and a chuckle as she takes my hands within her own. "I don't know how to handle this…us. It's not an excuse I know, but I'm so tired of fighting you. Of fighting us." Her eyes meet mine, hands letting go of mine only to find a new home on my cheeks. Stray tears having betray me being wipes every by the gentlest brush of her thumbs. "It's time."

"It's time?"

"Us." There's never been so much conviction in her words before.

And there's never been so much heartbreak in mine. "Really?"

"I want to give this a real shot. Be together. Life is too short."

"I wish…"

"Wait. Just wait before you say no, I know things have to change." She nods, her own tears threatening to slip free. "I do. And they can. I can. I promise. Tonight, all of this will never happen again."

My response lost in a frustrated sound of defeat and disappear. There's a million things I should be saying, but I can't help falling into her. My own hands cupping her cheeks as I steal a kiss. It's somehow equally as passionate as it is desperate.

Then as always, our moment is over.

Without warning a deep voice orders her out, the two of us breaking apart as Bo instinctively as she always does steps in front of me. The heaviest of smiles momentarily curving my lips. _Always my protector._ This time though just as I had done with Lauchlan, I step in front of her.

"Do you know these clowns?"

"Bo, I tried to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"I did what I had to, to save you. I don't regret it."

"W-what does that mean?"

"I only had twenty-four hours to be with you."

"Enough of this." One of the men say, quickly coming up behind me.

My hands on her shoulders now. "Please, just leave. Don't fight this."

"The hell I won't Lauren."

"Bo, please. You will lose and then I will be…this once again for nothing."

"You can't ask me to do this."

"I already have."


	4. C3: Were We?

**CHAPTER THREE: Were we?**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

"Doctor Lewis." Her voice greets me, or rather halts me.

There atop the corner of my freshly made bed she sits in the dark, one leg folded over the other. A million questions running through my mind, most dominate one being how in the world she managed to get into my bedroom when I was just downstairs.

Questions though are irrelevant when it comes to my current predicament so instead of speaking I drop to my knees, head bowed. Slight rush of panic spreading through my entire body as I hear her sigh. She's displeased with my response, I've done something wrong. Maybe I've forgotten something.

"That's unnecessary." Her hand waves me up. "I call you Doctor Lewis primarily out of…affection, not professional curtesy. I know with me being gone right after we made our arrangement some things have been left unsaid, to say the least."

"Yes ma'am."

"Sasha."

"Pardon?"

"My name is Sasha, when we are alone you may call me by it."

"With all due respect, that may be inappropriate."

"To who?" She sort of smirks, giving me a half nod. "Did you enjoy your freedom?"

"Again with all due respect, I believe you know my answer."

"I am not as horrible as you seem to think I've become."

"Of course."

"After all, I did save the baby succubi."

"For a reward."

"You disrespect me?" She stands and regrettably I take a step back. Had she been anyone else she might have reacted. That was one of the first rules I had learned in my early days of slavery. Never pull away, never backway just take whatever you've earned. "It would be ill-advised Doctor Lewis."

"I would never."

"You know Lauren, I'm not your enemy. Once you get to really know me you'll see that I can be rather good company. In fact, some have even used the word sweet." Her hand rests on my shoulder for a moment as she starts passed me. "I just wanted you to know I was back."

"May I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

I glance over my shoulder, but don't turn around. "Is it really so hard to find a medical advisor?"

"Believe it or not, it is rather difficult. You have to take into count your experience both human and Fae alike. It is why you've always managed to skirt the edge defiance. Besides, I am preparing to do a reassessment of my Fae and someone with your expertize is going to be very beneficial."

"I understand."

"And to be honest, my interest in you is not completely professional."

She doesn't say anything further, just sort of laughs underneath her breath as she walks off. I could have made a comment or uttered out another 'yes ma'am', but the fear of prolonging this conversation keeps me silent. The fear of keeping her here any long than need be keeps me lingering in my bedroom long after the sound of footsteps has silenced.

The irritating sound of my personal phone vibrating in my bedside drawer sending a shiver down my spine. An abrupt fear ripping through me at the nagging thought it had gone off while she was waiting. An even more intense fear that she had managed to snoop around before I made it back up here. I had told myself over and over again to get rid of that phone, but I find myself strangely tied to it.

 _Good God._

Sighing, I stomp over to the drawer like a child mid tantrum. Intense fear that I'll find Bo's name written across the screen. A severe disappointment a replacement when it's not.

.

 **Kenzi:** Is Bo w/ u **? (7:46 a.m.)**

 **Kenzi:** An answer would b nice. **(7:48 a.m.)**

 **Kenzi:** I need 2 kno if she is w/ u. It's life or death. **(7:52 a.m.)**

 **Kenzi:** She went to face a kangaroo. **(7:58 a.m.)**

.

 _A kangaroo?_

.

 **Kenzi:** Stupid spell ck. Kiloragrg. **(8:06 a.m.)**

 **Kenzi:** Dnt worry bout it. Srry to both u. **(8:15 a.m.)**

 **Kenzi:** I'll call Dyson. **(8:15 a.m.)**

 **.**

 _For such a tiny girl she has a mean streak like no other._

I toss the phone down on the mattress, taking a seat as I pull my laptop out. Quickly logging into the Ash's database I search for this illusive Fae that I've never heard of before. Every fiber of my being telling me to leave this be. After all she mentioned the magical fix-all word; Dyson. Although she also mentioned the situation being life or death.

Kiloragrg…Non-existent. Killorag…Non-existent. Kill Orag…Non-existent. Killing Oarg…Non-existent.

 _Think Lauren, think._

Kil Orange…Non-existent. Killrgrg…Non-existent. Kangaroo…Non-Fae, reference zoological database.

 _Worth a shot…sort of._

Killing…Non-existent. Kilgore…Under-Fae, fourth classification.

 _Oh Bo, what have you gotten yourself into now._

* * *

.

 **The Dal – 10:45 a.m.**

 **(KENZI'S POV)**

.

 _Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad._

Thoughts and words overlapping while I push passed the crowd of Fae, Dyson and Hale leaning against the pool table pretending to know how to play.

 _Boys._

"Kenzi."

"Lil Mama." Hale tips his hat at me, smirking.

"Yeah. Hey. Hi. Great to see ya. I need major help. Like major, manly Fae help."

"What do ya know Lil Mama, you've found two manly Fae."

"The manliest." Dyson laughs taking another drink.

"Great you're drunk already. I need Wolfy-GPS. So drink a pot of coffee on the way and lets G-O."

"What's up?"

"Bo vanished on me. She's been on some stupid case and didn't wanna wait for her trusty sidekick who saves her all the time. Now she's MIA. Oh and BTW, she is kinda, sorta, maybe, possibly… probably with Lauren."

He almost chokes on his beer. "Say what Lil Mama?"

"I may have sorta text Lauren about some trouble and she wasn't answering me. Which you know, no real loss but I might have triggered the Doctor's martyr complex when I said Bo might be in troubs. And usually when our situations are crap, they're shit."

"Dammit Bo." Dyson growls, slamming his bottle on the table. Hale sighing as he waves me toward the door.

"I been saying that too."

* * *

.

 **Devil's Bluffs – 11:56 a.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

.

 _Thank God_.

Wave of relief washing over me as I find a pulse in her limp wrist. Carefully I let her arm fall back to the ground. Seven minutes and she still remained unconscious, but her damage is far less severe than the last time we found ourselves in this position. Her wrists suffering the worst of it, skin raw and peeling from the cuffs. A dark bruise on her neck from where he had choked her on conscious. Small cut underneath her left eye. I hate seeing her hurt, even a scrape but this doesn't panic me.

My eyes linger on her face, small smile curving my lips. It has been ten days since I've seen her, the longest in months. It had become a dull ache, a phantom limb situation if you will, but now staring at her…it hurts more than any fresh wound ever could.

"Hey." Her whisper earns the faintest of smiles from me.

"Good you're awake." Pulling away from her and bringing myself to my feet in one swift motion, I extend my hand. "Come on, we have to go."

She takes my hand, struggling to get to her feet. "How'd you even find me?" Her arm wrapping around my shoulders as mine wraps around her waist. I must have missed an injury. "Where are we going?"

"We have to follow the smell."

"Smell? Are part lab and forget to mention it?"

"If I was, you'd probably have taken more of an interest in me." Her weight increasing on me as my pointed joke falls flat. "I remember it when I came in, it lessened the closer I got to you."

"Speaking of, why are you here?"

"Gratitude has never been your strong suit." Comment muttered under my breath.

Surprisingly she doesn't have a comment waiting for me, maybe she's just too weak at the moment. Silence falls upon us and it's probably the most awkward thing I've experienced in my life. There's so much I want to say to her, so much that needs to be said, but I can't seem to muster the courage to form the words. Every so often she looks at me or rather glances at me, almost as if she is plagued with the same confliction. If only words weren't so hard for us, life would be so much easier.

With every labored step the repugnant odor grows, stomach beginning to turn on itself like a wild animal caught within a trap. She doesn't say anything, but every once and a while she lets out a cough letting me know I'm not the only one suffering.

Steps coming to a halt, I guide her to the wall. "Stay here." Surprisingly she just nods, had this been another time I could have made a joke or two about why isn't she always this compliant. Sadly this isn't another time. Cautious steps come to an abrupt stop, jaw clenching as I feel bile quickly rushing up though my throat, a mere second and I can taste it in my mouth.

Just ahead in a cove within the wall there lays the cause of our stench problem. A dozen or so mutilated bodies in various stages of decomposition. Part of me wants to step in, search for survivors, it's just what I do, but the other part of me reminds me we're quickly running out of time in more ways than one. That part reminds me rather emphatically that there's no survivors in there, there couldn't be.

Decision made for me as I hear Bo collapse to the ground, without hesitation I'm at her side with a speed even surprising to myself. She asks me "What's wrong?" The urge to smile near impossible to fight. Here she is, beaten and broken again and she's asking me what's wrong. It's in moments like these I know there's no one quite like her in the world.

"Found the cause of the smell."

"Do I wanna know?"

"Probably not."

My hands run up her arms and then down before doing the same to her legs and she chuckles making some kind of comment that falls to deaf ears. My eyes narrowing as I start to pull up her shirt, stomach covered in blood. _How did I miss that?_

"If you wanted to cop a feel, you don't have to work so hard. Thought you'd know that by now." Her chuckle stifled by a hiss of pain.

"Hm."

"You don't have to turn every joke into a fight."

"You don't have to turn every situation into a joke." Sighing, index and middle finger tightly pressed together as I gently feel around the wound, assessing the rate of blood loss. "You should have told me."

"Just a papercut." Her one hand pushing her shirt down over my hands, the other cupping my cheek. "I'm okay. I'll be fine."

"Not if we keep going in circles. Eventually we'll run into the Kilgore and you're in no condition to protect us."

"Could always call Sasha."

"Don't be petulant."

"Don't call me petulant." Her momentary assertiveness gone as quickly as it came, her hand holding her stomach. "I can make it, but we have to keep going."

"No, feed."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

 _Always have to do things the hard way._

Shaking my head to myself, mind quickly running through every scenario possible. The sound of the seconds ticking away growing louder and louder. The Kilgore won't stay away forever. Her blood loss isn't slowing down. I've been away from Sasha's watchful eye too long. At the end of every issue a horrifying consequence awaiting me…awaiting us.

"Never the easy way with you Bo."

"What does-?"

Her question cut off as my left hand runs up the inside of her thigh stopping at her lower stomach, right hand cupping her cheek as my lips capture hers. Kiss of necessity and irritation quickly melting into one of longing and desperation. The feel of her lips on mine and the soft whimper into my touch reminds me that even through all of the pain and anger, there's only her.

Slightly pulling back, finding her eyes already peering into mine. She doesn't speak, but her look still tells me she won't feed. _So stubborn_. Remembering the task at hand, the necessity of it all I let my hand fall lower. She whispers my name as I lean in, biting gently just above her collarbone, a particular weakness of hers. Smirk curving my lips as they brush against her jaw till finally finding a home back on her lips.

For a second it's just an amazing kiss in the most inopportune times…and then it's more. I feel a soft rush through my body, an exhilarating rush. There's nothing other than pure euphoria for several moments. Then I feel the drain as if hit by a freight train.

"Oh God. Lauren, I'm sorry. I never-what did I do?"

"Shh." My hush against her lips, weakness undeniably present, but bearable. "You should have taken more."

"I would have killed you."

"I trust you."

"Still?" Her eyes searching every inch of my face.

"Always." I flash her a gentle smile, reality rapidly coming back into existence. "We have to go."

"Lauren."

She calls for me, even reaches for my hand but I'm already on my feet. Slight dizzy spell coming in waves but my desire to get away from this moment of ours greater than any pain. It's all just too much. I start back toward the smell, passing the cove in the wall. It takes several more lefts and some stumbles but we begin to see daylight in the distance.

Dizziness subsiding as the weakness begins to pass. She has more self-control than she gives herself credit for, had she taken as much as she feared it wouldn't have passed this quickly. I wouldn't have been able to push on as quickly as I have.

"Lauren wait."

"Bo, we have to go." My attention falling back to the ray of light on the ground just a step away. Six more steps and we'd be free. Well, in the loosest of terms.

"I know, but…"

"Are you okay?"

"No." She sort of laughs, hand reaching out for mine but I don't take it this time. "We step outside and we're back in the real world."

"That would be the point of an escape."

"W-were we?" Her voice trembles and I can't breathe. "We were in love, we're we?"

"Bo…"

"Please, I keep going back and forth in my mind having these arguments with myself and whichever side I give into I never seem to feel like I know."

"We-."

"Thank God! All of them!" Kenzi's voice startles me, my eyes ripped away from Bo to our impending exit. Kenzi running straight to Bo while Dyson stays at the edge.

"Hm." Forced smile curving my lips as I nod, maybe more to myself at a realization than anything. "I don't know why I bother."

"Lauren-?"

"I have to get back, I'm already going to be in trouble." Without a glance I move passed Dyson who doesn't say a word.

 _Seriously, why do I even bother?_

* * *

 **.**

 **The Dal – 5:42 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

 _You're fine, you've got this._

 _Lies, lies and lies._

Staring into the bathroom mirror I try to convince myself I'm fine again. To be fair I haven't been fine in a long time, but I manage to keep it together. Then something happens, something like today and I'm back at square one all over again. Two days ago it was some paper of hers I found under my bed, no clue how it got there but sent me on a bender to a blackout. Yesterday I was surviving, but now…I'm far from it.

"Come on Bo, you're better than this."

Shaking my head at myself I head out, walking back to my empty barstool next to Kenz and Hale who are well past the point of caring if anyone notices they're getting a little more than friendly. Trick pours me another shot, looking over me the way he does as if I'm made of glass. I hate that look.

"Ohh, Bo-Bo, what about that'a one?" She takes Hale's shot, free hand pointing out at the woman who was walking in.

Yeah, she's hot. Young. Mid-twenties easily, well if she isn't Fae otherwise all bets are off. Her body hidden by a tight, red cocktail dress perfectly on display, leaving little to the imagination. She looks athletic, definitely would be a great time. She's even got that 'I-don't-give-a-shit' attitude, all that work on her outfit yet she just has her hair lazily pulled back. She'd be a great time, I have little doubt.

She just isn't Lauren.

"I wouldn't advise that." Trick sighs, giving the three of us a refill.

"Why the lady-lovin' not? I'm not into all that, buuuut I'd consider her."

I chuckle, Kenz's statement barely finished as the mystery woman walks up to us. She smiles, hand reaching out to me. "We haven't properly met yet."

"No, we haven't." I can't help laughing, smirking at the unusual turn of events. "Nice to meet you."

"Mm." She nods, pulling her hand from mine as she looks passed me at Trick. "The place has held up well, after all this time. Hale, shouldn't you be on duty?"

"I—well see the thing-."

"Relax, I'm not that much of a stickler for the rules." Her attention finally turns back to me. "But I am a teensy bit territorial. Might be a good thing to know about me, maybe even the only thing you need to know about me."

She smiles at me before walking away up to the far table in the corner, waving off the small group who had been there for hours. It takes less than a second for them to run away, the last one brushing off the table before catching up with his drinking buddies.

"New Ash?"

Hale and Trick answer me in union, "New Ash."

"She's different."

"You have no idea." Hale laughs, this time stealing Kenz's shot.

"Dayum. I think I need to reconsider where I fall on the lady-lovin' scale." Kenz laughs, leaning back into Hale.

At first I'm distracted from this new Ash, the current thorn in my side. At first I'm laughing at her comment and how goofy she looks falling into Hale. At first I feel almost normal. But curiously I have to follow Kenz line of sight, see this second woman that she'd ' _consider_ ' switching teams for. The first thing that catches my attention is the two clowns I recognize from Lauren's apartment. Then I see her.

Lauren steals the attention of everyone and if I could tear my eyes away from her to count just who was taking notice, I'm sure I'd be jealous as hell. But I can't, all I can do is stare at her. Hair down, slight wave perfectly done. She's got makeup on and not the slight bit she uses on a day to day, but really done up. Gym shoes traded for heels and scrubs traded for a form fitting black dress that shows off more than I like…for others to see.

"Doctor Hotpants cleans up nice, good job buddy."

"Hey I…" She walks right passed me, without even a glance. "…Am apparently invisible."

"Bo, whatever you're thinking I strongly recommend against it." Trick warns me. "There are things at play here, things that make what you're thinking dangerous—for everyone."

"Meaning?"

"The Ash, her interest in Lauren is not entirely professional."

"Oh, really?" Turning around I glare him down. "Did you just figure that out or did you know that?"

"We didn't wish to upset you further."

"We?"

"Dyson and I, we felt it was in your-."

"Back to you and Dyson and your 'We-know-better-than-Bo' shit."

I glance back at the table, Sasha smiling at me as her hand rests over Lauren's arm. It's not until I feel myself run into Hale I realize I've moved at all "Whoa. This ain't the road you want to take." His words sound more like a plea than an order, but all I can see is her touching Lauren.

"I think I do."

"Four guards."

"I've taken worse."

"Most of the bar would jump in."

"I can take them."

"This Ash, she isn't someone you wanna piss off Bo."

"I've pissed off all the others, why is she special?"

"Babes," Kenz's hand goes to my shoulder. "You do this now, it might be bad for Lauren."

* * *

 **.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

"She's rather attentive for someone whose heart should be broken." She whispers through a smile, keeping her appearance up. "Almost as if she hasn't had weeks to deal with the separation."

"Ma'am."

"Were we not in understanding of one another when we discussed the terms of our agreement?"

"We were."

"I heard your guard was unable to find you for a few hours this morning."

"A-a mistake, I didn't know I needed to inform him of my every trip. It won't happen again."

"Interesting."

"Ma'am?"

"I know you're lying, yet your heartrate hasn't increased a bit. Impressive."

I nod, curiosity quietly satisfied as I realize her index and middle finger are on my wrist, perfect position to feel my pulse. Very clever. She is quite clever, have to give her that. She is more than looks and privilege, unfortunate. This will only make my sentence all the more complicated.

"If she doesn't stop watching you, I'm going to have to say something."

"She's stubborn, that's all."

"And I am territorial. That doesn't assure me that this will have a peaceful resolution."

"It will." My eyes catch a glimpse of Bo, still watching me like a hawk. "It can."

"How?"

 _That's the question; how can I keep her safe?_

I was wrong today, I should have left it to Dyson. He would have gotten her, saved the day just as always. She didn't need me. _Now look what you've done Lauren._

"You know I've heard rumblings ever since she came crashing into the wonderful world of Fae. About a champion, a great one who refuses to choose sides. Who fights for humans and Fae alike. The daughter of…" She trails off, she catches I'm too interested. "A royal family."

"Bo did make a few waves."

"It's been a long time since I've had a good fight."

Bo must have had too many, this is the third time she's gotten off her stool. Kenzi gesturing toward the door, Hale once again standing in front of them.

 _You're going to get yourself killed Bo…I didn't save you from Syra just to die at the hands of Sasha._

"I will handle it."

"I'm not her, I don't need help in a fight. The concern is touching though."

"Sasha, please."

"We'll see." She sort of laughs, waving me off as her attention turns to our visitor, the Ash of another district. If Sasha is anything it's efficient.

The conversation drones on for nearly an hour before I completely begin tuning it out. Everything about tonight has been excruciating. Every touch from Sasha. Every stare from Bo. Every glance from her social group. Every single word during this exchange. Every drink that I am _allowed_ by Sasha. Tempting the length of my leash I take the pen this other Ash left on the table after signing something or other. Lack of paper just one more piece of hay on my crap-hay bale.

Small doodle after doodle on discarded napkins occupying my thoughts or rather lack thereof until I feel Sasha shift beside me, sighing. Curiosity and self-preservation kicking into overdrive I look up to find Hale closer to us than ever before. He's smiling awkwardly, sort of waving, but behind him and his cheap distraction I see Kenzi once again trying to push Bo back.

"I thought it was handled?"

My heart beginning to race as I see anger wash over Sasha. Bo managing to make it just a tad bit closer to the table. Sasha might not kill her, but she will make an example of her. All these people, some Bo has fought and some she will eventually. Her body might recover the beating, but her pride might not.

I stand abruptly before I make the decision to do so. "Excuse me, I need the restroom."

"Doctor Lewis."

I hear her call me but I'm committed now. Committed to what, I'm unsure of but I am committed. Sigh escaping me as my stomach starts to turn. In my peripheral I see Hale shake his head. Warning after warning sprouting up like the Whack-a-Moles children's game.

"There you are, managed to break free from your master?"

 _She's drunk._

"Leave me alone Bo." I warn, trying to make it passed her to the bathroom door…or maybe the exit. "Please."

"I need to talk to you."

"You shouldn't be here."

"I shouldn't be in my grandfather's bar?" She laughs, almost stumbling a step or two as she pushes Kenzi away. "Just because _she's_ here?" Her arm raises going to point at Sasha and I unusually thank God as Hale hits her hand down for me.

"Just let me go to the bathroom."

"Not until you tell me why. Why you won't answer my calls. Why you won't see me. Why you did this to me, to us. I don't understand it Lauren."

"You." My breath catches in my throat, heart tightening within my chest. Her eyes peer into mine and for a split second it's just us, a stolen moment of ours and it's safe. It's safe because I think she just might understand…all of it. Then I remember Sasha is watching on pins and needles, every choice could very well seal both of our fates. "You. You. You! It's always about you, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Everything must always be about you. All the time we have to walk around worrying about you, you never once think about us."

She looks abruptly sober. "Nice to know what you think of me."

"What I think of you is that…you're selfish. Completely and utterly selfish. You think everything revolves around you and what's worse is you think it should. You think because I'm the closes thing you've had to a relationship since," Hesitation pulling at me with every word. "Kyle, I should cater to your every need. Do you ever once think about me?"

"L-Lauren, I am thinking about you. I just-?"

"Do you have the first clue of what I went through? How scared I was? How alone? What I had, no, have to do to get you out of there?

"How could I, you didn't give me a chance you just ran off to her." She waves off in the air, in the wrong direction thankfully.

"You have always been and will always be more concerned with your friends, your choices, your freedom and your own needs more than me."

"This is our business, not theirs." She speaks after a minute, suddenly sober enough to remember we have an audience. "Dammit! Turn around and face me." She snaps as I attempt to walk away once more. "Lauren."

"What does it matter if they hear?" I turn back around to face her, this isn't done yet. "You care so much, but yet you never show it to anyone. Not to your friends. Not to strangers. I mean really, while I was gone did you care? Bother to look for me? Or were you too busy with Dyson? You always seem to run back to him."

"Don't you dare Lauren. I tried. Check your messages. Check-."

"You're pathetic Bo."

"You know nothing about me. Nothing!"

"Bo, you're the loneliest and curliest person I know."

"Me?" Her voice raises again, she take several steps toward me as Hale and Kenzi completely back away now. "Let's take a look in the mirror Lauren. Nadia died and it was wrong and it shouldn't have happened but it did and you won't get over it. You hide behind everything. You run from everything. So don't you dare blame me for this!"

"Okay." I nod attempting to walk away once again, but her hand wraps around my wrist pulling me to a stop. "Let me go."

"You aren't happy cause you don't wanna be. You aren't free because you don't wanna be. You don't want anything other than to be what you are now. A lapdog. A whore for whoever the Ash of the moment is. You feel better this way. Us was always just what I thought it was, wasn't it? All for the Ash. All for the greater good of your masters."

"Sure." I nod, jaw clenched tight enough to be the cause of tears forming in the corner of my eyes. My attention momentarily shifting to Sasha who intently watches, hand raising slightly keeping her bodyguards at bay, yet ready to step in.

"Admit it. Admit everything was a lie. Admit every dinner…every touch…every time we…it was all a lie."

"It wasn't." Admission a whisper, an inaudible one by the way Sasha remains calm and the way Bo still refuses to let go of my wrist.

"I was just a substitute for Nadia."

Attempt to jerk my wrist away from her failing. The world quickly spinning out of my control. This all too much for me to handle. It just escalated so quickly, too quickly. I thought I had a handle, but I didn't. Truth is, I don't think I've ever had a handle on this. "Let me go."

"That's your only desire isn't it? Be away from me." She pulls me closer as I go away, my body falling into hers for a moment. There's so many things I could do, should do but all I can focus on is that Sasha has sat up.

"Stop this." I warn underneath my breath.

"Worried her attack dogs will remove me? Beat me? Let them, hell, let them kill me then you'd really get what you want. See I thought all the talk about being free was just bullshit, it was just about wanting to be free from me."

Anger pulsing through me like I have felt very few times in my life, like I never once thought was possible to feel towards her. Jerking my arm away, free hand slapping her across her face.

"You are a spoiled brat. How I ever thought you were anything more is beyond me. You know nothing about me nor sacrifice."

"Go. To. Hell."

"If it's away from you, gladly."

"Enough." Sasha speaks, the eager gawking crowd stepping away from us. "I believe the lady wishes to leave."

"T-thank you." I bow my head, every ounce of remaining strength going into keeping my tears from falling.

* * *

.

 **B/K Apartment – 10:19 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

.

"Thought you'd be gone already."

I sigh walking out from the bathroom finding Dyson only partially dressed, looking out my window. "My apartment."

"Never stopped you before." He laughs, picking his shirt up from the floor. "Forget how to speak?" He asks after a minute or two of silence. My arms folded over my chest, impatiently waiting for him to finish dressing and get out.

"Just shut up already."

"Careful Bo."

"Careful?"

"I'm not Lauren and I'm not your dog, you can't just make me jump at your orders."

"I have a few memories, some from tonight that say otherwise."

"I'm not playing this game."

"Which game are we playing?" My arms drop to my sides, my eyes flashing blue as I smirk.

"Make up your mind."

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly what it sounds like." He walks passed me, heading down the hall and toward the living room.

"I'm not done."

"I am."

"D-man!" Kenz lets out in between a bite of cereal.

"Dyson I swear if you walk out right now…" He spins around, in my face nearly ready to growl.

"Then what Bo?"

"Then…"

"Go ahead, if I walk out then what?" He looks me up and down as if I'm not me. Before snorting at me and walking out, slamming the door behind himself.

"So, back to D-man then?"

"Complaining?" Stomping my way into the kitchen, glaring at her as I steal her spoon. "Thought you preferred Dyson."

"Love me some D-man. Lauren, not so much. Buuut, this isn't about her or him or even me." She rips the spoon out of my hand. "This is about you. I'm worried Babes."

"Don't be. I'm fine."

"No Bobakins, you're not."

"I am." I steal back the spoon, cereal spilling onto the table.

"Dyson. Lauren. Dyson. Lauren. It's a revolving door that never stops with you. Just pick someone already. Him, her, the hot dog vender down the street, I don't care." She rolls her eyes, sighing. "Otherwise you're gonna lose both of them."

I toss the spoon back into her bowl, suddenly losing my appetite. "Can't lose something you never had." Shaking my head as I start back toward my bedroom.

"You guys are seriously ruining my mood!" She yells after me.

* * *

.

 **Lauren's Apartment – 11:17 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

.

"Ma'am." I feel my body go still, half inside my apartment, half outside. There she sits in the dark on my couch, sipping a glass of my wine.

"Bravo Doctor Lewis. I would have never made it quite so public, but that's me." She laughs, taking a drink. "Were we feeling the need for attention?"

"Pardon?" Cautiously I take a step inside, shutting the door behind myself as I toss my keys on the side table. "I am unsure what you mean."

"No, of course you don't." She takes a drink, smirking. "Let's hope she got the hint this time."

"Yes, hopefully."

"Is that a tone I hear?" She takes another drink, finishing off what was in her glass. "You may want to reevaluate your thought process."

"Of course." I bow my head, taking several steps toward the couch.

"I am slightly tipsy, I've spent quite some time waiting here for you."

"I apologize."

"Pray your little stunt tonight was enough for her to back off."

"She understood."

She stands up, dropping my glass on the table allowing it to shatter. She doesn't bother to look at it, just walks up to me, looking me over. I recognize the look, Bo does it quite frequently. Although when Bo does it, it's endearing and sexy. Now that Sasha does it, it's fightening.

"If she didn't?"

"She won't be a problem anymore, I know her."

"Yes you do." Her fingertips rest on my cheek, just beside my ear. "That's the problem."

For a moment she doesn't move and I don't dare to even breathe, and then she does. Her touch falls away from me and she looks as though she wants to say something, instead she walks out leaving my door open. I hear her first step and then I hear nothing.

 _One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand._

Forcing my breathing steady I slowly turn around, shutting the door carefully not to set off any alarms. If she was still lingering in the background the last thing I need is to upset her when she's in this state of mind. Alcohol seemingly having a similar effect on her as it does Bo. First it's fine. Second it's flirty. Third it's overly flirty. Fourth it's aggressive. Fifth, all bets are off.

 _One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand._

Exhaling a breath held far too long I turn the lock before storming up the stairs to my bedroom as quick as these irksome heels allow. Pulling open the nightstand drawer my personal phone still right where I had left it, even turned off. Glancing quickly around nothing seems disturbed at all. My eyes falling to the window, new wave of panic washing over me.

Quickly pushing it up, I poke my head out bumping it on the ledge. Pain coming in second to my panic as I reach for the third brick from the left corner of the windowsill. It's wedged tightly, tighter than I remember pushing it in. Panic subsiding slightly as I manage to free the brick, inside my special hidey-hole the envelope I had placed there.

 _Running behind Hale, very unlike you._

 _One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand._

I should trust the evidence, Sasha didn't come up here. Well, if she did she didn't snoop too much. I finally managed to catch a break, how unusual. Smirk attempting to curve my lips, fingers hesitantly opening the envelope followed by the two pages I had written. I never wanted to see this again, yet I have to be sure it's still here.

…

Bo,

Did you know that I am nothing? No, of course you don't. You don't because everyone thinks I am something special. Someone who is smart with ambitions and skills and who is fairly attractive. Someone who can be sweet and charming from time to time. But they're wrong…you're wrong. I haven't been any of that in years. I latched onto you so much in some ways because around you I became all of those things again. All of those things and so much more. I wasn't afraid to be me for once, not even Nadia could bring that out in me.

I never told you much about my past because I feared you wouldn't listen. Would you? I suppose I could have tried, but you were someone I never wanted to get hurt by. I was afraid that you wouldn't listen or care. I wanted so much to keep us from my past, from the Fae world. It's stupid I know. I also know I'm rambling, but I'm nervous and I'm drunk but most of all I desperately want you to understand why I have acted the way I have and the way I will. I want you to understand that despite everything and anything that happens, it's only to keep you safe.

I guess what I am trying to say is I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend to be who I used to be when I am nothing more than a shell. I can't keep doing this, playing this game with her all the while I am trying my hardest not to wish I am with you.

…

A noise startles me, my breath held as I count… _One one-thousand. Two one-thousand. Three one-thousand. Four one-thousand._ Maybe it's her, she's back to double check on me. Maybe she's back to punish me.

…

I won't be able to survive this if I know that you will continue to try. I won't be able to survive if there is hope that my knight in shining armor will continue to search for a way. I made a choice to do this to save you and Bo as much as this hurts, as much as it will hurt I would do it again every day for the rest of my life because it kept you safe. All of this has all been and will always be about keeping you safe, even if it kills me. So please, I beg you to stop. Don't call. Don't text. Don't send Hale with messages. Don't show up at the lab or apartment. And most of all don't start a fight with her, for both of our sakes. Just bow out gracefully and know you did everything you possibly could to save me. To save us.

The last thing I wish I could have told you in person is that I love you. I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you. Everything that is still alive inside of me, all that is still good is still yours, always. The entire time before I did this, I asked myself a single question. I asked myself if I would rather live the rest of my life a free woman somewhere without you or die this instant in your arms. Every single time I chose dying. I still do.

So, the point of this letter is to say goodbye. Please listen and above all, do not hate me.

Always,

Lauren

…

Tears filling my eyes, hand running through my hair.

 _What a tangled web we weave…what a tragic end._

Dropping my letter to the bed I kick my shoes off, desperately in need of some kind of relaxation. Small victories are still victories. Pulling a scrunchy from the nightstand I pull my hair back, a desire to wipe off my makeup falling wayside to my desire to lay down. Eyes falling to the letter once more, Hale is late, but if I want it to get to her I need to put it back out soon.

Question is if after tonight I still want her to have this. Do I not want her to have it because I'm hurt and being petty or because I just don't think it's worth it?

Slipping from my dress, eyes never once leaving the letter I find myself hesitating.

Is it goodbye I really want to say?


	5. C4: Call Out My Name

**CHAPTER FOUR: Call Out My Name**

 **.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"Waiting for someone?"

Smirk working its way onto my lips. Shot glass held between my middle finger and thumb, other hand griping the bottle I had been making my way through all night. Mr. GQ not the first to try tonight and probably not the last.

Tossing back shot number…too many to count I glance over at him. Solid eight and a half. The embodiment of tall, dark and handsome. Clean shaved and dapper, the complete opposite of Dyson which is enough to bump him up to a nine.

"Nope."

"Care for some company?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"If you're gonna get some better pickup lines as this goes on." I chuckle at the way he gets flustered, pouring myself another shot.

"I'm sorry, I don't do this very often."

"Hm." Smirk turning to a smile of sorts, tossing back another two shots as his words seem to bring me back to another time.

* * *

…

"I'm sorry, I don't do this very often." She smiles awkwardly, eyes narrowed almost as if she's trying to scowl at me. I can't help laughing at how adorable she can be.

"Do what exactly?" My eyebrow raising, and her mind immediately goes to the gutter as I see the tops of her cheeks turn red. "What exactly do you think this is Doctor?"

"I-I—no that's—I mean well, no not that I-?" Stopping to take a breath she stares at me for a moment before letting out that laugh of hers that makes me want absolutely anything just to hear it again. Just to see the smile that accompanies it. "You're teasing me."

"I would never!"

"Mm." Rolling her eyes her arms fold across her chest as she leans back against the fridge, still making sure to keep distance between us.

"I am very innocent I'll have you know."

She seems to choke on her whatever she was going to say next, slight cough turning to another laugh. "That's a good one."

"I am."

"Okay."

"I am."

"I believe you."

"No you don't."

Smiling, she shakes her head. "No, I really don't."

"That's not nice Doctor Lewis." I tease, taking a few steps toward her, stopping at the start of her kitchen. My hand coming to rest on top of the counter.

"I'm not very nice."

"I think you're nice…depending on the day."

She laughs out a "Hey", as she throws the dishtowel that had been hanging on the fridge handle at me.

"So, you really don't have too many visitors huh?"

"No, I actually don't."

"Well, just for you know, curiosities sake," Smiling, I roll my eyes at myself as I feel myself getting a little nervous. Hand idly tapping the surface of the counter. "What would not be a lot mean?"

"Oh, I don't know. Twenty?"

"Twenty?"

She laughs seeing my eyes widening at her highly unexpected answer. "I'm speaking literally Bo, but for what you're asking just you. Well, you and Nadia, but that's…"

"Y-yeah." I nod. Giving it a good minute of awkward silence before the realizing the 'only me' part of her answer. "Only me, huh."

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Yes." I nod, my turn to laugh as her eyes narrow. "Have you see you Lauren? Have you met you?"

…

* * *

"Ha! And I'm a virgin."

"Really, I don't."

"Okayyyy, Mr. I-Don't-Do-This-Very-Often, then why choose me?"

"Why not?"

"I'm sitting in the darkest corner not speaking a word to anyone, obviously more interested in building a castle out of empty shot glasses than anything else."

"You are."

"There are plenty of half-dressed, drunk and ready to go women everywhere."

"There are."

I take another shot, tipping my shot glass over. "Then why me?"

"Obvious, you're the most beautiful woman in here."

* * *

…

"You are absolutely beautiful." She whispers, lips grazing over my ear as her leg stays firmly pressed between mine. Her body gradually relaxing atop of mine, her muscles giving out for the moment.

"In a completely professional way, right?" I laugh, earning a playful nip at the base of my jaw. "Ow."

"Bo." She pulls back, the look in her eyes making my name sound unfamiliar and amazing all at the same time. "I'm serious."

"And I thank you, but to be fair I think it is all part of my succubus-ness."

"No," Repositioning herself, she props up on one elbow as her other hand rests over my heart. "Your body is just," She bites her lip, stopping a soft chuckle from escaping. "And your face, your looks, it all makes you…" She smiles, trailing off. "But what makes you beautiful, more than anything else is your heart."

"Th-that's a first."

"Maybe they didn't take enough time to notice." Her eyes fall to my chest, but not in the way I would expect. She just needs a moment to composure her thought. Maybe keep from saying something, something I wish she would. She always has had a weird obsession with censoring herself. "Maybe they didn't think you deserve to know that you're so much more than you think you are."

…

* * *

"Getting better, but still needs some work there buddy."

"Can't I just be being genuine?"

"You could be, but you're not." My current emptied shot glass or what I like to call number twenty-seven nearly slips as I set it atop, nearly at the crowning point. Can't give up now. "No one's ever genuine."

"It's possible."

"Yeah," I nod, mind daring to venture away from him to somewhere, someone it shouldn't. "It is."

* * *

…

"Whatcha doing?" I ask as I walk in, finding her in full Lauren-mode. It's not until I'm near the couch I realize I didn't bother to knock at all. _Huh, getting a little too comfy there Bo._

"Oh you know, doctory stuff."

"You know I am actually interested in your work. You can talk to me about whatever it is you do." Leaning against the edge of the couch, watching her being all doctory. So adorable and sexy. So very sexy.

She looks up, smirking rather than smiling like a dog with a bone and I can't help returning it, suddenly very eager to know what she's gonna say.

"Really? You want to hear about my latest monograph regarding the rise on repellant gradient of Fae blood compared with human blood especially when suspended within an isotonic solution?"

I knew I should have stayed in school. "Or we could go to a movie."

"Okay." She laughs, stepping away from the microscope. "It's sweet though."

"Repellant gradient…something?"

"Ha. No. That you offered."

"The offer still stands, my ears are all yours Lauren, always. I just won't understand what you're talking about." I laugh, giving a shrug as she slowly begins making her way over to me. "It'll be fine though, we'll be like one of those old married couples where you see the little old lady just talking at her husband. He's not really listening."

"That's…I'm not sure if that's still sweet or oddly offensive."

"We should stick with sweet." I laugh, reaching out as she comes within arms distance. Index fingers slipping inside the two belt loops of her jeans, pulling her toward me. "Definitely stick with sweet."

"I agree." Smiling, she leans in lips instantly finding mine.

…

* * *

"You admit it then." He laughs.

"I do, people can be. You're not."

"I am. I think you're absolutely beautiful."

"And…?"

"And what?"

"Tell you what cowboy, you be honest with me right now and…" I place the last glass atop of my masterpiece before turning my full attention to him. The five or eight shots I've kicked back during our little convo doing wonders for him. Easily a ten now. "And I will," My hand resting on his knee. "Go home with you."

* * *

…

"She's not really into that."

"Not…into…it?" Kenz looks at me like I stopped speaking English. "What's not to be into?" She looks down at her hands, two horror dvds in each hand.

"It's fine Bo."

"She's more into sci-fi."

"Sci-fi?" Hale asks, taking two of the movies from Kenz. "Like Star Wars?"

"Star Trek." I answer, glancing beside me at Lauren who looks almost as uncomfortable as the time I made that treesome joke. Thought almost making me laugh, damn I can be a dumbass. Not that it's the worst thought in the world. Not that I'd be okay with sharing her. Huh, maybe it isn't such a great idea.

"Bo, really I am fine with anything."

"So, Princes Lea?"

"That's Star Wars." She answers Hale as he tosses the movies on the coffee table.

"Oh, well I like those little fuzzy monkey-koala lookin' things." Kenz attempts to be civil per my earlier bribery.

"Ewoks, and again that is Star Wars."

"What's Star Trek then?"

"It's um," Instantly kicking myself in my attempt to answer for her. Truth is I really have no idea what the hell it's about. I just happened to see the million blu-ray and books she has of them hidden away. "Like Star Wars…" Her eyes kinda narrow. "But not so much…it's similar in that they are both…in the future and space."

"Shoulda just stopped before you started." Hale laughs, taking a drink.

"Star Trek is Captain Kirk and Spock. Live long and prosper."

"Right." Kenzi nods. "But its humans and aliens in space, right? Same diff."

"It's," Lauren stops short, nodding. "Yes, sure, in an oversimplification then I would venture to agree."

"We could watch one." I suggest, to no one's approval. "Decide the difference? No?"

"Let's just watch one of the movies Kenzi picked out Bo, please. I insist."

"Hale, throw one on."

"Hold up Lil Mama, I'm googling Star Trek now."

Lauren nearly jumps up. "Excuse me, I need to use the restroom."

"Yeah, sure." I stupidly point back where it would be as if she hasn't been here a hundred times. "This is going great. I thought you were gonna try."

"Who doesn't like zombies?"

"Plenty of people."

"Who?"

"I don't know." Sighing, I get up tossing back the rest of my beer before following off after Lauren.

"I'm just finishing up." She forces a smile, wiping her hands on her pants like I can't tell they're dry.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine Bo, I won't die from watching a horror film."

"No, about the Star Trek thing. I just know you like it, I just wanted to make an effort."

"I know," She nods. "But maybe the next time you want to attempt an effort at….whatever this was Bo, try it without the audience."

She walks off leaving me standing there.

…

* * *

"Sorry, too late." I can't help laughing to myself, attention shifting back to my castle. "Thanks for playing.

He stands up, slamming down a ten or twenty on the bar. Visions a little too blurry to make it out. "You looked sad."

"What?" Unexpectedly I find myself looking up at him.

"You looked sad and lonely. I know what that's like, thought maybe you needed to talk."

He snorts at me before turning around and disappearing in the crowd. _Way to make an ass of yourself Bo_.

Slipping further into the land of pisspoor judgement I push myself from my stool, heading after him through the crowed and out into the alley.

"Hey. Hey guy." I call out, stumbling further down the alley. "What are you Houdini?"

Reaching the end of the alley I turn up empty. Guy gone, really everyone gone. _What time is it_? Glancing around in curiosity there's only one person in the whole street. No homeless. No people lingering at the bus stop. No drunks stumbling around laughing disrupting the peace. Just one guy…huh.

 _Walk away Bo, this is trouble._

He looks like his name is trouble…or asshole, can't decide yet. He looks how I must look to people half the time, on my good days. Almost looks like Mr. GQ had Mr. GQ looked evil and sexy all at the same time. His arms spread out over the top of what I'm assuming is his Benz.

"Don't think this is my exit." I laugh, glancing behind myself to find two more men coming up my way. "Ohh, okay I get it. You guys are the boy band Trick hired to play tonight right? Village Idiots? Boys to Losers? Something like that?"

Laugh only louder as I find myself stumble slightly. Mr. Benz's two flunkys nearly on top of me now. They hadn't slowed once, hadn't even cracked a smirk. Guess we're doing this.

The one on the right looks like a renegade cowboy. Boots, jeans, white wife beater and long brown hair hanging down freely. He's gotta be a decent fighter to be rocking that look. His partner opting for a similar outfit but much more clean cut. Normal night, thirty seconds for these bozos. Right now….we'll find out.

The cowboy is quicker than he looks, dodging a right hook and delivering a hard kick to my stomach. Mr. Clean grabbing me by the back of my neck as I stumble. One, two, four, six quick punches to my stomach before his partner lets go of my neck. Urge to fight back taking a backseat to the need to breath.

Hands pressed against the ground, gasping for breath while fighting the urge to throw up my night's accomplishment. Pushing through the pain, I lunge forward. Cowboy grabbing my shoulders throwing me into his friend who throws me back to the ground.

Sighing, I manage to stand looking between the two. "What are you two on?"

Mr. Clean takes a few steps forward and I manage to get a good two punches in before he grabs my face throwing me back to the grown. Cowboy's boot finding my chest keeping me from even attempting to get up this time.

 _Damn, this was embarrassing._

"Enough." Mr. Benz orders, snapping his fingers, Cowboy taking his boot off of my chest. Leaning down he grabs my foot dragging me toward the car.

Allowed to stand, I brush myself off suddenly looking like a dust bunny. "Lucky he stepped in cause," Back of my hand tapping Mr. Clean's chest. "I was about to seriously kick your ass."

 _Seriously, not ever a smirk?_

Sober enough to realize I'm beat, I get into the backseat beside him.

"Do you know who I am?" Despite his look his voice is smooth, not cocky and his behavior proper almost reminds me of Lauren. If Lauren had a thick Italian accent she was badly trying to hide.

"I'm sure you plan to tell me."

"Who I am is not important, my purpose here on the other hand…" he trails off, catching my wandering attention. "I know you, like most of your kind is unnecessarily defiant and embarrassingly ignorant so you are thinking that you could grab the handle, open the door and make it out of the car before I could grab you."

"I think I know who you are, Ms. Cleo right?"

"Let me inform you, you couldn't. I could snap your neck before you even laid a finger on the handle. Violence though is rather unnecessary."

"Violence is usually necessary."

"Not when you have leverage." He smirks, pulling out one of those flip phones I haven't seen in years. "On this phone there is exactly one number."

"Sounds lonely."

"If at any point you attempt to flee, I will dial it. Do you have an idea of what would happen if I do?"

"You go over your minutes?"

"The human is dead." His thumb flips the phone open. "Not the useless one who is with the siren, the other one."

"What makes you think I'd care?"

"Because you do." He chuckles. "You care because that is the flaw in your design, it is who you are. You care because that would be another human life lost on your hands. Though the main reason you care is because you love her."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Do not try and bluff me, I unlike you do not care. Not about human life or Fae life or this doctor. I do not care at all."

"What do you want?"

"For you to understand."

"That you don't care?"

"That this doctor has a purpose with us. A very important purpose that requires her full attention without distraction and you are a distraction. My job is to make sure you understand to keep your distance. The preferred method was violence, but I think that a more civil approach is acceptable."

"You call your attack Chihuahuas civil?"

"You forced my hand." He waves his hand, shrugging as if we had simply run into each other and not that I'd be peeing blood for the next week if I was human. "And understand me, if you force it again no one will be pleased."

"So, what is this master violent-less plan of yours? Talk me to death?"

"Ha. You're very amusing. Succubi are quite emotionless, unlike you. What you and the rest of your kind does have in common though is your sensitivity when it comes to your pride."

"I'm very humble."

"Where you differ is what makes you tolerate suffering. No matter how many beat downs, threats or long drawn out emotionally soul crushing fights you just keep coming back. You care, you love and that makes everything tolerable."

"But lemme guess, you know something that will change that?"

"I do."

"Look buddy, I am still highly drunk and borderline hungover already. It's weird actually, never had this happen before. I am thinking another bottle of tequila will fix me right up, so lets wrap this up."

"I was aiming for civility and tact, but as you wish. Your human is willingly…"

"Willingly what?"

"You weren't her first succubus Bo and you aren't her last." He smiles as he catches the way my jaw clenches. "See, no violence needed."

"Are we done?"

He doesn't speak, just leans forward opening the door for me. Every inch of me suddenly on fire, every desire screaming to punch that stupid smile right off his stupid face. But there's another urge. An urge stronger than all the rest. The one to give into weakness and acknowledge the pain in my chest. The one that's making me wanna find a dark corner somewhere and cry for another year or so.

"Who was that?" Dyson asks, his hand on my arm forcing me to a stop. I hadn't even realized he had been walking toward me.

"Ash's Hench-men, swear you light Fae are a hoot. Beatings, kidnappings..."

"You're bleeding." He reaches out to touch my face, I jerk away. "I'm not the enemy."

"Never said you were, just not in the mood right now."

His hand goes back to my arm, forcing me to another stop. "We have to talk."

"I don't wanna talk about us right now Dyson."

"Not about us, about Lauren."

"Popular topic." I snort. "Popular woman."

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"What's going on Bo?"

"Nothing, look I'm done. I don't care."

"You really should know…"

"I'm done!" I jerk my arm away, taking a stumble back. "I. Am. Done. Dyson. With the Ash. With the Fae. With the greater good. With Trick and his plans and lies. With you and your secrets and territorial bullshit. I'm done, Dyson. I'm done."

"And her?"

"Fuck her."

The words taste as disgusting in my mouth as the feeling deep within the pit of my stomach. The pain ripping through my chest easing any guilt as I find myself walking away from a shocked Dyson who doesn't try to stop me this time.

Good, I've always been better on my own.

I don't need him. I don't need her. I don't need anyone.

I don't.


	6. C5: Kobayashi Maru

**CHAPTER FIVE: Kobayashi Maru**

 **.**

 **(BO's POV)**

 **.**

I could run.

Arms folded tightly over my chest, staring down past my reflection at the empty street. Abandon car parked across the street underneath a burned out streetlight for the past thirty minutes. Probably stolen in a joyride, the teen that ran away from it I highly doubt he could afford it. He's long gone by now. I should call a cop. I know a few.

I could run.

Know a few. Ha. How funny of a sentence. I know a few. Yeah, I definitely know a few cops. I know Officer Morales, the desk cop who I innocently flirt with every time I'm at the station visiting all those other cops I know. I know Officer Ass-Hole a.k.a. Detective Thornwood a.k.a. I am a billion years older than you and know everything a.k.a Dick of an ex-boyfriend a.k.a all-around fuzzy asshole. And then I know Hale, can't forget Hale just about the last male on the planet I don't want to kick in the balls.

I could run.

It would be so easy to just throw together a bag and run. I hear Costa Rica is nice this time of year. Or Tahiti. Tahiti sounds like a magical place. Get a little sun, drink a little rum…not that I like rum but when in Rome, right? Plenty of hot guys and girls up and down the beaches for my picking. Shirtless guys and bikini clad women. Sounds absolutely perfect, doesn't it? So why am I still here?

"Hale sneak out?"

"W-what?" The floor creaking under her weight giving her away. "Hale wasn't here."

"Right." I nod, still staring at the car.

"What happened?" I can hear my bed move as she jumps on it. "Find us a case?"

"No."

"Damn, I could go for a little Kenz-O ass kicking time."

"No more cases."

"What do you mean no more cases?" I turn around to find her sitting up, pulling my pillow into her lap as she stares me down. "Bo-Bo, what's going on? Talk to Mama Kenz."

"Kenz, I love you."

"And I love you."

"And you're like my sister, I would do anything for you."

"Oh God, are you dying? Case I can get D-Man on the phone and over here in like two wags of a tail. Hell, I think we got some milk bones under the sink, might be one wag."

"I'm…Kenz, it's over."

"What's over?"

"All of it. Everything. I was stupid to think that this was ever going to work. To think it even had a chance in hell."

"The P.I. stuff?"

"No…yes…maybe." I shake my head, looking away from her. "All of it."

"Can I buy a clue?"

"I'm a succubus."

"And not a vampire, we covered this like three years ago."

"I…am a succubus." Repeating myself, I run my hand through my hair.

"Yeah, and I'm an incredibly cute sidekick with amazing fashion sense and a wig-game that would make Cher jealous. Great job at stating the obvious."

"Lauren's been saying it from the beginning."

"That I'm cute?"

"What? No." I roll my eyes, sighing instead of chuckling like I normally would. "She's been saying it since the beginning, it's in my nature. I'm not meant for one person. Or hell even two. I was stupid to think about a relationship with…one person."

"Ohhh." She taps the pillow, rolling her eyes in Kenz fashion. "This is a Dr. Hot-Pants and Wolfy-Pants brooding session." Falling onto her side, propping herself up on one elbow she waves me on. "Please, continue."

"This isn't a joke Kenz."

"No, it's not but it does tend to go on for a bit so mama needs comfort."

"I was kidding myself. For two and a half years now I've been bouncing back and forth. Always acting like some stupid high schooler, fooling myself into thinking that in the end at some point I'd get my happy ending…or middle…or happy something. That either I'd get the amazing, strong, do anything for you, beyond sexy noble guy. Or I'd get the gorgeous, brilliant, sweet, strong, incredible girl who made me feel…" Hesitating, I can't help sighing. "Who just made me feel."

"Damn."

"It's not in my nature to be with one person…to love."

"It's in your nature to sex people to death, that hasn't happened…lately."

"Maybe I need to…maybe I need to just stop fighting my nature."

"Whoa. Whoa. Slow the va-jay-jay."

"I mean, Dyson is amazing. He is and in a perfect Fae world he'd be perfect for me. And we'd have these perfect succu-wolf babies and I could feed off him and fuck him. I could feed off him and just let go and not have to worry about self-control. And he's strong. So strong. Like alpha male, 'I'm-gonna-save-you-all-the-time-but-I-still-do-dishes' type of guy and that's...perfect. Just perfectly perfect and when were together it's amazing just..."

"Perfect?"

"Exactly! Perfect!"

"But this is bad…?"

"And you know what else? He's fae. I don't have to worry about outliving him and…and…and he can be sweet in a really weird way that I think is a straight thing that I just don't get cause well you know, not straight. He's romantic too. And noble, so noble. And the best thing? He doesn't lie to me on every occasion he possibly can. And he doesn't jump into my bed because people order him to."

"Oooh, this is a Lauren thing."

"Don't say her name. That name is forbidden in this house."

"Forbidden?"

"Completely." I wave my hands as if wiping it away, completely worked up now. "As far as I'm concerned she doesn't exist."

"Oh. Okay."

"I hate her. Like I really, really do."

"Just two reallys?" She asks, half amused as my situation.

"That…that…female has done nothing but lie to me since we met. I mean EVERYTHING has had an underlining motive. Every time we slept together, every kiss, every touch…all of it."

"All of it?"

"All. Of. It."

"So…every long, loving stare into each other's eyes that made me sick? Every cute, not so subtle fliting that made me throw up in my mouth a little? Every not so secret touch that made me gag?"

"Yes, smartass."

"Just being thorough."

"She faked it Kenz."

"So…she said that?"

"No, not exactly that. But…"

"Bo-Bo, Baba-Bo…either she said that shit and I make good on a promise about making her disappear or the platonic love of my life is currently spiraling."

I snap. "I'm not spiraling."

"Then she said it?"

"…No…"

"Okay." She sits back up, clapping her hands together. "Listen to me very closely cause I'm about to drop some wisdom. And it's gonna pain me…a LOT cause I can't stand her."

"Kenz…"

"Lauren has done some fucked up shit. Like the whole Ash-Bang? Bitch. Lying all the time? Bitch. Cold and frigid? Double bitch. And Dyson is pretty much the perfect man, in every way. Hello, I've seen the wolf-junk. And if I was any lesser of a friend I would tell you to run to him, because let's face it D's track record is way better than Lauren's."

"This is wisdom?" I almost laugh, arms folding back over my chest as I lean against the wall. "Why aren't you?"

"Because I've seen you with both of them and God knows I've HEARD you with both of them."

"I do owe you some better earphones."

"You do, but not the point." She leans back on her hands, kicking her legs out. Her feet sliding under the pillow. "Through your very melodramatic spiral all you did was say why you should love Dyson and why you shouldn't love Lauren. Huge diff babes."

"Not…" I shake my head, avoiding her stare. "No."

"She's done some shitty-shit. But girls done some good. And she comes through in the end. But most of all what you're basing this whole hating campaign on is wrong. You vanished Bo, not even our sniffer-GPS could pick up a scent. And being real, none of us would have been able to fight Syra even if we did. Lauren didn't hesitate. She saved your life the only way she knew how and probably the only real way. Now you might not like the way she did it, but that's a different argument."

"All I…" head hanging, voice breaking as I fight the words. "All I want is to be hers Kenz and every time I turn around…she's trying to be someone else's."

"So…she's not perfect. Neither are you." She shrugs. Feet idly wiggling back and forth under the pillow slightly pulling my attention as I desperately try to avoid her gaze. "Just take a…OW!" She jerks her feet out, my body tensing.

"Spider?"

"We do NOT say spider in this house!" She fusses, sitting up on her knees as I make my way to the bed, both of us staring at the pillow. "Well pull it back."

"Why me?"

"You're the hero, I'm the sidekick."

"Yeah, you pull it back and I fight it."

"It's your bed."

My eyes narrowing. "I hope you know I haven't changed the sheets."

"Eww!" Her eyes widening. "Eww!"

"Should have pulled the pillow back sidekick." Slowly reaching out, other fist balled. "What the…fudge."

"What the fudge?"

"I'm watching my language." Dropping the pillow on the floor I pick the envelope up, not addressed to anyone.

"Decided to start charging?"

"Ass." I chuckle, starting to open it. "It's a…napkin." Eyes narrowing as I stare at this little napkin, probably from the Dal, it looks like Trick's. Single word written over it.

"What the shit is a kobayashi maru?"

"No freaking clue."

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound Yard – 9:46 a.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

"Yard time." Familiar whimsical voice curving my lips into a small smile. "I always forget it."

"I only do it when I want to remind myself."

"Do you mind?" He asks, gesturing to the empty space on the bench beside me.

"Please."

"Remind yourself of what?"

"What I am to them." Sighing, I stare at the path just in front of our feet. "What I always will be."

"I thought you were free."

"I was."

"Okay." He nods, tilting his head back as his eyes close letting the sun wash over his face. "Do you know what that moment meant for a lot of us?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You come here to remember that moment, remind yourself what we are to them. To me I come here for two reasons. One is I simply love the symmetry here." Tilting his head down, blinking several times he reaches back, using the rubber band on his wrist to pull his dreads back. Just now shoulder length, they keep making him cut them and he keeps growing them back. Funny the little ways we find to rebel. "Everything in threes. A perfect meca of trinities. Good people, good company and good conversation. Good smells, good air and good weather. Nice flowers, nice trees and nice squirrels and yes I said nice squirrels, I like to feed them."

"You have a very optimistic outlook, I'm envious."

"The second reason, I know you didn't ask but I'll tell you anyway." He glances at me, little smile. He isn't that much older than me, if at all actually but he just had this way about his that had him come off as a wise older brother. Always sweet and always optimistic. "It reminds me that we are more than this. That was are strong."

"I'm sorry, I don't follow."

"What happened to you that day, horrible. Horrible. There's two ways those of us could see what happened that day. We could see ourselves as cowards, standing by as he lashed you. Horrible. But," He tilts his head to face me. Deep, soulful brown eyes reminding me slightly of Bo's. "We can also, and do choose to see it as a defining moment. A moment in time where we, humans were stronger than them. He tried to break you Dr. Lewis and he didn't. He couldn't."

"Thank you, that's very kind Malik."

If only I could see it that way. If only I could see a lot of things the way he does.

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K Apartment – 10:19 a.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"So really, no clue what it could mean?"

"Kenz, for the ten millionth time. I don't know what it means. OR how it got under my pillow or…"

"If it's even from her?" Her brow raises, handing me a mug of coffee.

"No, I know it's from her."

"Why?"

"Well my excellent detective skills of course." I take a sip. "The napkin is from the Dal. Lauren was there the other night. Doodling all night long. And its cryptic which screams Lauren, but also smart because no one else is gonna know what this means anyway."

Nodding, she takes a sip leaning against the sink. "Look at you."

"Impressive right?"

"It was."

"Shame I figured out all that after." I drop the paper on the counter. "I know her hand writing."

"You seriously just bluffed the shit outta me."

"The ego needed it."

"Does Lauren even speak Asian?"

My brow raises, taking another sip. "Speak Asian?"

"It's valid."

"It's insensitive. There are several rich cultures that make up Asian, they are not all one Kenz."

"Um…" Her head tilts and I can't help laughing.

"I got the sensitivity lecture from Lauren a few weeks ago when I said the same thing about the GiLing menu."

"We are SO sisters from other misters."

"We are, but she does have a point."

"She does, I hate that a little."

"Me too actually." I sigh, picking the napkin back up. "All jokes aside, Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese or any other ese…I don't speak it. Maybe it wasn't meant for me. Maybe it's for someone else and…."

"Bobakins, let's not spiral before I've had another bottle of the good shit. The message is for you. Specifically you. Now you just got to figure it out."

"Note to self, pay more attention to the kinda girlfriend."

"Good advice."

"I thought so."

"Little late, but still good."

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound – 1:45 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

"Slave."

I stop short, only three steps into my lab. There standing as imposing as ever, Redivich. Six-three and one hundred and seventeen kilograms. His shirt can barely cover his biceps adequately. He stares down at me as if it pains him to do so. My distain for him wavering as concern begins to kick in, Malik.

"Fix my slave, I need labor done today."

I nod, keeping my head down more concerned with getting to Malik than insults I've heard a million times before. Walking passed me he mumbles something, slapping my ass but still I say nothing. Hearing the door close I rush over to the fourth table, pulling the curtain back.

"Thank God." I let out in a heavy sigh. He's breathing, looks okay…for the most part anyway. His eyes closed, possibly knocked unconscious. Traces of dried blood on his temple, the side of his head as well. His hair chopped at.

"I thought you were an atheist like all the other good doctors."

"You're awake."

"That's up for debate." His eyes slowly flutter open, weak smile on his face.

"You didn't answer my question."

"It was an assumptive statement, not a question."

"Your boyfriend must love arguments with you."

"Girlfriend actually." Smile at the thought of Bo vanishing just as quickly as I remember…life. "And not actually that either."

"Commitment issues?"

"You don't know the half." Slight laugh escaping as I open the bedside draw pulling out several gaze.

"What's she like?"

"Indescribable."

"Is that your way of saying you don't want to discuss her?"

"No." Flashing him a gentle smile I take a seat on the bed beside him. "She's truly indescribable. I could give you words, I'm quite verse in them if you hadn't been able to tell. She's gorgeous and kind and caring and strong, so strong. She's good, like really good. And she hasn't even reached one-tenth of her potential." Gently I begin to dab the blood away, assessing the injuries. "When she does, it's going to be amazing."

"I hope my son can find a woman like that one day."

"You have a son?"

"I do." He nods, smiling vanishing as he winces in pain. "Love that boy to death but always running around with the rift-raft."

"I thought I was the only one to use that term."

"Peas in a pod, Doctor."

"If only our pod was a little nicer." Sighing yet again, I toss several bloodied gauze onto the floor.

"Don't get greedy on me now."

"It's a personality flaw."

"I don't believe you have many of those."

"You know, and I mean this with the most respect, you remind me a little of her."

"I'll take that as a compliment considering she renders the wordsmith speechless."

I can't help smiling, his charm just like her disarming. "You'll live."

"Damn."

"Yes, I say that quite often too. But that's not the bad news."

"Oh there's more?"

"We're going to need to cut your hair."

"Not you too." He sighs, shaking his head.

"Hey, hey." Crossing the line between professional and personal I rest my hand on his. "The area has to be cleaned and stay cleaned, as well as I'm going to have to numb the area and give you some stitches. I could shave the area, but then you would have one faded area and the rest, well…not."

"I'm not vain."

"I never thought that."

"It's not a culture thing either."

"If it was, that would be fine."

"It's a family thing."

"Those are important, but so is your health."

"My granme, grandmother. It's Hattian. Her father and his father and so on always had dreads. She loved it. Weirdest thing. Hated them myself, especially when we came to the U.S. Prodominatly white school, boys picked on me. But for my love of her I kept them. Seventeen years. She died when I turned seventeen."

"I'm sorry."

"I waited six months out of respect. Then I went to the barber shop. I was gonna get me a fade. Just like Denzel. I was ready." He laughs, smiling gently as he looks down at our hands. "Sat in the chair, excited and ready. But uh, the second I heard the shaver I stopped him. I couldn't do it."

"Some things stick with you."

"And some things don't." Gently he turns his hand, wrapping it around mine. "The things that do though, they're usually worth holding onto."

"You have to weigh the pain too."

"Anything that means something brings pain at some point."

"That's…" I trail off, sighing as I gradually pull my hand from his. "That's too much to bare at times."

"Pain makes us stronger."

"I don't want to be stronger."

"Life doesn't always give us that choice Lauren."

"Please." Resolve returning as I stand back up. "Let me clean the area properly."

"I'm not stopping you Lauren, you're just not cutting my hair." With a shrug he smiles, winking at me as his eyes come to a close.

I can never have an easy patient.

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K Apartment – 4:26 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"I've given up." Kenz wines, taking a bite of pizza. "I've thought until I can't think no more. Mama needs some rest."

"It just means something…it has to right?"

"Ladies, ladies I come bearing…" Hale stops at the end of the hall, pizza box in one hand and sixpack in the other. "More of what you got."

"Pepperoni. Peppers. Mushroom. Triple cheese. Cheesy crust. Light on the sauce but not to light. All that?" She maneuvers up onto her knees, slice still in hand.

"Who you questioning Lil Mama?"

"I'm just checking."

"Pffft. C'mon now." He tosses the box on the coffee table next to the other, plopping down beside her. "Doubting my abilities."

"Not even close."

"Aren't you two adorable?"

"Stop it." She snaps, scooting slightly away from him. "She's upset because her kinda-sorta-not really-but really girlfriend left her a secret message."

"I…can't know nothing about that."

"There's nothing to know. We don't understand it." I pout, I feel myself pouting but I don't care.

"You don't understand a letter?"

"It's a napkin." Sighing, I hand it to him. His brow raising.

"I thought it was a letter."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I mean when you said secret message."

"Can you speak Japanese?"

"Of course I can."

"Really?" Kenz blurts out, guzzling a beer.

"You both can too."

"What?"

"There's this magical thing called Google. It can tell you just about anything."

"You are…" I stop, little lightbulb going off. "An absolute freaking genius. How did I not think of that!"

"How did I not?" She fusses.

"Okay…okay…" Pulling out my phone, typos aside it comes up. "It's…a Star Trek thing."

"A what? Seriously what's DP's deal with that show?"

"DP?" Hale asks.

"Doctor Hotpants a.k.a. DP."

"Eh, not your best Lil Mama."

My eyes run over the little excerpt explaining exactly what this stupid saying means. Kobayashi Maru. Some Star Trek fleet academy training exercise with a no-win scenario. Great. Wonderful. What the hell does that have to do with anything? Especially me? And why bother to sneak it into my house risking life and limb to do it. Some sick joke?

What am I supposed to do with this?

"Anything else?"

"No! Just some Star Trek trivia b.s."

"Koby-blah-blah." Sighing, I toss my phone down. "A no-win situation that can only be won by cheating."

"Huh." He lets out, nodding as he pops open his second beer.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"No what? Do you see something I don't? Cause I've just wasted an entire day trying to figure out a joke."

"Well, as a member of the Light Fae with full fealty sworn to said Light Fae and this district's current Ash, I say nothing." He shrugs. "Now as the sexy apple of Lil Mama's eye and your friend," Another shrug, taking a swig. "I'd say that it might be a pretty clever attempt at letting you know a little something."

"Which would be?"

"Well, again as a member of the Light Fae with-."

She whacks his arm. "Yada. Yada. Fast-forward to the important part."

"It might seem to an objective outsider that she's trying to tell you in her patented geeky way that she's stuck between a big ass rock and a hard place. Some might say a no-win situation." Leaning back he kicks his feet up. "Only way to win?"

"Shitting all over the rules." Kenz whacks his arm again, leaning back nearly against him. "Just what my Bo-ba-kals is known for."

Huh.

My yes fall down to the napkin again, leaning forward and stealing a beer. Mind running like that cute little chubby hamster on the wheel. No-win shitshow. Cheating to win. Shit on the rules. All classic Bo moves, but…I don't know.

Could it really be that?

Could she really be telling me to fight this?

No.

She said…what she says and does sometimes are very different.

I could still run…

My eyes wandering to the giggling duo, over the walls of the crack-shack as Kenz loves to call it. It's not much but it's home. They make it home. Attention moving back to the napkin, currently the only thing I have of hers. She's home.

It would be easy…

But I don't want to.

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound – 7:48 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

"You're supposed to be gone." He says with a smile, eyes fluttering to half-mass.

"I have some time."

"Shouldn't you be cozying up to that girlfriend of yours?"

"I wish." Smiling, I put my book down. Shifting in the chair to face him. "I'm forbidden."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, but thank you." I nod.

"How did you meet?"

"Here." I laugh. "She was defiant, as always. That's just part of who she is. I was asked to examine her. The rest? Well, it's been history as they say."

"You're in love." He smiles.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Little bit."

"I wish I wasn't." I admit, folding my leg over the other.

"You don't mean that."

"Occasionally, I do." Nodding, arms folding over my chest as I settle into the chair. "I hate myself for that, but sometimes I think it would be easier for us both if I didn't."

"It wouldn't."

"No?"

"No." Shaking his head, he pushes himself up. "Because she's in love with you."

"How do you know that?"

"I can tell."

"You've never met her."

"No, but I have a certain sense about these things."

"Do you?" I almost laugh.

"How you light up when you speak about her, it's in your eyes. You smile, your demeanor changes and you just seem different. Anyone can see that, but looking into your eyes they get this glisten. Can see a lot in someone's eyes."

"I will…" I'm cut off as the door flies open. Redivich barreling in, clearly inebriated. "Sir." I go to stand as he nears, only to have his hand grab my shoulder and shove me down into the chair. "You don't stand in my presence. Remember that."

"Of course." I nod, looking down at his shoes. "My apologies."

"I want him. Now. Release him."

"He is unfit and…" His hand grabs the back of my neck, jerking me forward. "He needs rest."

"I'm okay." Malik interrupts.

"I will not sign off." His grip tightening, Malik rustling in the bed.

"I'm okay. I'm okay really. Ready to work."

"Look at that." He lets me go, hand raising to backhand me but instead of following through, he just laughs. "Silly humans. So amusing."

"It's okay." Malik mouths to me, with a nod.

No, this isn't okay.

None of this is okay.


	7. C6: If Anyone Asks

**AN: WARNING -** There is a scene (#2) that may be difficult for some to read. It is a lightly-aggressive scene that hints at sexual assault. **\- WARNING**

CHAPTER SIX: If Anyone Asks…

 **.**

 **(SYRA'S POV)**

 **.**

Sound of my heels echoing down the hall, not quite the battle horn I remember but has a nice ring to it. Two towering shifters standing guard outside her door. Dead stare as they amusingly think they pose the slightest inconvenience. Nails descending, lazy flick of my wrist and the two drop to my feet. Blood splatter across my face an inconsequence.

Pushing the door open a slumbering Sasha jumps from her bed. All that fight dissipating the second she sees me. "Pathetic." Eyes running over every inch of her body as she stands there in front of me with herself, head bowed. "You resemble a slave."

"It's been taken care of."

"Like the last time it was taken care of?"

"Lauren had…"

"Lauren?" Disgusted chuckle ripping through my chest. "We refer to pets by name now? Oh how you have fallen."

"I assure you I am perfectly fine. And Bo has been taken care of. She will not be a problem."

"No Sasha, she won't."

Her head raises. "Meaning?"

"Meaning I've taken care of it since you have proven yourself unable of handling such a simple task."

"Bu-but I had promised Lauren that…"

"Silence!" Eyes transitioning as I feel my displeasure turning to anger, sound of my voice causing her head to bow again. "This human slave, Lauren as she is called so repetitively by you is nothing. She is a means to an end. A piece of my plan that I need for the time being. That is all. Do you realize how much I have done to sure assure you got this position handed to you? How far back I had to begin arranging this?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Apologies. Naming slaves. Ha." Snorting I have to look away in disgust. "Weakness drips from you."

"I am not weak."

"Then prove it."

"How?"

"Prove to me beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is nothing more than a pet."

* * *

 **.**

 **Lauren's Apartment – 5:18 a.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

I don't remember when I stopped believing in things, I just turned around one day and realized I didn't anymore. I stopped believing in the notion of a deity and faith, not that I necessarily believe they don't exist, I just stopped acknowledging them. I stopped believing in people, human and Fae alike because well for as many differences as there is, they share a single predisposition to cruelty. For just as many wrongs as the Fae have done to me, there's an equal amount of human counterparts…my own list of grievances for them.

Just one day I turned around and I was someone different. A reflection of someone I used to be. No. A reflection gives me too much credit. A shadow is a better descriptor. Yes, that's what I've become, a shadow.

Drawing in a deep breath, my eyes linger through the misted glass at the faded bruise covering my shoulder where he had grabbed me. I suppose it isn't so bad, after all the shirt can hide it. The last thing I need is Sasha's attentive gaze to catch a glimpse, the only one who would pay the price for that would be Malik.

My eyes falling to the porcelain or more accurately the drain within it as I reach behind myself, fastening my bra. Closing my eyes I take two more breaths and count to ten attempting to shove off the overwhelming feeling of dread that has plagued me every morning since I can remember. It was bearable, nearly gone when I knew there was a possibility to see Bo. Now with no possibility, it makes itself painfully present.

Making my way through the doorway my feet stop short, knees locking at what I find awaiting me. Panic coming in violent waves as I find myself quite unsure of what I should do. My hands folding in front of myself as I bow my head, only half concerned with the fact that Sasha stands stoic blocking my neatly laid clothes on the edge of my equally neatly made bed. My only concern is why she's standing here.

More accurately, my only concern is why she's standing here looking the way she does.

Rapidly my heartrate picks up, slight nausea resonating in the pit of my stomach. Over the past several days I have become quite well-versed in the language of Sasha, granted more out of necessity than curiosity, but well-versed none the less. Her moods, her facial expression and each mannerism. Although standing here now I find myself confronted with one I have yet to see and it is unlike anything I have encountered before. Her eyes void of color, body still but not quite calm and her face void of all emotion.

Swallowing at the dryness in my throat I give another bow of my head before taking another hesitant step forward. "I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you. Allow me to grab a towel or even my clothes if I could…" My words trail as I attempt to respectfully gesture to my clothes behind her. "I-is there a problem, ma'am?"

The constant blank stare abruptly forcing me to remember just how exposed I am. My hands beginning to tremble. For several heartbeats I'm not exactly sure why, not until I become aware that the little voice whispering to me in the back of my mind making the hair one the nape of my neck rise is not mine at all, but hers. It's her voice whispering every carefully placed word in every conversation we've shared suddenly setting. How many times…how many ways she emphasized what I would be giving up if I agreed to our arrangement.

Constant pounding in my chest nearly drowning out a broken, escaping whisper. A plea for her not to do this, but without a word she grabs me with one hand and tosses me onto my bed. One hand laying on my chest as the other reaches between us, gripping my knee as she pushes my legs open. "S-Sasha please…" Weakly I whimper, strength within gone without much of a fight.

My mind races, thoughts escaping me. Nothing coherent sticking…nothing other than a single question. Not why. But rather where has my fight gone. I was never a fighter in the traditional sense, but I had fight. I survived so much. I fought anyway I could through it all. Although now…I don't seem to have any at all.

Her hand comes over my mouth, just enough pressure to silence me. Staring up into her eyes I find no anger nor excitement. There is no fear nor joy. There is nothing and perhaps that is what terrifies me most of all, not knowing what is driving her. Not knowing what the proper course of action against this, whatever this is. If I just could understand it, I could figure it out and if I could figure it out then maybe I could do…something. Is it submission she desires? Is it a struggle she hopes for? Is it fear she wants? If I knew I could give it to her and then maybe, just maybe this would end here.

In my life I've faced a great deal of loss, witnessed some of the most gruesome killings there has been to be seen and have nearly died myself several times over, but I have always been able to keep my wits for the single fact of having knew my place in it all. I knew my place therefore I knew my proper course of action and how to achieve the ultimate goal.

Now…I know nothing.

No matter how many breaths I attempt to take or how much I try to evaluate the situation there is nothing to help calm me enough to rationalize this. I have no answer because I don't understand the equation. Ironically enough it is within this moment of complete and utter lack of understanding that I let go of it all. Instinct taking over control, every ounce of strength within I can muster I push up against her, attempting to kick my legs up.

It all proves futile, a single slap across the face and I fall still. The single blow delivering enough pain to render my entire body motionless, tears escaping from the corners of my eyes running down my cheeks until the mix with the blood slipping from my lips. My eyes focusing on the wall as she pushes my head to the side so I can no longer look up at her.

Her hands move to my thighs, gripping them tightly as she pulls me down the mattress. Small, soft hands feel like nothing less than sandpaper as they run over my skin. Down my stomach, skipping over…me…to find my thighs. And then back up again. My body tensing further, displeasing her as she slaps me again. This time I must lose consciousness momentarily because the next moment I realize she is on top of me. Her weight suddenly crushing.

My eyes shut tightly trying to breathe. Mind desperate to escape this so I attempt to focus on anything. Math. Science. Anger. Fear. Anger. Math. None of it sticks. Only Bo. First it's a fantasy of her rushing in to save me as she had so many times before. Then slowly my mind wanders to every time we spent together. A horrible thought passing through my mind. Just keep my eyes closed and think of Bo, it'll pass. It'll make it bearable. I can survive bearable, that is what my life is after all…bearable.

Then there's a spark, a memory. If I could just let my body go numb, completely deadweight I could get the advantage just as I had done several times before with Bo. Doing just that, I let myself fall still and calm and she does the same. Slowly she pulls back a little, head tilting to the right as she attempts to understand the change. Leaning up a little more she gives me just enough room, hiking my legs back I kick out with every single ounce of strength left within myself. Sasha flying backward into the dresser.

No second to be wasted I lunge from the bed, ripping open the ajar door before running down the stairs as fast as I possibly can. Unfortunately it isn't fast enough as I find myself being thrown into the wall before I go tumbling down the remaining stairs. Pushing myself onto my back I find her staring down at me from the stares. A path already begun, I kick back at the floor sliding painfully across the floor.

Calmly she walks down the stairs coming toward me almost taunting me. I manage to take the curve making it around the couch but she hops over it so easily. She's on top of me, taking every attempted blow I deliver. Until she isn't. Standing up, hands wrapped around my wrists she jerks me up to my feet before throwing me through the air, slamming into the wall right by the door. Keeping in stride she makes her way to me, but this time she just stares down at me.

"Go ahead. Run." Her words nearly mistaken for an order. "Go. I won't stop you." She jerks the door open, lock ripped out from the wall. "Run Lauren. Run as far as you can, but if you do…Bo won't survive the day." My eyes shifting to the doorway. Freedom once again just inches away, yet seemingly never seeming further. With a whimpered laugh I push myself onto my ass, looking up at her in defeat. "Stupid." She growls, displeased. "Stupid." Leaning down she grabs me by the shoulders pulling me up before slamming me into the wall.

"P-please…"

"Please what?" She snarls.

"Leave Bo."

Snarling, her hand wraps around my jaw. "Listen to me very closely stupid girl," She leans in, lips over my ear. "If anyone…and I mean anyone asks…" A growl encompasses her words. "I finished this."

And just like that she lets me crumple to the floor like the broken mess I am.

No further words. No further growls. No further anything. Just as calmly as I had found her standing in my bedroom she walks through the doorway leaving me alone with only my sobs.

* * *

 **.**

 **Unknown – 7:14 a.m.**

 **(SYRA'S POV)**

 **.**

Morning sacrifices are the absolute worst.

Insistent chanting continues for the thirty-sixth straight minute. The wining and whimpering for the six hooded human whores only adding to my migraine. Chanting monks continuing their bullshit, circling them three times before stopping behind them.

"Can we get on with this?"

They continue their bullshit for another six minutes before falling silent, yanking the hoods from the human's heads. All so…fleshy and weak. Breath drawn of disgusting human filth air. Stomach turning at the thought.

"Be done with it already."

Lack of pleasure slightly surprising to myself as they pull the blades from their sleeves, slicing open their throats with enough strength their heads nearly sever. Little life pleasures like this used to be amusing. Now…nothing. I'm reduced to finding slaughter trivial.

"Is it done?" I ask, answering the annoying vibration gripped in my hand.

(It's done.)

"Then I have another head to add to my collection?"

(Minimum violence was necessary. But the point was clear.)

"I thought I was abundantly clear I wanted there to be suffering."

(You said you had wanted her to back off. She will.)

"Next time I say I want someone to back off, that means I want you to bring me their fucking head."

(Understood. Shall I visit the doctor next?)

"No. I have another incapable imbecile taking care of it."

(O-.)

"I'm done." Sighing I throw the phone down watching it shatter into several pieces. Everything is so fragile. Turning around to I find two more of Sasha's supposed guards, the two she had assigned to the human. "Now you two, go make sure your boss has did something right for once. And if she didn't, make sure to take care of it."

"Understood." They bow…how common.

* * *

 **.**

 **Lauren's Apartment – 9:52 a.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

I could make a run for it…I couldn't run to Bo...but I could run.

Where?

I don't have anywhere to run to.

Leaning up against the wall where she left me, my knees pressed up to my chest as my arms wrap around them I silently cry. My throat too snore to cry any louder. Swelling having already settled in. Every inch of my body aching, screaming in pain but still I remain still and silent. My eyelids excruciatingly heavy, but I can't bring myself to close my eyes. My stomach in knots, but I don't think I have the strength to throw up if I needed to.

"Lauren are…what happened?" Dyson does his growl thing as he stops short, dropping to my side. He goes to reach out and I can't help the way I jerk back. "Lauren, what happened?" Repeating himself, another growl escaping him.

"Y-you need to leave."

"No." He snaps. "This done." He orders, bringing himself to his feet, glancing around the apartment. Presumably to find something to cover me in. He does have his moments of chivalry. "This has gone too far."

"Dyson…"

"Too far. I shouldn't have gone along with this. This is…" Trailing off he looks down at me with this pity that ignites a rage inside of myself. "If she finds out I let this happen to you."

"Shut up." I snap, his last sentence breaking my final sliver of resolve. How selfish of him. His concern so superficial. "Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!" Every syllable an excruciating struggle, but the dumbfounded look he stares at me with only makes me angrier. "I hate you! I hate this place! You were supposed to help us and look!" He drops back to his knees, attempting to touch me. "You did this! You convinced me I could trust you!"

"It's over Lauren. It's over. You're coming with me."

"No. She isn't." The faintly familiar voice of my guard only breaking me a little further. My eyes closing as I attempt to withhold a whimper…as I attempt not to see what's coming next as I hear Dyson growl. It takes but a second to hear things breaking, body tensing at the mixture of sounds.

I never should have been in this position…never should have agreed to this.

Trust is nearly as deadly as naivety and what is trust if not naive.

* * *

 **.**

 **Unknown – 1:18 p.m.**

 **(SYRA'S POV)**

 **.**

The baby shifter's repetitive groan wares on my patience just the monks' chanting does. His eyes come to open but his attention doesn't immediately fall to me, but rather on two of my friends. The two large beasts, one on either side of myself staring him down waiting for me to allow them a snack.

"Ever heard of a hell hound?" I ask, moving from between them. Circling him, nails slicing through the flesh on his back. "They are extraordinary creatures. I assure you of this." Coming to a stop in front of him, feeling whimsical I grab his belt, pulling him toward me. "People say their eyes are glowing yellow, their fur a charred black from the flames, their purpose no more than to guard the entrance of hell." Ripping his belt from his pants, I laugh as he attempts to growl at me. "Truth is their eyes are the shade of blood. The color of both its eye and coat is from the lives it's taken, the black being for the souls of course." My hand running up his blood chest to his throat, wrapping around it. "The real reason for their existence is whatever I tell them to do." Squeezing just a little he whimpers, earning a slight laugh from myself. "It pays to have a special relationship with Hades."

"You're insane."

"Quite the contrary tiny shifter, I am the sanest person you'll ever meet. I can see things clearer than any Faw has ever before."

"What you're planning…"

Laughing, slightly amused I let go of him. "What am I planning?"

"You won't get away with it."

"If that is true, then how come I am?"

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound – 3:03 p.m.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

Tender hands grip the ledge of the sink with a wavering strength, mind struggling to remember exactly why my hands would be weakened, but I suppose breaking my fall more than once is enough to render them useless. Struggling to take a painless breath I look up into the mirror, evaluating the damage once more. Swelling around my left eye showing no sign of stopping, small split of my lip no longer bleeding but far from comfortable.

Could have been worse I suppose.

Bruises on my arms varying in size and color as I'm sure the ones beneath my clothing does. I'm not brave enough to check on those yet, but if I'm judging solely off the level of pain radiating from several areas of my body, they aren't any better.

Closing my eyes I count to ten before gaining enough composure to pull the bathroom door back open. Sigh escaping as I find Hale sitting at my desk, face buried in some folder I'm sure he shouldn't be flipping through.

"Took ya long enough!" He laughs, turning the page. "Did you try the tacos on fifth because every time I try those…it's a wrap?"

"N-no. I haven't."

"Eh, you ain't missin' much unless you enjoy spending your night in the bathroom." He lets out another laugh. "It was easy to get in here, what happened to your guards?"

"She…they…since Bo is out of the picture now, less need."

"Bo ain't outta the pic Doc, you know her. She'll be back to chasing ya in-." He stops midsentence, turning in the chair to see the sight that is me. "Wh-Lauren what the hell happened?" He drops the folder, standing up. "Give me their name. I will grab Dyson and…"

"Do nothing. You can't."

"The hell we can't."

"Okay." I just nod.

"Who did it Lauren?"

"The Ash. The Ash did this to me." Deafening silence follows my words. "Ah. Guess you won't be doing anything about this."

"We're going to get you out Doc."

"No, you won't." I shrug, walking passed him to grab the file he was looking at. "But thank you for the sentiment."

* * *

 **.**

 **Unknown – 4:25 p.m.**

 **(SYRA'S POV)**

 **.**

Baby shifter starts to awake again, having passed out from the pain. Smirking I linger back in the shadows, allowing Lykris to have his fun. It's slightly amusing. The shifter screams out as Lykris pulls a blade from his side.

"There was once a priest who fears no man, nor demon nor God himself. He was highly revered by his peers, but not one knew the darkness that laid within him. That swallowed his soul."

"Who are you?"

"On the night of one of the most Holy festivals, he held a sermon where the whole town had come, and when it was over everyone flocked to praise his hollow words but as it struck midnight...he slaughtered every single one of them, before working his way through the town finding everyone who was to sick, to old, to young...and slaughtered them."

"Who are you?"

"He then dragged every one of them to the middle of town, bound each and every one of their feet together and hung them upside down, arms dangling freely as what blood was left of them poured out into the road. It died the sand red there was so much of it, and the most humorist part is that he hung them from the structures he had them build themselves...told them it was for a school for the church."

"Why am I here?!" He growls trying to get up but the restraints prove too much for him. So sad.

"Someone had asked him why, not why he did it but why be a priest, one who practiced for so many years and his reply was simply-"

"He thought it was amusing." I finish for him.

"You remember the story."

"I remember the answer."

The door opens, rolling my eyes as the tiny Blood King comes rush in. "What is the meaning of this? This is against all Fae law."

"No, it's not. He trespassed and was violent, we have every right to protect ourselves old man. I even called you to notify you I had your mutt."

"Stop with these games Syra." He demands as if his voice holds authority here. "What are you doing?"

"Now why would I ever tell you that?"

"Because you live for the amusing things in life and to you there is nothing more amusing then watching me try and stop you."

"Oh...you sound so bitter." Laughing, I emerge from the shadows. Walking toward him I grab the chain holding his beloved dog up, a jerk of my wrist and the chair breaks sending him to the floor.

"What happens when the day comes that I actually stop you?"

"I am pure evil, baby. The poster child for Dark Fae. There is NONE greater than me. There is NO stopping me and if you haven't learned that by now...I feel I should end your miserable excuse for a life now and find myself a new toy to play with."

"I WILL find a way to kill you, once and for all."

"No, no you won't, but you're more than welcome to try love." Laughing I make my way to the door, stopping because I deem it slightly amusing. "Hades sends his regards by the way."

I don't even make it ten steps down the hall before my slight amusement vanishes. Little Sasha storming up the hall in a little huff. "Another hissy fit so soon?"

"Don't you ever send someone to check on me again! I am not a child."

"So glad you could join us. A little late though, we've finished."

"Don't play your little cutesy game with me."

"I'm not playing I'm naturally cute."

"I am not a child I do not need someone looking in on me."

"Just wanted to make sure you did what you were supposed to. I didn't realize you'd get so butt hurt about it. BTW very nice job on the Doc...Although I said to make a point not use her as a punching bag but hey what ever gets you off."

"I'm sick of your shit Syra, back off. You're getting sloppy and you're gonna end up fucking us both over in the end."

"Sloppy?"

"Taking Dyson out of Lauren's apartment and bringing him here? Sloppy. Bringing Trick here? Sloppy. Having your errand boy Lykris come to MY office in front of everyone. Sloppy."

"Aww, did your little feelings get hurt."

"Do not fuck with me or-"

"Or?" Words barely out of my mouth before I have my hands wrapped around her head, thumbs pressing against her cheekbones, micro fractures created with each little bit of pressure. "Never threaten me baby sister, it will not turn out well for you."

"Y-yes."

"So pathetic." I let her go, rolling my eyes at the whole exchange. So unnecessary. "Go find your favorite meat-popsicle, motivate her to work on the project. Sooner this is done, the sooner I can relax. Oh but first," I glance her over. "Clean yourself up."


	8. C7: Bury a Friend

Chapter Seven: Bury a Friend

 **.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

In and out Bo…in and out.

Shortest pep talk in history but it's kept me motivated. Quick steps down the alley, to the door, through the door and then through the bar. Fists clenching and unclenching trying to keep myself on task. "Look, I'm not back I just needed to get…" My words trail off finding Dyson and Trick huddled around the fireplace. Nothing new there, but what does grab my attention is the back of the blonde's head sitting on the couch. It's weird I can recognize her even from this angle. "Sorry. Didn't realize you were busy. I didn't see any guards."

"It's fine Bo." Trick mumbles out, clearly not meaning it. Quickly he rushes over to me, keeping me from moving in any further. My eyes remaining on her, two tiny steps to the left trying to get a better angle as she turns her head a little more the other way. Very mature Lauren. "What do you want?"

"Sorry to interrupt." I snap, looking down at him.

"It's just not a good time."

"Yeah, yeah. Never seems like a good time for me." Sighing, my eyes shift back to her. "The thing you were supposed to give Kenz, I'm here to collect. Final item of business Gramps. Then I'm taking a little trip."

"To where?" Dyson asks.

"Away."

"Why?"

"Need to think." My words trailing, only half paying attention as I sidestep passed Trick. "Lauren?" Curiosity and irritation creating a mixture that couples with hurt at the fact she didn't so much as tilt her head when I said I was leaving. "Lauren." I repeat, finally getting closer. "Oh my God. Who did this?" Heart racing as I rush to her, dropping to my knees in front of her. "Who did this?" My voice breaks as I go to reach up to cup her cheeks, but my hands fall to her knees. The bruising a clear sign I shouldn't touch her.

"Bo." Trick calls me.

"Who did this?" Repeating myself, she refuses to answer…to look at me. I turn to them, but they both look away. My heart aching at the very sight of her. "Lauren, baby…" Words whispered, slowly I reach up brushing the hair from her face to get a better view of the damage. "I'm going to kill them."

"Bo…" Her voice soft and raspy, the light bruise on her neck obviously having an effect.

"I thought she was property of the Ash. I thought part of that was protection." I stand, sniffling back my own tears of anger and…something. Stepping back from her I look the two over who still refuse to meet my stare. "What the hell are the guards for then?"

"Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down Dyson. Look at her! Have you seen her?!"

"Bo, please."

"Where was this Ash? She is supposed to be protecting her. She took her from me. That's part of the job isn't it? Or does her concern only extend to when people want to sleep with her?" Still they say nothing. "And you! You're a damn cop. Why aren't you doing something? Where's your outrage? Do your damn job!"

"I can't."

"Can't?" I almost laugh, taking a step toward him. "Bullshit. Do something."

"I said I can't." He snaps, standing up from leaning against the fireplace.

"And I said bullshit!" Taking another step, nearly in his face now. "Are you that petty that you'd let your dislike for her-?"

"I can't do anything!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I can't. Not everyone owes you an explanation Bo."

"You do. When this happens…you sure as hell do."

"And where were you?" He snaps, knocking the fight right out of me.

"He couldn't do anything Bo, neither could you." Lauren's shaky voice has a little louder than before, pulling my attention. "It was her who did this."

I snap, without thinking. "Who?"

"Sasha."

"Oh." It's all I can let out, fists clenching as my heart races at a new pace. Jaw clenching as I try that counting to ten bullshit, but my eyes fall on Lauren…on the damage covering her and I can't calm. I can't think. All I can do is feel and what I feel the most of at the moment is anger.

"Stop her…please…she will kill her without a thought." Lauren's words to them fading in the distance as I make it into the alley before Dyson manages to catch up.

Jumping in front of me, hands up but he's smart enough not to touch me. "Think about this."

"I'm done thinking. All I've done is think Dyson, and look where it's gotten me. I think it's time I do what I feel for once."

"And what's that Bo? Get into a fight you can't win?"

"I can win."

"No you can't. Sasha is ten times more powerful than anything you've faced. She would kill you without breaking a sweat."

"Have you seen her?!"

"I have." He nods. "I was the one who was there after it happened Bo, not you."

"How…how dare you throw that in my face."

"And how dare you accuse me to be so petty as to wish this on her? I was the one who brought her here."

"Why not to me?"

"Bo, this is something you can't get involved in."

"Too late."

"No, it's not. Walk away now, let us handle this."

"Do you really think I would think that's an option?"

"You don't understand what this is, you can't even begin to."

"No, it's you who doesn't understand Dyson, if she is involved in this then so am I."

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound –1:15 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

' _Why did you do that…?'_ Anger bubbling over as the porcelain within my grasp crumbles. _'Why did you do that…?'_

' _Because it's what you are._

 _Must we always have this futile debate?'_

' _This is not what I am.'_ Staring into the mirror, my displeasure only growing.

' _We know how this debate goes.'_

' _I am not this person.'_

' _You are.'_

' _I don't want to be.'_

' _People in Hel want mercy._

 _Life isn't fair.'_

' _I am not this person.'_

' _The slave will never forget this._

 _She will never forgive this.'_

' _Don't say that.'_

' _I'm not saying anything._

 _You're saying it.'_

' _Semantics. Regardless, she'll forgive me.'_

' _Syra is right, you've lost your way._

 _Concerned with the inconsequential feelings of a slave._

 _A human one at that.'_

' _It's called growth. Evolution. We must all evolve. Become better.'_

' _If you are so evolved…_

 _Why am I still here…_

 _Why am I still an issue for you…'_

"I can be better."

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K Apartment – 3:18 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"You've got this." I whisper to myself, hand on my doorknob. "You've got this."

"BO!" Lauren nearly screams as I open the door, my eyes widening. She cuts herself off, finger to her lips as she starts to giggle. "Sorry!"

"What in the world?" I can't help but to laugh as I step in, lazily pushing the door closed. Small smile curving my lips at the sight of her sheepish giggles, until the actual sight of her sets in and guilt takes over. "How much have you had to drink?"

"Well, there was the three in the Dal before I was forced here. Then the other two I had downstairs. Oh, oh and then you were gone a little while so two more and this…" She lifts the beer in her hand, giving me this adorable thinking face. "Six?"

"That's eight woman. Have you gone…?" Rushing to her side, I pull the half empty bottle from her hand. "Gimmie that."

"If you wanted some, you could have just asked."

Sighing, I put the beer down on the nightstand before moving back down the bed. Shaking my head at the hints of hilarity in it all I pull her shoes off, and then her socks earning a giggle. So ticklish. "Lift your butt." I order, pulling at the sheet but she just sort of wiggles down the bed. "Lift your butt." Repeating, I try to remain serious but all I can do is smile at her goofy smile. After another two attempts I finally get the sheet out from under her. Noticing as always she has an undershirt underneath scrub top, sitting down next to her I start to hesitate. The hem of her top taken between my thumb and index, but I don't go any further until she nods, sitting up just enough for me to pull it off. "There you go."

My eyes meet hers and for the first time in a long time I want to look away. Shame and guilt taking a hold of every inch of me. My lips part to tell her that I should have been there, but I'm thrown off by the sudden change in her aura. Another goofy smile curves her lips as her arms drape over my shoulders. Her lips make their way down my jaw to my neck before I can pull back.

"God, you are so beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful."

"W-what?"

"You always look so beautiful. In the night or the morning. When you're sleeping or thinking or anything else…you're just so unfairly beautiful."

"Unfairly, huh?" I can feel my cheeks flush, eyes dropping down to her lap.

"I love you. I mean I really love you. Big time head over heels in love with you. Love songs and poetry and all of that Bo." She nods, smiling the whole time and while I can't begin to describe what it means to me to finally hear these words…I know she doesn't know what she's saying. Not really. "I never said it because of well…everything. Our lives are so complicated. I do though Bo. I do."

Her hands come to my cheeks, guiding my face up to hers. She leans in, brushing my nose with hers earning a smile from myself as my eyes close. It's something I have done a time or two before, but this is the first for her. It would be so easy to kiss her, to give in and take advantage of the moment. The way her aura is burning at the moment…I don't know how I'm hesitating honestly. And its not like sex is foreign to us. But now…it would feel…it wouldn't be right.

Her forehead rests against mine as she whispers. "I miss you so much."

"You need to sleep."

"I need you."

"You need sleep." I repeat, letting out a breath I didn't know I had been holding as I open my eyes. "You don't know what you're saying."

"Stay with me." She pleads as I move to stand, the vulnerability in her voice breaking my heart. "J-just hold me."

"Lauren…"

"It's ironic."

"W-what?"

"You're always afraid with me, afraid to hurt me." Her hand takes mine, thumb brushing over the top of my hand. "And I never feel safer than when I am with you."

My lips part once again but nothing comes out, instead I just give her a soft smile and climb up the bed beside her. Pulling the sheet up I slide in, wrapping my arms around her as she snuggles as close to me as she can, her face buried in my neck. It's far from comfortable but I don't dare move a muscle. I don't want to. Haunting realization sneaking in as she drifts off, this might actually be the last time I get to hold her.

…

 **89 Days Ago**

…

"Oh God this is awful." Lauren cringes, looking away from the T.V. resting her head on the back of the couch. "Awful."

"It's not that bad." Desperately I try not to laugh. "Look, Kenz fell asleep." Gesturing to a snoring Kenz with my foot, I shift a little closer to her.

"Another reason why I question her sanity." She jokes, earning a playful push. Really it's just an excuse to touch her. "Oh, oh God he's cutting his own foot off." She turns into me, cheek brushing against mine. Her aura starts to change from a two to a four and I find myself holding my breath as she tilts her head back. Our eyes meeting, her lips curving to a smile as I begin leaning in. "What was that?" She lets out at the loud thump against the window.

"Higher Power's way of reminding me my luck sucks."

"Sorry." She smiles softly, glancing around the apartment. Her hand resting on my chest as she scoots a little closer. "I just get a little jumpy with these movies."

"Then why watch it?" Irritation starting to get the better of me. Why did everything with her have to be so hard?

"Because I wanted to spend time with you." Tops of her cheeks pinkening slightly, she looks back at the T.V. sinking down slightly as her arms wrap around my waist. Irritation vanishing, draping my arm over her back. Fingertips idly playing with the hem of her shirt, my eyes on her face as she struggles to keep watching the movie. I think she might have gotten embarrassed admitting what she did or she might have sensed my frustration. Not sure which, but she's determined not to look away now.

I should apologize for being an ass, try to explain I don't mean it. I didn't. Not really. Sometimes it just happens. Starting to say something she gives in, burring her face in my stomach earning a giggle. Another thump from outside causing her to jump slightly. "It's okay, I'd never let anything happen to you."

…

Memory drifting away at the feeling of her shift in my embrace. She whimpers softly, body tensing until I start brushing her hair. Slowly the whimpers stop replaced by a soft snore. "Guess I broke that promise, huh?" I let out to myself, bruise around her eye stealing my attention.

…

 **52 Days Ago**

…

"Have you ever wondered what life would be like if a single event in your life was changed?" Lauren asks, looking through her microscope as I turn in her chair, idly flipping through some folder I have no intention of reading.

"Just one?"

"A single event."

"Uh, I don't know. Would you?" Words out of my mouth before I can stop them. She looks up, seriousness written all over her face now. "Sorry. I didn't think. I…"

Forcing a polite smile, she comes to stand at the other side of the desk. "I asked first."

"It's silly."

"I'm sure it's not."

"Really, it's stupid. You don't want to hear it."

"Of course I do, I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"I would…I'd change the fact that Nadia got cursed."

"W-what?" She almost takes a step back.

"For you of course, not like I had a thing for her. Not that she wasn't pretty. And soooo not that I was checking her out. Wow that took a weird turn." Shaking my head, looking back down at the folder. "Word vomit aside there," I nod. "I'd change that."

"Why?"

"Cause if she didn't get cursed then you'd never have lost her. You'd never have to experience that. And you'd be free and not waiting on Hale's replacement to get sworn in to find out what's going to happen. I mean overall your life would be completely better. Better in every way really."

After a long silence I look up to find her studying me, eyes narrowed slightly. "Not every way."

…

Responsibility beginning to set in, I begin to realize how long it's been since I had come up just to check on her. Remembering that I had left Dyson downstairs waiting on me. With a sigh I carefully slide from the bed trying my best not to wake her. Almost the second I stand she becomes restless again and if it were another time and another place I'd take pride in that, but now I just hate it.

…

 **18 Days Ago**

…

"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, handing over the plate of freshly diced peppers.

"Nope."

"Really?" My brow raising, taking a step back as she drops the peppers into the pan.

"Of course."

"Wh-what exactly are we doing?"

"Well, you're standing there ogling me as you normally do. I on the other hand am cooking us dinner. So if I had to venture a guess, this would be a date of some sort."

"Ha." I chuckle nervously, setting my glass of wine down as quickly as I picked it up. "You can be an ass sometimes."

"Dry humor," She shrugs. "Not for everyone."

"Look at you on a roll." Clearing my throat, I look at the food as if she doesn't have it under control. "I meant are we like a we?"

"A we is defined as more than one person, so I suppose yes we are a we."

"Lauren, I mean…are we dating?"

"Y-yes." She nods. "Yes I suppose we are."

"What I'm trying to get at is, what way are we dating?"

"There's more than one way to date?" She shifts uncomfortably, picking up her own glass now. "Interesting."

"I just want to…"

"Have a classification?"

"No. Maybe. Well yeah…I guess…I mean if you do…"

"Bo." Sighing, she takes another drink. "Well, I suppose that I am not completely sure myself."

"But if you had to be?"

"If I had to be then, well…" She turns, fiddling with the spatula in the pan. "You and Dyson are dating as well, I guess if a classification had to be made then it would be dating in the same terms as that."

"Oh."

…

"Where are you going?" Her sleepy voice stops me just as I reach the door.

"Shh, just downstairs."

"What happened?"

"Nothing. I just, I left you in Dyson's care for a little while and it obviously wasn't smart cause you ended up drinking half the bar."

"Oh God you didn't…" She shoots upright. "No of course you didn't or you'd be dead."

"Gee, thanks for that vote of confidence."

"Bo I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, I gotta go downstairs. Dyson and Kenz are waiting."

"Why are you so…?"

"So what?" I snap, arms folding over my chest.

"Nothing." She waves me off, shaking her head as she starts trying to stand.

"No, now's not the time to get shy. Why am I so what?" I take two steps toward the bed, even angry now I can't help being over protective, worrying she might lose her balance. "So what? Tell me Lauren. So what?"

"So damn difficult!" She yells and before I can have a comeback for her she's pulls me into a kiss. My first instinct to pull away…for so so many reasons, but instead I find myself pulling her closer.

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound – 5:48 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

"Ugh. You." Sighing as I turn to find Lykris lingering in the doorway of my office, watching me change. "Has your little pea brain finally stopped working?" Finishing pulling my tank-top on I turn to face him, blank stare on his face. "Dark Fae cannot be here."

"I was careful."

"Careful as a stumbling oaf. When I have to explain this, what am I to say?"

"You are the Ash of the Light, you don't explain to anyone…other than Syra of course."

"And the Elders?"

"Is that a threat?"

"A threat?"

"You threaten Syra?"

"What are you even…?" Before I can finish he's in front of me, spinning me around and slamming me on my desk.

"Now is not the time to waver in our commitment Sasha. IF I so much as think you are thinking of the Elders, I will rip your heart from your chest and feed it too you while Syra watches."

"That'd be pretty difficult."

"What?" Snapping, her jerks me up. His hand wrapped around my throat.

"My commitment is not wavering, you can assure her."

Leaning in, he whispers. "I don't believe you."

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K – Apartment – 5:59 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

My hands run down her back, sliding to her hips as her own hands run up the back of my neck into my hair. Her nails pressing into my skin just enough to let me know how much she wants this. Everything with her always had meaning. Every touch, every movement, hell every moan meant something different. She was naturally a nipper, but if she used nails, well that meant something else entirely. The ways of Doctor Lauren Lewis are many and God I love them all.

But not now…not now Bo.

Mustering what self-control I have left between the succubus in myself doing backflips at the way her aura burns and the woman who's knees are weak at her every touch, breathlessly I manage to pull back. "Hey…hey." I'm cut off as her lips capture mine again, the two of us falling onto the bed. She's maneuvered herself in between my legs. A moan of frustration escaping her as I manage to turn my head away from her. My own moan of pure desire following as her lips find my newly exposed neck.

"Lauren…just…"

"This is my choice." She tilts her head back, eye meeting mine. "It's my choice if I want this."

"Y-yeah. Of course I…" Confusion at her choice of words lost as she presses her weight down against me, slowly starting to rock. "Y-you're…Lauren…" My hands gripping her hips, for a second helping her movements until that pesky control comes back.

"I said this is my choice. You can't take that from me."

"Lauren I'm not…" My mind racing, not a clear thought to hold onto as every bit of self-control now goes into keeping my eyes from turning a familiar blue. "Just…this is projecting or…um…something I…words not my friend at moment…"

"Don't speak then." She leans down, kissing my lips, down my jaw.

"S-stop."

"What?" She snaps, pulling back and I don't remember ever seeing her this harsh. "I want you now but you don't want me?"

"No. I want you…I want you a lot. Really…really…really…" Deep breath drawn as I desperately try to calm myself.

"You're my choice. This is my choice."

"Y-yeah you said that and I'm a little confused what that means…" Trailing off, I prop myself up on my elbow struggling for control. "Any other time Lauren…but right now…with you like this…"

"So you don't want me now." She snorts a chuckle, stepping back. "Back to Dyson now?"

"I…" I find myself at a complete loss, unsure of everything. This right here is definitely a Lauren I've never seen before. So dominate, sexually aggressive, possessive and all around take charge in some ways that equally turn me on as much as they do scare me a little but I really don't know what to say.

"Hey sorry I knocked but there was no answer." Kenz says walking in, stopping at the edge of the bed looking between us wide-eyed. "O-kay."

"So the logical assumption was to walk in?" Lauren snaps, not bothering to wait for an answer before she bolts from the room.

"Did I cause that?"

"I…I think I did?" Frustration escaping me as I push myself from the bed, nearly jogging after Lauren down the stairs, Kenz right behind me.

"And of course you're here." Lauren snaps, walking passed Dyson who sits between Hale and Trick on the couch. "Why not." Making her way right into the kitchen she pours herself a glass of wine.

"Did have an invite."

"Oh I bet you did." She downs the glass in one gulp, before pouring another.

"Aw shit." Hale mumbles, taking a drink of his beer.

"Alright let's slow this crazy train down a bit." My eyes remaining on Lauren. "Everyone around here seems to know what's going on except me."

"And me."

"And Kenz. I want some answers and I want them now."

"Bo, its better if you…"

"Don't get involved? Yeah, keep hearing that Trick. It's getting old. All this everyone deciding what I can and can't handle is getting real old. So how about for once we give me the info and I'll decide what I can handle."

"This wasn't to hurt you Bo, it was to protect you."

"Of course, Dyson the great, big, fuzzy-ass protector!" Lauren yells out, raising her glass in the air causing all of us to look at her. Kenz using the distraction to make her way over to Hale.

"Okay….and while that's all very sweet…"

"SOOOO SWEET!"

"Uh…and noble, I want to know."

"Syra is a very, very old Fae who is extremely powerful." Trick answers, glancing into the kitchen at Lauren.

"Yeah, think we all got that part when she was wiping the floor with us."

"She's also not the sanest fruit-loop in the box. She pops up every once and while and cause major issues for us. Normally it's political b.s. Headaches for months but nothing like this." Hale takes his turn.

"Okay, so she's the big bad wolf aiming to blow our house down. Got that already too. What I want to know is what's going on. What's the deal and the secrecy and the deal with the bitch from hell? Is she Dark? Is she evil?"

"She isn't Dark!" Lauren yells.

"Okay, not Dark. Then what?"

"One hundred percent Light. And while it may not sit well with any of us, her behavior with Lauren was in her ability."

"Like you're so bothered!"

"Do you have something to say to me human?"

"No of course not, just my pain being used as a ploy to get into Bo's pants doesn't sit well with me."

"Look who finally found a voice, only took you what? Seven years and a few six-packs?"

"I kinda wanna put each of em' in a corner and watch em' rock-em-sock-em." Kenz whispers into Hale's ear as she leans down.

"Why don't you go find your own girlfriend and leave mine alone?"

"Girlfriend?" He stands up, laughing. "Funny. She never mentioned that."

"Okay. Okay. Down boy." My hand patting his chest as I step in front of him. "This has been a stressful day for everyone but we need to remember everyone in this room is family."

"It's okay, she never mentions you either."

"Lauren." I snap, looking at her as she shrugs. I don't recognize this woman standing before me.

"I think that beating may have affected your thought process slave."

"Dyson!" Myself and Hale snapping in union.

"Always the white knight, always so noble." She slams her glass down on the counter, walking over to us.

"What is wrong with you?" Looking from her to him. "Both of you?"

"Sorry, sometimes it just becomes exhausting playing second fiddle to someone like him." She takes a step closer to my surprise earning a growl from him. "I guess I just got confused as to what my place is." Without another word she moves passed me, heading back upstairs.

"Well that was highly anti-climactic." Vex's voice pulling all of our attention to the hallway, bag in his hand.

Seriously, what the hell is going on?

* * *

 **.**

 **Unknown – 7:29 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

"Are you attempting to start a war?"

"Ah, are you finally getting the picture?" Syra laughs, turning to face me. "Jesus, you look like hell. And you're bleeding all over my fuckin' floor."

"That happens when assaulted."

"Do be so dramatic." Rolling her eyes at me, she takes a seat at the table, her meal already awaiting her. "It was a love letter."

"You ordered this?"

"Of course, do you think he takes a breath without it being my will?"

"You've gone mad."

"Careful, I'm hungry and I tend to get irritable when I'm hungry."

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K Apartment – 7:36 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"What the hell was that?" My words a whisper, but a harsh one as I lean against the sink, arms folded.

"What?"

"Don't you dare what me Mr. You were way outta line."

"So was she."

"She just got used as a punching bag and is drunk out of her mind, she's allowed to be a little…"

"Juvenile?"

"And you were the epitome of maturity in that situation?" Snorting, I glance passed him at the bickering foursome in the living room.

"No." He admits. "I wasn't."

"Well at least you see it."

"I'll apologize to her when she's sober."

"And you're calmer?"

"Yes." He sorta laughs, looking away from me. "Bo, I'm sorry."

"It's not me you need to apologize to."

"No, but it is."

"Dyson…"

"You just drive me crazy Bo." His hands grab mine, pulling me closer. "I told you before I can be territorial and mule-headed and over protective."

"Yeah." I nod. "You did."

"It's only because I love you though." Leaning down he steals a kiss, a quick one as Trick calls him to have one of their secret discussions and I wander over to the stairs, trying to see if I can hear her moving around up there. I'm so not in the mindset to be thinking about that kiss or even the one with Lauren. Really, I'm not in the mindset to be thinking about anything right now.

"Sometimes she's just asking for trouble." Kenz whispers to Hale, resting her head on his shoulder, thinking I can't hear her.

"Got that right. Our little girls is the trouble maker." Vex lets out louder, not caring if I hear as he pulls his tiny pink blanket over his head, sinking into the chair.

* * *

 **.**

 **The Compound – 8:00 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

"Move." I demand, Lykris standing in front of the door. "Tell your dog to move Syra or I will not hold back this time."

"Hold back?" He snickers.

"Fine." I go to sidestep him, but with an unexpected ease he spins me around, grabbing me by the back of my neck forcing me to face Syra.

"Stop struggling, I don't want this sister." She takes a drink of wine, looking at me with a glare. "It's irritating."

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K – Apartment – 8:06 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

Time for round three.

"If I knew all it would take to get a little commitment outta you was getting you and in him a pissing match than I'd have done it weeks ago." Playful smile attempting to hide the traces of seriousness.

"I'm sorry." She sighs, staring out the window. "I really don't know what has come over me."

"I don't want an apology."

"Well if you came in here to kick me out, you don't have to worry."

Slightly amused, I push the door closed. "No?"

"I'll be leaving soon. The Ash will be going to bed soon and it'll be easier for me to sneak back in."

"You're not going back."

"You can't tell me what to do Bo." Her arms fold over her chest as she turns to face me. "I'm a human, not a dog."

"I never thought you were a dog." Sighing, carefully I make my way to her side. "Though sometimes you are cute like a puppy.

"Hm."

"But as your girlfriend I think I might have a right to say something in this situation."

"You don't have to attempt to placate me Bo."

"Not sure what that is, but I'm eighty percent sure I'm not doing it."

"I said what I said only to get under Dyson's skin."

"That hurt a bit." I mumble through a sigh, under my breath.

"This is just how it plays out for us Bo. You bounce between myself and him. He does something to hurt you and you turn to me. I do something to hurt you and you run back to him. I need saving and you come to my rescue, but when you feel I don't need you anymore then you run to him. And vice versa. It's okay. I've made peace with it," She shrugs. "It's in your nature."

"Wow. First you insult me by calling me no, no sorry…IMPLYING I'm indecisive and then you try to soften the blow by saying you make allowances because it's my nature." I take a step back. "What do you know about my nature? What do you know about me?"

"I know more about your nature than you do. I've spent years researching and studying the Fae in general, as well as a considerable time focused on the succubi species."

"Me?"

"Yes…you." Sighing, she takes a step back herself. "I see you struggle everyday fighting against your nature. I see how hard you fight, I know you try your best and I admire that about you. So many times I have found myself wishing I had an ounce of your strength. It's one of the things that makes me love you. But you fail to realize I am not as naïve as most, I know that no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you fight it….you will always lose the battle."

"Right. So now you know the future too? Is that some new skill you acquired recently? Or just something else you've hid from me?"

"I am realistic." She snaps.

"Pessimistic. And yes I know what that means Lauren."

"Realistic." She repeats herself. "As much as it pains me and you will never truly understand by how much, I know that I could never ask you to be with me. Only me. I am human. My chi is nowhere near sufficient for you, not even enough to curb your appetite. I can't heal you. I can't fight by your side, not truly. You will outlive me, borrowing some horrible event. I in the coming years will age and you? You will remain as beautiful and youthful as ever."

"You…" I trail off, fighting the tears slowly wheeling in my eyes without permission. This sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, half at her words and half at how coldly she says them. As if they mean nothing. As if we meant nothing.

"We have been kidding ourselves Bo, indulging in a fantasy."

"A fantasy?"

"I apologize Bo, wholeheartedly. I should have stepped away with grace and dignity and let you be with him. I should have. Although I suppose none of that matters now, the choice is no longer mine."

"You're not realistic, you're a coward Lauren. This is…dammit, turn around and face me." I demand as she attempts to brush passed to, almost making it to the door. "You're a coward. And a damn hypocrite. You stand on your little soapbox and talk about how much you care and how you do all this bullshit for me but in honesty you're just running away. Because that's YOUR nature."

"You lecturing me on running away is rich."

"Don't turn this around on me. I stood here and listened to you and the Bo-bashing party you were throwing. You admit that shit."

"Excuse me?"

"Admit that you're running."

"This is childish."

"Admit it."

"So what if I am?! Do you have any idea what it's like Bo? To have to grin a bear it while you run off with him? To have you come over and touch me and know that at any given point in the day you were just with him? To smell him on you? The image of him….of his hands all over you. His lips. The knowledge that he gets to touch you, feel you…experience you in ways that I can never? I can barely stomach it now. What do you think it would feel like if we did this? Went against every ounce of sanity and gave in."

"Lauren…"

"How long do you think you could last? Month? Year? Two? Five? Eventually you would have to give into your nature and there is nothing I could do or say about it because…it's your nature. It's your biology. Because I knew what I was getting into."

"It wouldn't…it wouldn't be…"

"It would kill me Bo."

"And your answer is want me from afar? Watch me be with him or anyone other than you?"

"Yes." Her tears start to fall that I hadn't even realized were there until they make their way down her cheeks. "Yes."

"Why? How is that…?"

"Because you're not mine!"

"W-what if I told you I was?" My heart beginning to race as I step into her, teary eyes of my own running over her face. "What if I tell you I am?"

"It would be a lie."

"No, it wouldn't be." I promise her, leaning in as my lips brush against hers. She turns her head, trying to step back but my hands rest firmly on her hips. "I know what my nature is. I know the damage I've caused. And believe me, I know the risks. They terrify me every time I touch you. Every time I for the briefest moment forget to keep myself in control."

"You admit it."

"I do, but it doesn't stop me from…" Hands moving from her hips to her hands, fingers intertwining with hers. "I want you Lauren."

"No."

"Yes."

"Bo, stop." Her hands attempting to break free. "Please."

"I'm not gentle with you because you're a human, it's because with me and you it's always making love, even when its not. Being with you…that way isn't just about surviving. I don't feed off of you not because I don't want you or because I think you can't handle it, it's because I don't trust myself…yet. I can live with a lot of things Lauren and I do…but if I ever hurt you…I couldn't live with that."

"Please don't do this…"

"I'm a succubus and yeah I spend every second of everyday fighting my nature, but when I'm with you it doesn't feel like a fight. Because when I'm with you Lauren, I'm not a succubus or Fae or even someone who fights for the greater good and all that crap…all I am is a woman in love."

"Bo…" Her voice trembles, hands mimicking her words. "There are things happening right now that you don't understand and…"

"I don't care." I almost laugh, stray tears escaping as I shrug. "I don't care. Ash, Syra, whatever bullshit Fae issue going on, I don't care. I want you. I. Want. You." Pulling my right hand from hers, fingertips lightly running down her collarbone to the Ash's symbol I know a little too well. "You may have to wear this." My eyes meeting hers. "But you don't belong to her."

"N-no?"

"No." Softly smiling, I shake my head. "You can't, you already belong to me…i-if you want to..."

"P-please…don't hurt me." She pleads and I've never been more terrified in my life as I find myself lost in the depth of her eyes, filled with tears that I think for the first time tonight are painful but rather hopeful.

* * *

 **.**

 **Unknown – 8:59 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

"Well that was unpleasant." I push myself up, spitting out blood onto the ground.

Pushing myself onto my ass, sitting up I stare at the door I was just thrown out of as some piece of trash. This is definitely now how I planned on my day going…at all.

* * *

 **.**

 **B/K Apartment – 9:07 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

Walking into the bathroom, my pace slows surprised to find the shower curtain open. Eyes falling on the perfectness that is her body. Slight twinge of guilt that I find myself taking advantage of the moment. Until my gaze becomes less about her perfectness and more about all of the damage covering her. All the bruises light, fading already which is surprising but I can still see them all. One along the outside of her thigh, her shoulder blades and her arm.

"S-sorry. I was just dropping this off." I lift the towel, feeling my cheeks pinken as she looks over her shoulder at me. "I didn't mean to."

Her lips curve into a smile. "Can you check this?" A whisper I nearly miss under the sound of the water. Cautiously I make my way to her, not completely sure I heard right and even though we've been together countless times for some reason I find myself so nervous now.

She turns her back to me, something that throws me off for a moment. I can feel the water starting to sprinkle me but it doesn't matter now. Softly I run my fingertips over the bruise on her shoulder blades to the middle of her back and then down to just above her ass. She feels like Lauren, my Lauren but there's something new and in this moment something extremely vulnerable about her.

Slowly she turns to face me, my fingertips dragged along her skin until they find a home on the curve of her hip. Her eyes run over my face, searching for something. "You're getting wet."

"Is it that obvious?" Smirking I watch her shyly smile, eyes falling to my lips. Rush of excitement jolting through me as her aura fluctuates. "It was too easy to pass up."

Hesitantly she reaches out, hands cupping my cheeks and then sliding gently to the back of my neck. Her fingers burry themselves in my hair, thumbs stroking the base of my jaw. "Bo…I can't right now." Cheeks completely flushed now, the water doing a good job of hiding the fact her eyes are glassing over. "I'm sorry. I can't explain why…"

"Hey, hey." My hands moving to the sides of her stomach, holding her as tightly as I can without hurting her. "You never have to apologize for that. You don't have to…I'm always…ready." Nervous chuckle passing as quickly as it came as I notice she didn't even smirk at that. "When it comes to you I'm always ready I meant, but that doesn't mean I expect it."

"I want to."

"I know." Smirking, I nod.

Her features tense. "This must be excruciating for you."

"No." I take the last step in, shins hitting the edge of the tub but I don't feel it that much. Hands coming to rest on the small of her back, keeping her close. Water nearly completely soaking me now too, but that doesn't matter. What matters is her. All that matters is her. "This feels…I don't know." I laugh.

"Excruciating."

"No Silly, it's…yes I am highly aroused on multiple levels and it's a little painful in the pit of my stomach but its good."

"A good excruciating?"

"You and your fancy words." Another laugh escapes me. "I like wanting you this much, because you're the only one I want THIS much Lauren. And the fact that I can stand here, you looking like you do and me this….lets just says THIS, this…and I have no intention of pushing anything further is just more proof about how much you mean."

"A-are you sure you want this Bo?"

"More than anything." With the first smile in a while she leans in, capturing my lips in a sweet kiss that borders passionate. Self-control teetering but never wavering. I meant every word but in this moment my own self-control surprises me.

Love…it's a powerful thing.

* * *

 **.**

 **Outside of The Dal– 11:20 p.m.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

' _You can't be serious.'_

' _Will you just shut up.'_

' _This is a new low for us.'_

' _If you'd leave me alone it would only be a new low for me.'_

' _We are one._

 _I can't leave.'_

' _Don't remind me.'_

' _After what you did do you think they'll accept you?'_

' _I don't need acceptance. Only allies.'_

' _You desire acceptance.'_

' _I desire nothing.'_

' _You desire much._

 _Too much.'_

* * *

 **.**

 **The Dal – 11:23 p.m.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"I wish I could come with you." I feel myself angrily pouting, her hand in mine as I lean against the backdoor.

"I know, but this is something I have to do alone."

"Why? I'm trying to be a good sport here about everything and not ask questions, but it's hard. And really hard now."

"Now?"

"Yes, now."

"Why now?" Her head tilts, eyebrow raising.

"You know….you know." I almost laugh, suddenly very nervous. "Our discussion."

"I know." She smiles softly, giving my hand a squeeze. "I was only teasing."

"That was mean."

"In all seriousness Bo, I'm not sure why they haven't come looking for me yet, but if I am lucky I can sneak back in and get what is needed and get back out. Back to you."

"Are you really coming back?" Smile fading, skepticism and doubt suddenly taking over everything else.

"I promise you, I will be back." Leaning in she steals a quick kiss, eyes narrowing slightly when she pulls back. "And you're absolutely sure about this?"

"Surer in this moment than the last one you asked me."

Nervously she chuckles slightly. "Sorry."

"Hey, I'll be even surer the next time you ask. I don't know what gonna happen but I know it'll all be worth it if you're gonna be with me."

"I-I have to go." She whispers, stealing one more quick kiss or maybe it's me who steals it. Taking several steps back her hand falls from mine. It's two more steps before she turns away and four more before I manage to tear my eyes from her.

"She on her way?" Dyson asks as I near the bar, his voice flat but I can tell he's drunk as a skunk….what does that even mean.

"Yeah, don't worry she's committed to whatever this is."

"Bo, please." Tricks sighs from behind the bar, book in hand. Hale, Kenz and Vex's banter coming to a dead halt as they stare at me waiting for me to know what to say.

"Sanctuary." I like the rest of the group nearly jump out of our skin at the unfamiliar voice seemingly coming from nowhere. Turning behind myself, Dyson's hand on my shoulder attempting to hold me in place. Fists clenching as I see who our uninvited guest is.


	9. C8: Let You Down

**.**

 **(BO'S POV)**

 **.**

"Bloody hell! Only you lot can get me in this much trouble." Vex wines as Hale gets off his stool stepping right in front of Kenz. Dyson steps beside me, grabbing my wrist.

"You can't claim sanctuary." Trick speaks up, not moving.

"Ha." She almost chuckles, using the back of her hand wiping the blood from her temple. "Actually old man, by Fae law any Fae be he Light or Dark regardless of position of power may claim sanctuary."

"The only people you answer to are Elders, sanctuary can be overturned for them."

"Shh shifter, know your place when the adults are speaking." Her eyes move from Dyson back to Trick. "It's from Syra."

"That crazy bitch is involved in this too?" Vex laughs out.

"YOU want sanctuary from Syra?"

"Yes. Is there perhaps someone I can speak to that doesn't repeat everything I say?" She pauses, looking over us. "Since you all seem to be a little slow, I will speak just as slowly. I want to claim sanctuary, here and now from the Dark Fae known as Syra. Is that clear enough or do you need pictures?"

"Let go of me." I demand, attempting to jerk away from his hold.

"Bo. No."

"This will be so childish." She sighs, looking at me. "But if you insist, I suppose we can get this out of the way." With a speed I've never seen, her words not quite registered yet I'm jerked back slightly as Dyson goes flying through the air. Her hand wraps around my throat, slamming me down on the top of the bar. She kicks out into Hale's stomach sending him flying backward into Kenz. She leans down, lips above mine as she stares into my eyes. "Is this what you wanted?"

"Yes." My lips curving to a smirk as I let my eyes transition, her own eyes narrowing.

Letting my body go limp I bring my arms up, palms slamming into her chest enough to send her back. Legs hiking back, kicking out the second I have just enough room. She's strong, I can see that now. She doesn't fall or fly back but rather clumsily steps back. Hoping back onto my feet, ignoring the shards of glass stuck in my shoulder blade I go for her. Right hook, left hook, repeat. Each she swats away. Kicking out she grabs my leg, slamming me face first onto the floor.

World spinning as my blurred vision begins to clear. "Vex do something!" Kenz's voice cuts through the ringing in my ears. Pushing myself onto my forearms, spitting blood out onto the floor as I start to choke on it. "I don't have power over her!" He yells back.

Glancing upward, Kenz kneels on the floor trying to bring Hale back to consciousness. Dyson is being slapped around with such an ease I never thought I'd see. Growing tired of him she kicks out sending him flying over my head into the pool table. Pushing myself up onto all fours is all I mange before she's at my side, kicking into my ribs.

A scream fills the bar as Kenz jumps onto her back. Her legs wrapping tightly around Sasha's stomach, her arms around her neck. Sasha stumbling back, giving me enough opportunity to make it onto my feet. Sasha kicks off the nearest table, slamming them into a wall, or more accurately slamming Kenz into the wall. She steps away from her and I can't help running to her side.

"No wonder Lauren couldn't wait to swear fealty to me, pathetic." She snorts a chuckle, reaching down and grabbing me by the back of the neck. Raising me to my feet. Throwing my elbow back I feel her nose break but all I get I a grunt of anger from her.

"Enough!" All I hear is Trick's voice before I find myself dropped to my feet. Spinning around ready to throw a punch, almost doing it actually I find her on the ground, out cold. Trick standing over her with this ridiculous looking hammer thing that looks almost like a child's Thor toy. "Hammer of the Gandals."

"Yeah, remind me to send Gandalf a thank you card."

"Gandals not-." Sigh, he shakes his head and rolls his eyes. "Never mind."

"You don't know how much you're going to pay for that." Vex adds, taking a swig from the bottle he's nearly finished himself while avoiding the fight entirely.

"Where were you?"

"So much as glaring at her pretty little head can earn you a fate far worse than death." He snickers. "I'm not a part of this."

"Sooner or later you're going to have to pick a side." I groan, looking back down at the knocked out topic of the conversation. "Would it be too petty to kick her…a few times?"

"Do it with the hammer." Kenz groans, slowly sitting up. "Bitch."

* * *

.

 **1:06 a.m.**

.

Standing at the head of the group, arms folded over my chest I stare our guest down. Her head hanging forward, hair in her face. Her body now completely covered in duct tape, Kenz having used all three of Trick's rolls. If I didn't want to use her as a punching bag and my body like my head wasn't throbbing it would be a little funny.

"So…I'm guessing this is a firm no on the sanctuary?" She sort of laughs, head still hanging.

"You're still here…"

"And alive." I finish for Trick. "More than you deserve."

"You being the moral police is hilarious."

"Keep talking, watch how quickly we kick your ass to the curb."

Sighing, she looks up at me annoyed. "What's with the S and M setup?"

"Uncomfortable?" Kenz barks, walking up beside me. "Good. Maybe next time your psycho ass wants help you don't follow it up with beating the shit out of everyone."

"Oh come on!" She laughs. "I just gave Bo what she wanted."

"Bet you say that to all the girls." I glare.

"Don't you mean Lauren?"

"Enough." Dyson growls, stepping in front of me. "You're here for sanctuary, what makes you think we'd help you?"

"Because you can't stop her on your own."

"Stop her from what?" Trick questions, stepping back behind the bar.

"From what you've been worried about, she's finally going to go through with it."

"Then why would you need protection, you want the same thing."

"No! I wanted unity. She wanted it too…for a time. Unfortunately it's become evident she has lost her damn mind."

"What does she want? A war? To be known? Power?" I ask, suddenly feeling lost again.

"Syra is known and has more power than you realize infant. A war is too small for her, she wants a genocide. Light, Dark, human and animal. Anyone or anything that does not bow to her and conform to her way of thinking. This begun as a way to untie us, Light and Dark…now…it's genocide."

"What about the humans?"

"Pets?" Sasha looks passed me and Dyson to Kenz. "Pets are pets. Slaves are slaves. Humans…are humans. Any war has casualties, especially genocides. But for the most part, they were supposed to be turned."

"That's why you needed Lauren."

"It was supposed to be for those who want it and reversal for the Fae who wanted to be human. For those who wanted a normal life. Like say for those who fell in love with a human and wanted to be free…" Her words trail, eyes meeting mine enjoying my discomfort. "Unity and peace, it was the goal. No more hiding for us. No more divide of Light and Dark or human and Fae. It was supposed to be better."

"You're talking of mutating humans and Fae alike, the repercussions of that…"

"Relax Blood King, it wasn't contemplated lightly. That is why we went through so much trouble acquiring Lauren. If anyone could do it, it would be her. In fact she's the entire reason this came about. Do you really think her little Congo excursion was the first the Fae had laid eyes on her? That was just…a final test so to speak."

"What's changed?"

"She's been seduced by Dark Fae traditions and teachings. Lost herself in things we swore never to entertain."

"Not to stare the obvious Love, but she is Dark. We tend to do that."

"Beyond your time pest, even beyond ours. I'm talking about the beginning of our kind when the Light was the lesser of the two and the Elders were non-existent."

"How could she? She'd need…"

"All the decedents? Yeah, she has them. Well, without me she only has five."

"I'm sorry, decedents?" Kenz asks for me.

"Decedents are pure Fae, we stay within our…direct species never mixing. Makes us quite powerful. You want more than that? Read a history book. The point is Syra slipped, she's hell bent on starting a genocide. In fact, she may already have. One of the others came into my office tonight, fought me in public and killed another Light Fae who tried to intervene. She's making her way down the list of humans who work for the Dark, soon she'll start on mine."

"I thought you would need consent to start a war or something? No Fae congress or…?" I snort out, hand running through my hair as my mind wanders back to Lauren.

"Yes and no. To have a war in the traditional sense, yes we would need consent. But with her little stunt, word will spread fast and when it does our already excessive tensions will rise. Any Light who doesn't have control will start a fight with any Dark that looks at him wrong. This is a simplistically genius way of letting us kill each other off, enough that she doesn't have too much heavy lifting."

"Yeah, sounds genius."

"What do you say infant, teammates?" She laughs, looking down at her restraints. "You won't be able to take her without me. You have to realize that."

"Absolutely not." Dyson growls.

"We need to consider this." Trick cuts him off.

"There's not another option." Vex trails off, completely drunk now.

"I'm beginning to see the issue here, too many Chiefs, not enough Indians." She laughs, standing up from the chair as the duct tape rips away with ease. Sighing, she begins pulling it off of herself. "What? Did you actually think duct tape would hold me?"

* * *

.

 **2:24 a.m.**

.

"This is yours." Coming beside her I slam Lauren's necklace down on the bar top, knocking over her shot glass in the process.

"Thanks, do you happen to have the woman that is supposed to be attached to it?"

"Listen very carefully when I tell you this, if you touch her again I will kill you."

"How very fitting."

"What?"

"This. You. Your behavior. It's childish. Thus it is very fitting."

"Cute."

"You are aware you can tell her to come out, I know very well that she came to you."

"She's not here."

"Right, right."

"No, she really isn't here. She went to get the blueprints for your insane plan." Kenz snaps, holding an ice pack to the back of Hale's head.

"She's where?" She snaps, standing up. "If you wanted her dead there are more humane ways."

"Since where are you so concerned with her safety?"

"The second she steps foot in that lab they will…"

"Kill her?" Trick finishes for her.

"Worse."

* * *

 **.**

 **3:02 a.m.**

 **.**

Leaning into the corner of the couch, I take a drink of my babysat tequila. The flames of the fires first a distraction to my racing mind, but now they lure me in, whispering to me only further my doubts.

…

 **46 Days Ago**

…

"You ever wonder what it'd be like to be Fae?" I ask, hand running up and down the curve of her back, her face half buried in my pillow.

"From time to time, of course."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure." She laughs through a yawn, not really interested in my conversation. It's funny, generally at this point in the night I'm not interested in conversation either…unless it's her.

"How very descriptive Dr. Lewis."

"There's the obvious, the power and the abilities. There's the self-nature, that of course being my predisposition of curiosity."

Giggling, I rest my head on her shoulder blade, lazily drawing shapes on her back with my fingertip. "You are quite curious."

"There's also wanting to be a part of something, something more. And the desire to be something…special."

"You are special." My answer earning a soft laugh.

"Not in the way Fae are. Not in the way that you are." Smiling against her sink, I feel my cheeks getting hot. "What about you?"

"I don't need to wonder, I am one."

"Clever."

"Thanks."

"I meant do you wonder or rather still wonder about being human?"

"I really used to. A lot. More than you know. Before I met you or Kenz and I thought something was wrong with me. And I was alone. I used to wish it every day. Wonder what it would be like to kiss someone, have sex with someone, Hell, just have a meaningful connection and not have to worry about killing them."

"What about lately?"

"Um," Snuggling closer, trying to hide the fact that I'm ridiculously blushing as I think about my answer, or more accurately the reason behind it. Though it's kinda pointless, even as amazingly flexible as she is, she can't see me at this angle. "Once or twice."

"Is that so?"

"Yup. To know true freedom, to know I could love who I wanted without any repercussions."

…

* * *

"Bo." The sound of my name forcing me back to reality. Looking up I find Kenz taking a seat next to me with the concerned mothering look she gets from time to time that's both ridiculous and the most amazing thing. "Doc Hottie is fine, she's strong."

"Yeah."

"She's probably on her way back over here now."

"Or she's in some deep, dark hole about to be eaten."

"She is into that lady lovin', it's not a bad way to go." She jokes, giving me a nudge with her elbow but all I can do is glare. "Wasn't my best joke." With a sigh, she shrugs. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood Bo-Bo."

"Kenz, this isn't a normal everyday case. Something you crack a few jokes about and we're all good. Lauren may or may not be in danger, I have an insanely jealous wolf out there who's ego is completely bruised and a completely batshit crazy, no one knows what side she's on Ash who by the way just wiped the floor with me."

"Is that what you're pouting about? That she wiped the floor with us?"

"Ye-no. I told Lauren I'd protect her. And honestly Kenz, ego aside for the first time I don't think I can."

"I'm not the one she needs protection from." Sasha's voice making us both look up, her hands buried in her pockets. Sometimes, this being one of them she looks so young. No older than Kenz actually.

"No? So you weren't the one who decided to use her as a human punching bag?" Kenz snaps, standing. "Thought so."

"Don't really give a warm welcome to new comers do you?" She smirks, watch Kenz walk away, making her way back to Hale.

"You're not a new comer."

"You can't still be upset about earlier." She sighs through a smirk, attention returning to me. "It was what you wanted. Granted I'm sure you expected a different outcome, but none the less, you did want to fight."

"Sure."

"So indignant. You know, I've been wondering, Bo…is that short for something?" Silence. "Doesn't matter. Word of advice…Bo, as someone who has a few hundred years on you, you need to learn self-control."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

"You don't think I know how it feels? Every time you get aroused, even in the slightest…every sense inside of you slowly begins going insane. Like a domino effect. Every centimeter of your body being set on fire, thousands of pins and needles digging into your flesh. The urge so powerful you don't think you can control it, every tiny bit of strength directed to keeping just an ounce of composure." She takes a step closer, directly in front of me now. "Jealousy? Forget it. The teensiest hint of it and you're done for, your stomach turns like there's a fire inside, heart speeding, anger pulsing through your entire body to the point of pain. And though you'd never admit aloud or maybe even to yourself, that desire to kill the competition whispering in the back of your mind with every passing breath. Succubi…incubi…we're not born to be good. I know what it's like. I am you. Well, a much more attractive, younger looking, better dressed, more experienced, higher intellectual, rich…okay, well…I'm not really you. But I am a succubus, so I do know a thing or two."

"You're…a succubus?" I can't help how I lean forward in curiosity.

"You thought you were the only one in existence?" She laughs, smirk fixing on her lips as her eyes narrow, almost gloating. "Oh, you thought you were the only one. Why'd you think she was so comfortable with you?"

"Excuse me?"

"You really don't know her at all, do you? In all this time, you never asked if she'd ever been with someone else, let alone another Fae? Seriously Infant, how dense are you?" She laughs at me. "I mean really, have you seen her? Long legs, soft milky skin. Delicious lips, beautiful eyes and how sweet she smells…" Her words trail, and I know what she's doing. I know she's trying to get to me, but despite knowing it. Despite trying to keep control I know she can see I'm failing. "And her aura when she's turned on?"

"Enough." Snapping, I put my drink on the floor, going to stand but find myself being pushed back on the couch with enough force it skids back an inch or two. Sasha laughing the whole time slides atop of me, leg on either side as she grabs my wrists holding them down, all in one motion.

"Tell me you never thought about it. Just giving in once when you're with her. Forgetting about the pesky fact you'd kill her if you did." Her words whispered now, as she looks over me enjoying how my struggle against her fails. Her head dipping, lips just barely above mine. "You really know nothing about her."

"But you do?"

She smirks. "She doesn't love you." So focused on her words, on my anger I hadn't even realized her grip had lessened. Anger building like a tornado inside of myself breaking free as I feel my eyes transition. "Cute."

"Bo we…" Hale stops, staring at us. "Not what I expected to see."

"It's not…"

"Don't need to tell me nothing, but the Doc might appreciate if we hurried with the rescuing. Dyson found where they took her."

Chuckling, she slides off of me, brushing her clothes off. "Was it good for you?"

Laughing she shrugs, winking at Hale before she walks passed him. Anger quickly being replaced with shame as I come to meet his gaze, this stare of confusion and disappointment. After a moment he lets out a dry laugh, shaking his head as if he's realized something before turning and following Sasha's path.

* * *

…

 **37 Days Ago**

…

"You don't know everything about me Bo!" She nearly yells, walking down the stairs into her kitchen, me storming down the stairs close behind her.

"That's not my fault."

"No? Maybe if you spent more time on getting to know me than worrying about getting into my bed or sleeping with Dyson then you would know a little bit more."

"I don't even know where to start with that sentence. Like seriously Lauren."

"I think you should go." She spins around, arms folded over her chest.

"Lauren…" My tone softening, coming to her side. "I don't know what I said that upset you so much…"

"That's the problem Bo. You don't know. And unless it's about what pleases me in bed, there isn't much you do know about me."

"I'm sorry. Really I wanna know more about you. I do, I promise." My hands taking hers, surprisingly she doesn't pull away.

"No, I'm sorry." She says and for a second I think she'll pull away and tell me to leave again, but instead she gets this…clinicy look she gets sometimes, and flashes me a soft smile. "Sometimes I just forget to add the succubi factor into the situation." Leaning in, she steals a quick kiss. "Young succubi factor."

"Did you just call me young?" I can't help laughing, stepping in as my arms wrap around her.

"Hm, I did." She nods.

"That's not nice."

"Would you prefer I called you old?"

"Uh," I pretend to think about it. "Think you're right. Young is sooo much better."

"I usually am."

"So modest."

…

* * *

"So it's settled, I'll go in and get her." Sasha says, standing up from her otherwise empty table.

"Along with me, yeah." I'm quick to add, standing up myself.

"You'll only slow me down."

"How can we be sure you won't run off with her to be your sex slave or something? Kenz snapped, Hale nudging her with his elbow. "What?"

"Are you really that egotistical Infant, that you NEED the credit for saving her? If it's not you, well then screw her? I don't think you understand just what she could be dealing with?"

"And whose fault is that?'

"I'm sorry, who allowed her to go in the first place? I know you tend to function on only one percent of your brain, but were you using even that when you let her go?"

"She doesn't belong to me."

"Oh, I'm quite aware."

"Ha. Cute."

"If only you had a simple understanding of the English language, that intended insult would have played out how you wanted."

"You just love the sound of your own voice, don't you?"

"No, I can just form sentences longer than three words."

"I thought Dyson and Lauren fighting was popcorn worthy." Vex laughs, leaning into Kenz who ignores him. My eyes shifting from them back to Sasha.

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine." I shrug, jaw clenched. "Next time, I'll be sure to treat her like a dog…just like you do."

"Ever heard of being protective?"

"Enough." Dyson stands, hand resting on my shoulder. "The three of us will go."

She laughs, rolling her eyes. "Yes, Lauren has absolutely nothing to worry about there."

* * *

 **.**

 **5:16 a.m.**

 **.**

The music blares, base strong enough I swear I can feel the floor move. Colored lights flashing everywhere, fog in the air and dozens of young people jumping around…rubbing against each other. My breath hitching as my heart speeds up as their feel of their auras slam into me like a ton of bricks. My palms moistening as the hunger inside me builds.

Dyson grabs my wrist, starting to drag me through the crowd toward Kenz and Sasha. We come to stop at this metal staircase, two large bodybuilders in suits standing guard part quickly under Sasha's stare. The four of us making our way up the tiny staircase, Dyson still holding onto my wrist. Attention wavering as I glance back out onto the crowd.

* * *

…

 **30 Days Ago**

…

"Are you okay?" She asks, closing her book as she sits up straight.

"Yeah. Yeah." I lie, rubbing the back of my neck. The tension spreading through me like wildfire. "I'm fine. You?"

"I am okay, but I'm not the one who has been shifting uncomfortably the entire night."

"Sorry. I'm okay."

"Did something happen on the case you're working on?"

"No."

"With Kenzi then?"

"No."

"Di-di I do something."

"No." I snap. Taking a breath, catching myself. "You've done nothing, I'm sorry."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No." I scoot up to the edge of the couch, starting at the edge of my coffee table. "I don't want you to go. I never want you to go…"

"But I should?" She asks softly, placing her book down on the table.

"I'm sorry, I haven't fed in a bit and..."

"Bo, it's fine…really."

No…it's not.

…

* * *

"This is Star Dust, my lady." His smooth, deep southern accent pulling my attention from a memory. "You shouldn't be here Sasha."

"I know."

"Syra has all but put a bounty on your head."

"Great. Now that Mr. Gucci here has finished playing the concerned citizen, can we get back to the point?" Kenz snaps, glancing at me probably wondering about my silence. "Our friend, her girlfriend…kinda."

"I could protest…I should protest…but I'm actually kind of curious how this is going to play out." He smirks, leaning back in his chair behind his desk. "Downstairs."

"Thank you." She lets out, already turning around to lead us back downstairs. So great how she somehow became in charge here.

"Sasha," His call pulls us to a stop. "Lykris is the one who has her."

"Who's Lykris?"

"No one you'll ever want to meet." Dyson answers me, his arm wrapping around Kenz's waist as he like I do notice several Fae taking notice of her. Moments like this are why I can't stay mad at him.

"He's a chaos Fae, like to mess around in people's subconscious." Sasha continues to be the barer of excellent news. "We need to hurry."

"Did you think we were going to start slowing down?"

"I'm simply stressing a point Infant, we need to get to her very quickly."

"What aren't you saying?"

"Just prepare for worst case."

"What does that mean?" I snap, pushing in front of Dyson to face her brining us to a stop. "What?"

"Lauren might not…be Lauren when we get to her."

* * *

…

 **22 Days Ago**

…

"What does she like?" Hale asks, looking down at into the jewelry case. "Gold? Silver? White gold?"

"I uh, I'm not sure."

"Alright. Maybe jewelry isn't the way to go."

"Probably right. Besides B-Day budget isn't exactly impressive." Pouting, I take a sip of my weird frappe drink he talked me into getting.

"What about a book? A book can be romantic. Who's her favorite author?"

"I…don't know."

"What about…perfume?"

"I don't know what she likes."

"What do you know she likes?" He turns to face me, hands in his pockets giving me that disapproving look.

"Star Trek, science and me."

"That's a pretty sad list."

"Don't judge me." I move passed him, glancing down into the case.

"Girls appreciate when you take an interest."

"I am a girl thank you."

"No, you're a," He glances around, whispering. "Succubus."

"Still a girl Hale."

"A friendly word of advice, as an unlikely shopping buddy, Dyson don't care if you know these things. It don't faze him. He's my friend, but he don't care. Lauren…women…little different."

"I'm aware thank you."

"Are you?"

…

* * *

The door slams behind us, causing me to jump. Swallowing at the dryness in my throat, memories leaving this dull ache in my chest. This place is like stepping into another world. The music from above now silent. The floor this deep cream colored marble that matches the walls. The large staircase we're standing on the second landing of nothing short of grand.

"Impressive, really." The sound of clapping bringing our attention to the floor beneath us. "Any slower and I could have taken a nap."

"Where's my human?" Sasha snaps.

I snap right back. "You're human?"

"Human? Blonde? Cute? Nice body?"

"Syra, where is Lauren?"

"So, this is the shifter who is in love with the succubus, who is in love with the human…but also loves him…and the human is in love with the succubus but she belongs to you. Wow. If only that hack Shakespeare were still alive, he'd have a field day."

"Where is she?" I start to move forward, Sasha's hand gripping my shoulder.

"She's hurt." Dyson growls, doing that weird head tilt thing when he's caught a scent.

"Me? No, I'm quite well."

"Find Lauren, I got her." Sasha orders, never breaking eye contact Syra as her hand falls from my shoulder.

"Ah yes, Lauren…that's the human's name." Syra chuckles. "Well, Lauren one the other hand…she might not be quite so well."


	10. C9: The Dark of You

**.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

Oh God…

The peculiar throbbing assaulting my parietal lobe uniquely complements the sharp ache ravishing my frontal lobe. A dull ache radiating throughout every millimeter of my body, breathing alone becoming a somewhat daunting challenge. In the pit of my stomach a particular discomfort gradually begins to make itself known, yet none of this is what presumably is pulling my mind toward consciousness. No, it's the unmistakable scent of ammonia and arsenic.

Displeased with myself for doing so, I take a deep breath through my nose and force my heavy eyelids open. Darkness replaced with more darkness, my eyes slowly adjusting as I begin to be able to piece together an idea of where I might find myself. Large pipping and air ducts overhead, overly high ceilings, with no windows in sight and dust heavily coats not only the air but the floor as well. Comfortably I would venture an abandon warehouse or factory of some sort.

Gathering what strength I can muster, I push myself up. A new sharp pain ripping through my lower abdomen, but I feel no blood…injury must be internal.

"You're awake." Malik's voice a shocking surprise, my attention snapping to my far right. "I didn't think you'd be awake so soon. They hit you pretty good."

"I uh…" Trailing off, hesitantly I reach up to mimic the gesture he made. My fingertips touching my temple, warm and sticky residue coating my skin. I can't believe I missed that in my self-assessment. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay." He nods, back against the wall. "Think my knee is broken though."

"Don't move." I order, chest growing heavier with each breath drawn. Maneuvering onto my knees I crawl over to him. The distance itself cannot be more than thirty feet, but the journey seems excruciating. "How bad does it hurt?"

"On a scale of zero to ten, I'd give it an eight." He sort of laughs, leaning his head back against the wall. "Only thing that's hurt worse is when my collarbone was fractured."

"It was a break." I correct him, maneuvering myself beside him. His legs already stretched out, which is ideal since I don't believe I currently possess the strength to help him extend them if they weren't already.

"I was being optimistic."

"Optimism is…" Trailing off, my hands run down the sides of his calf stopping midway when I find the tear in the material. "I hope you weren't attached to these pants."

"Why?" No sooner than he asks the question I manage to tear the material apart, stopping just above his knee. "Okay."

"Good news is that nothing is sticking out."

"That's always a plus, I might have passed out."

"Bad news is it's going to have to be broken slightly more."

"Excuse me?"

"It has to be set." My eyes closing involuntarily, proper words to explain myself escaping me at the moment. "Think of it as dislocated."

"This is going to hurt."

"It will, the worse news is I can't do it."

"Something Doctor Lewis can't do?" He almost laughs.

"I don't have the strength right now, I can feel it and my mind…I'm not focused. There's too many variables currently. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. You'll fix it if we get out of here."

"Of course." I nod, running my hands through my hair attempting to focus my thoughts. "Bo, she'll come soon."

"Bo?"

"Yes, Bo. Who we discussed briefly. She knows where I was going and when I don't return she will come looking. We just have to hang in until then."

"Where were you going?"

"I was, uh…I think it's better if you don't know." I lie, I honestly can't remember. "Do you remember how you got here?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I woke up in here and then not long after you were dragged in."

"All of the strength they possess and they always have to drag us rather than carry us."

"We are garbage…"

"I'm sorry?"

"To them, we're garbage." He leans forward slightly, eyes narrowing. "Are you okay Lauren? You seem…"

His voice trails off as my eyes close once more. The odors becoming overpowering. The pain becoming overpowering. My focus like my composure wavering with each passing second. Forcing my eyes back open, I find him still staring at me. Reassuringly I nod, looking back down at his knee almost as if I could do something to aide him. A slight twinge of guilt making itself known as I fully know in this condition there isn't a thing I can do.

"Bo will be here soon." I repeat myself, nodding.

"I didn't picture you as someone who went based on faith."

"Ah yes, well it's not so much faith as a…a…" Shaking my head, running my hand through my hair again as I begin to wonder what happened to my hair tie. I had one…I always have one handy when I'm working. Was I working? "Sorry, my mind is not functioning to its fullest capacity. I just know Bo."

"Do you…"

"What?"

"Do you think she'll have noticed by now?" He leans in again as I wait for his words to register. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Less and less." I chuckle, maneuvering myself beside him I mimic his posture. "Ammonia and arsenic."

"What's that?"

"The odor, it's an unusual combination. Vaguely familiar." Pushing my head back against the wall, I let my eyes close as bring my hand up to rub my forehead. "I just…I need to focus a little."

"You don't like not being in control."

"It's not that, I like having control of myself in a situation."

"There's a difference?"

"Yes. Having control in general means I need to control everything about the situation and everyone in it. I simply prefer having control over myself in any particular situation."

"Is that why you were so upset about what Sasha did to you? You lost control of yourself?"

My eyes shoot open, siting up slightly I stare as him as he remains still. His eyes closed just as mine had been, his head against the wall. "What did you say to me?"

"What?"

"What did you say to me?"

"I-I didn't say anything." His eyes come to open, head tilting as he looks at me.

"What you said about Sasha, why did you say that?"

"The Ash? I didn't—Lauren what's wrong with you?"

"N-nothing." Shaking my head, a wave of that odor coming over me. Nausea building as the pain in my frontal lobe becomes unbearable. This desire to scream out rapidly overcoming me, but I clench my jaw instead. The tips of the back of my teeth cutting into the sides of my tongue, the taste of blood slowly filling my mouth. "You said if we get out."

"When?"

"A few minutes ago, you said if we get out…not when we get out."

"Did I?"

"Yes." I nod, vision slightly blurring but in the darkness it matters next to nothing. "You did."

"Does that matter?"

"You just always…you're just always so…optimistic."

"Lauren, you're scaring me."

"I…" Closing my eyes, this POUND…POUND…POUND echoing in my mind making it hard to think. Hands coming to my face, palms over my eyes. "Malik…" After several minutes of pure silence I manage to find my voice. "Somethings wrong."

"I think we could say a lot is wrong." He chuckles.

"No," Letting my hands fall to my lap, I find his eyes staring back into mine. "We've been here before."

"You know where we are?"

"I suppose." I nod, jaw clenched as I feel my hands begin to tremble. "You're not Malik."

"…You're not well…"

"This is how we met. We were both thrown here, punishment. Your knee was severely dislocated, I popped it back into place. You passed out from the pain, it was terrifying because I was alone but worrying about making sure you got through it is what kept me sane. We spent four days together. They poured ammonia though the air duct to kill off the smell of our waste that they forced us to live in."

Silence.

"You mimic me. You lean forward, I thought you were concerned but you lean forward because I do. You tilt your head because I do. These aren't Malik's mannerisms…they're mine."

His lips curve into this sickening smirk that makes my blood run cold.

"W-who are you?"

Silence.

"Who are you?"

Silence.

"Where am I? Where am I really?"

Silence.

"Answer me!"

His head tilts to the right as mine tilts to the left, his eyes narrowing as mine do. "They're all going to die because of you." His voice different now, lower and higher simultaneously. My heart racing as I push myself back from him. The pounding inside my head suddenly very real. There's a large metal door somewhere nearby, vaguely I recall being pulled through it on the fifth day of captivity. "One." POUND. "By." POUND. "One."

"Te-tell me who you are."

"I've taken a look into your future Lauren…and there is nothing but death."

"Then do it…kill me."

POUND. POUND. "No Silly…" POUND. POUND. "You're the harbinger…" POUND. POUND. "You'll survive it all."

His words trail and the noise comes to a dead halt. Only the pound of my racing heart in my ears. Maneuvering onto all fours he crawls to me as I push at the floor, sliding backward only to stop when I feel something behind me. Chill surging down my spine, my head turning to the right to look.

There he his. His face managed, his eyes white…he's decomposing. His cold breath on my skin and the unmistakable stench of death cutting through the once pungent odors. His mouth opens and blood splatters over my face. I feel myself scream but I hear nothing. Kicking backward at the ground he crawls after me until I'm trapped by the wall. He climbs over me, face to mine as the tip of his nose grazes my own.

"One…by…one…"

POUND.

.

Gasping for breath my eyes open to a familiar darkness. My heart pounding to the point of nausea, but the thought of calming myself slips away from before I ever had a grasp on it. My hands tremble against the wooden arms of the chair. The wire wrapped tightly around my wrists keeping them in place as are my ankles. I can't move.

The darkness begins to fade ever so slightly as does the deafening silence. I sit hostage at the head of a very long dining table, a feast for kings spread out over it. Bo sits to my left, Kenzi to her left, Hale to hers, Sasha to his and Malik to hers. Dyson sits to my right, to his right Trick, Vex to his right, a man I don't quite recognize but quite comparable to Hale sits to his right and a woman I don't recognize of presumably eastern Asian descent. They're all talking and laughing, but I can't hear them. They're laughing so much and they keep glancing at me. Sasha leans forward, saying something with a smile…she's waiting for a response but I don't know the question. Soon her smile fades and the others turn all turn to look at me. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

There's only silence.

I want to answer…but I don't know the answer.

The sickly sweet scent of almonds fills the air and I feel myself growing lightheaded. Focus wavering as something lurking in the background catches my attention. Quickly it moves in the shadows all around us, but I'm the only one concerned. I jerk at my restraints, the pain unbearable but the fear grows greater than reason. Hushed in the background I can hear…music. It's sort of upbeat and jolly but unique and does nothing to calm me as it grows louder. My head on a swivel as I try to keep an eye on this figure in darkness.

Slowly the music grows louder and I begin to place it, its carousel music. Not just any carousel music, but one I know. The carousel my mother would bring me to as a child in new town over Rosewood, at least until the one year when the…

My thought trailing off as my heartrate quickens. Hands trembling, body jolting. My attention shifting from the shadows to the table…a once beautiful feast now rotted with rodents running about freely. I turn to Bo only to have my eyes fill with tears. Each of them still stare at me but now with dead eyes, their heads limp as blood trickles from the corners of their eyes like tears.

This isn't real…I know this isn't real…it's not…

But the music grows louder and the more I stare at them the more I lose grips on an already flighty sense of composure. Dim lights dim further and then brighten and then dim, this pattern repeated over and over again keeping rhythm with the music.

"Do..do…do…" Humming along with the music from the shadows out steps Pongo the Dancing Clown. My entire body trembling with fear. "Remember me?" He hops around at the other end of the table. I hadn't even thought about him in years, over twenty to be exact…but now I'm that seven year old little girl again. "Still want that balloon girly?"

Shaking my head unnecessarily I jerk back in the chair attempting to get away but all I do it tear the flesh further from my skin. He hops up onto the table and I jump at the thud his weight makes. Crouching down he suddenly has that white balloon from my childhood…I know it's the same one because the way the blood trickles down it is just the same. My vision begins to blur the world spins away. The music growing loud enough I hear my ears pop. He dances his way toward me and just as he reaches me I feel the world begin to slip away.

Goodbye Bo…

* * *

.

My eyes open to find…brightness this time. It's so bright it hurts…but it's not actually all that bright, it's the pain in my head that is making it worse. My eyes begin to roll back as my head does the same, I find myself staring up at a tall white ceiling, a single chain hanging down from a bracket where my hands are currently bound to. Letting my head fall forward I find my ankles bound together, shoes and socks missing as my toes scrape against the floor.

The humming of that song beginning again as I feel my body tighten. From behind me comes a man, who by all accounts appears regular and vaguely familiar. I think I've seen him once before speaking to Sasha. Maybe. He's barefoot and bare chested, his hands raised slightly as his fingers loosely bend except his index fingers that move through the air along with his humming as if orchestrating and orchestra.

"You still remember that song as if you just heard it."

I nod.

"Why did it terrify you so much? I didn't dig quite that deep, I was having too much fun."

Silence.

"Are you feeling alright? The process while euphoric for myself can be a bit grueling for some and creates a bit of a headache."

Silence.

"Your mind is quite the complex and astonishing maze. I am betting even you don't realize the depths of…naughty places you have in there."

Silence.

"Have you figured out who I am yet? Have you placed me?"

"Yes."

"Good." He claps his hands together. "Then you know the repercussions of misbehaving, right now we're having fun but if you were to misbehave then…I might have to make you peel off your own flesh sliver by sliver and eat it."

"P-please t-tell Sasha…tell her I'll be good…tell h-her I'll behave."

"Sasha?" He laughs, dancing over to me. "She has grown weak in your presence, as amusing as it has become to witness…I can't even tell you if she's still alive at this point."

"W-what?"

"I found it interesting, your lack of hatred for her." His head tilts, flashes of the version of Malik he had created in my mind playing over.

Silence.

"I also found your feelings toward the child interesting. Explain to me how you can love someone so much and yet…trust them as little as you do?"

Silence.

"In fact, I personally wonder if you even really like her…which only makes it more interesting."

Silence.

"Not a huge conversationalist are you Doctor? That's fine, I don't need you to speak to get those answers." He shrugs, hands ghosting over my body. "Do you know why you're here?"

"To finish the serum."

"And?"

"To prevent Bo from intervening."

"No! No, no Love. You're here to assure that she does get involved. See the sooner she gets here the sooner Syra kills her and the sooner we can all move on." He leans further, lips just barely an inch from mine as his cold eyes stare into my own. "You've always done what's right in the past Lauren, can we count on you now?" He smiles at me and from where I find the strength I don't know, but slam my forehead as hard as I possibly can into his nose sending him stumbling backward. "I guess not." He laughs, genuinely amused as he spits out some blood.

* * *

.

This time when my eyes open it's a normal darkness, the darkness of night. Rain pours down but the moonlight and several streetlights bring a strange sense of comfort. The street is desolate, it's only me now…and this entity that I feel lurking. It's been with me since the beginning…I don't really remember the beginning now…it's all starting to fade but I know it's familiar.

It's him…?

Him…who?

' _This is where it will all begin.'_

"Where what will?" I spin around, searching for the low ambiguous voice.

' _Everything.'_

My eyes search for a street sign, but come up empty. "Where is here?"

' _The beginning and the end to everything.'_

"Are you him?"

' _Him who?'_

"I…I don't know…"

' _Remember this place and you can change it.'_

"It's a street…" Running my hands through my hair, anger beginning to form over fear and confusion. I begin to remember…things. This isn't real. None of this is real.

' _Every tale has a beginning, yours began here.'_

"Thought you said it will begin?" Laughing to myself at the ridiculousness of it all, I begin walking straight ahead, eventually I have to run into something or the next portion of this hell or maybe even wake up.

' _You have many beginnings and many ends._

 _Another is approaching._

 _Avoid this place and change your path.'_

Come on Bo…you have to have realized I'm missing by now.

' _Is she really on your mind or is she the only response you know._

 _After all it wouldn't be appropriate to call for Sasha.'_

"Great. You can read minds too."

' _Do you run to church, look up to the cross because you feel it will help?_

 _Or do you do it because that's what you were taught to?'_

"I-I don't know what you're asking me." I come to a stop, confused by the question.

' _In the depth of your mind you were thinking of praying._

 _I can feel it. The lingering traces of faith you can't quite shake.'_

"Bo is coming for me. She will come for me because she always does." Pointlessly I argue with the voice. Pace quickening only to find my knees locking as I realize I've actually gone nowhere. The street remains the same. "Bo will come for me."

' _Eventually you will learn to save yourself.'_

Emerging from the alley between two of the buildings a dark figure and I want to laugh about how cliché it is. A perfect entrance from one of Bo and Kezni's stupid movies, but all I feel is frightened. A different type of frightened than what I had been accustom to tonight. From the darkness a woman approaches. She's my height, without her heels. She's my build, with a little more muscle. Her hair the color of mine, only a little darker and shorter, a little more styled. Her features like mine, only a little more defined in every way a little more…more.

She's me.

' _Remember this place Lauren._

 _Remember this place well.'_

 _._

* * *

"Bo!"

The sound of her name jolts me awake, a moment needed to realize it's actually the sound of my own voice that's woke me. Heart racing, nothing short of agony ripping through every millimeter of my mind as sweat laces my body, but my mind is clearer this time. He takes a step back, somewhat surprised. His head tilts and his eyes narrow as his lips curve into this sickening smirk. Sweat dripping from his forehead and it takes another moment, but I realize he's had a difficult time doing…whatever it was he's doing.

"You're stronger than I gave you credit for." He laughs, shaking his head as his hair falls into his face. "This is getting seriously fun." Stepping back into me, his hands on either side of my face as his eyes lock with my own and that horribly familiar feeling of terror begins to creep in.

Bo…please…hurry.


	11. C10: Worth It

' _So long as she's okay…it's worth it…'_

My knees shake, but I manage to stay still. Raw hands gripping the sides of the freezing sink. Water mixing with blood as it drips down my face, circling the drain. Staring into the mirror, the unusual darkness in my eyes luring me in and for a brief moment I see flickers of a flame almost the same way the fire from the Dal had lured me in. So many images from tonight running together like smeared watercolors.

I can't remember the last time we suffered a loss like this…I don't think it's happened actually. We've lost but not with such an ease. Though I guess we didn't really lose. We made it out, mostly. We're okay, mostly. We're alive, mostly. We're gonna bounce back, mostly.

Lots of mostly.

' _So long as she's okay…it's worth it…'_

A cut along my jaw and another on my temple. Left cheekbone bruised running into my jawbone and ear, a slight ring still echoing. My breathing still as heavy as it was when we ran and even as I splash another wave of water on my face it does nothing to steady my breathing. My blood and that cowboy's blood finally washing away, mostly.

I should have brought Hale and Vex, it would have made a difference. I have to start thinking smarter. I have to start thinking. Irritation with the situation, with myself bubbling over as I rip the towel off the hanger, drying my face. Tossing the towel to the floor, I make quick work of a presentable ponytail.

Glancing back up into the mirror for a split second I see her. I see Sasha, face bloodied like her body. She gives me the nod, the 'go head' nod as she says those words. _'So long as she's okay…it's worth it…'_ Like she really cares…cared. Like she has…had a right to care.

Shaking off my irritation I make it to the doorway. Dyson in the chair in the corner, arms folded as he watches everything from afar. Kenz standing over Lauren, wrapping her broken wrist back up. The damage to her face from Sasha nearly gone now, oddly but the rest of her a whole different story. They bottoms of her feet red and swollen, dozens of little cuts all over them. The skin on her wrists and ankles worn and tender covered in bruises and cuts. Her arms and legs almost the same. Her mangled shirt long gone, exposing her equally mangled torso. Several strips of gauze laid atop cuts, Kenz solution to not wanting to move her too much.

"I've done what I can babes, but I'm not a doctor." She sighs, carefully setting Lauren's hand back down on my bed. "I don't…she might need a hospital."

"Out of the question. We take her to the hospital and word will spread fast. Fae are everywhere. We don't even know who Syra has under her at this point."

"Dyson." I snap. "If it comes to it, if she needs a hospital then she will go to a hospital."

"Bo, I understand this is difficult but…"

"You understand nothing. You don't know what I'm feeling. What I'm going through."

"Bo."

"Do you see her? Do you?"

"Of course I see her."

"This is the second time in a few days she's fighting for her life for this bullshit of yours. Look at her!" I demand, reaching out and grabbing his face, forcing him to look at her. "Look at her!"

"Bo." Kenz lets out, stepping in between us. "Take a second." Her hand gently wraps around my forearm, guiding it down.

"I was supposed to protect her."

"We got her back."

"I was supposed to keep her safe dammit. I failed…I failed again." My voice breaking, tears filling in the corner of my eyes as she pulls me into a hug. "She could die Kenz."

"She's strong. She's tough. She will pull through."

"I can't lose her Kenz. I can't." My words trailing, as I pull back and wipe the tears away. "I can't." My eyes move passed her, noticing Dyson had vanished.

"Go, take a min. Get some air."

"Kenz…"

"I promise, you won't." She nods, a polite way of telling me to screw off for a few. I nod myself, making it into the hallway before the guilt catches up. Turning around I find myself stopping short, Kenz gently stroking Lauren's hair as she takes a seat beside her. "Look, we've had our difference…a lot of them, but I'd really appreciate if you didn't make me a liar on this. Please."

I don't know why, not really but I feel tears start to build and I have to turn around, taking a step to the right to lean against the wall. Maybe it's the sight of Lauren like this. Maybe it's the sight of Kenz being so gentle with her…that makes me know this is serious. Maybe it's the way I snapped at Dyson. Maybe it's the fact that I know I messed up big time.

Maybe it's all of it.

After several minutes, I start to head downstairs only to reroute myself up to the roof figuring that's where I'd find him. What better place to brood? Climbing up the dinky steps I find myself regretting it and remembering exactly why I don't come up here more often. Journey coming to an end as I find what I expected, Dyson stoic as ever looking out at something.

Anger toward him slipping away the longer I stand here, at least until he turns to look at me. "Did she wake?"

"No."

"Shame."

"Yeah." I snort. "Real shame Dyson, Jesus, could you must a little more feeling?"

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Of course." Shaking my head, hand still gripping the door. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you pretend to care?"

"I didn't pretend."

"No? Don't like the word? Is lie better for you? What about betray or backstab?"

"That's enough Bo. I did what I had to do and so did she. She knew what she was risking. She's a big girl."

"You should have protected her."

"It's not my job to protect her."

No, it's mine. "She's not made for this. She's not…" I find myself stopping, sudden rush of pain ripping through my stomach. "She's…"

"You're hurt?" His tone soft now as he rushes to me, his hand cupping my cheek. "Enough of this Bo. You need to feed."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Why?" He demands.

"Because it's nothing." I lie. "I'm fine. I'll be fine." I lie again, taking a step back only to have his hands grab my shoulders. "Please Dyson…don't…"

"You need to heal…"

* * *

 **.**

 **12:18 p.m.**

 **.**

' _So long as she's okay…it's worth it…'_

' _You need to heal…'_

' _Whatever happens…we're in this together…'_

' _So long as she's okay…it's worth it…'_

Voices run together, head pounding as I make it back to my room, pushing the slightly open door in further only to find myself stopping short. There in all her bloody glory Sasha stands by the open window, shirtless for some reason.

"By all means, come in and bloody my floor." Snorting, I close the door behind myself, before tossing Dyson's gently used towel from the chair at her. "Thought you were dead."

"Yeah, look at you all choked up about it too." She smirks, eyes narrowing as she wipes he face with the towel. "This smells like dog."

"Best I can do."

"Seriously, wet dog." She tosses it at my feet and I almost laugh. "Besides, if I could do it myself I wouldn't be here."

At first I don't really get it until she turns her back to me, taking a seat on the edge of the bed being extremely careful not to disturb Lauren. So sweet how suddenly considerate she is. "For someone who looks like hell, I'd think you'd be a little more happy to be…" I trail off, not really sure what to call this. Temporary home? Prison? Weigh station?

"Are you going to help me before I bleed to death on your overpriced sheets or do you plan to use them to wrap my body in them?"

"Not a bad idea." Smirk at the idea fading as I go closer, the skin on her back raw like Lauren's feet. Sighing, I take a careful seat myself before grabbing the bottle of alcohol Kenz had left on the bed. "These are…" As gently as I can I rub the alcohol over her back, each touch causing her to flinch. "…how did you get these?"

"Speaking of injuries, what happened to yours?"

"Mind your business." I snap, grabbing the towel from the floor before dabbing some of the blood away.

"You know she could die right?"

"I'm very well aware of that."

"She deserves more than this."

"Than what?"

"Than someone who can't even keep their lips to themselves while she's fighting for her life."

"Like someone who beats the shit out of her?" Anger getting the better of me, I throw the towel at her back as I stand. "You can get the hell out now." Moving around the bed, I carefully slide next to Lauren, back against the headboard.

"You shouldn't speak on matter you know nothing of."

"Lemme guess, she wanted it? No, no…she begged for it? Wait no, it wasn't what it looked like, it was really just fun?"

"Bo…" The faint, strained sound of Lauren's voice cause us both to jump. Looking down, heart racing I expect to find her eyes staring into mine but I don't. They're still closed, her features tense now as she slowly becomes restless.

"Please, go." I let out, focus solely on Lauren now as I begin to stroke her hair.

"I'm fine, thanks." She snaps, moving to the chair.

"Whatever." I let out, snuggling up next to Lauren the best I possibly can.

* * *

…

61 Days Ago

…

"I don't think…" Whatever my thought was completely vanishing as I stop in the doorway between my bedroom and the bathroom. There sprawled out in the chaos of our night of passion perfectly, I can't help the way my breath hitches. I can't even help the way my mind runs off.

My body rushing alive again. Everything in this room suddenly driving me insane. The smell of her lingering. The smell of us lingering. Her body, the perfect sight in front of me. The taste of her still fresh on my lips. All of this pulling my memory towards flashes of earlier. Lauren's newfound aggressiveness that was…orgasmic all on it's own.

But there's a part of me screaming to remember. Remember she's human. Remember we've been at this for hours. Remember she'd at the point of exhaustion. Remember that she isn't a succubus. Remember she isn't a Fae. Remember she can't keep this up. Remember you care and understand.

"That was…you were…" She trails off through a smiling yawn as I climb back into bed.

"Amazing?" I almost whimper as she touches my thigh innocently. A struggle beginning just to keep my eyes from transitioning. "Epic."

"Mm-hm." She scoots closer, eyes starting to close as she lets out another yawn. "Epic sums it up."

"Agreed." I nod, trying not to look at her body. One…two…three…not helping…four…five…cold shower…six…seven…eight…very cold…nine…ten. The sound of my phone vibrating across the top of the nightstand causes me to jump. Quickly reaching behind myself, I scoop up the phone. Two text Dyson. Four text Kenz. One text Hale. Popular girl tonight.

"Something wrong?"

"N-no. Not wrong…but I have to go. Kenz…case business you know." I trail off, nearly jumping from the bed. Turning my back to her as I scoop up my clothes, starting to feel my eyes transitioning. "Something wrong?" I ask after a minute of silence, taking a seat on the bed as I slip into my boots.

"No. Nothing. I just assumed you'd be staying."

"Yeah?"

"You know, kisses and snuggling and sleep…also kind of your bed."

"I know. I wish I could. Really…I really do." My eyes lingering on her thighs, innocent words of agreement becoming something…not so innocent. "I'm sorry. But please, stay. You know you're always welcomed."

"It's okay Bo. Go save the day."

…

* * *

I find myself shifting uncomfortably for a number of reasons. The memory itself bringing back an array of emotions. The most an inconvenient and currently inappropriate rush of heat between my thighs. The second a wave of shame at my lack of control then…and even now. And then of course the actual discomfort of the position I've found myself pretzel in to.

* * *

…

17 Days Ago

…

Good, no one here yet.

Smiling to myself I speed through the Dal, needing a strong drink after my morning. Smile only widening as I see Lauren…and Hale sitting at the bar. Pace slowing as I notice this saddened look on her face. Eyes narrowing curiously as I realize his hand is resting on the small of her back. My territory buddy.

"Relax girl. Dyson just doesn't like people who challenge him, especially when it comes to the heart. Makes him uneasy and all wobbly in the legs."

"Yes, of course." She shakes her head, taking a drink form her bottle.

"Look, Bo's the type of girl that doesn't realize what she's doing."

"Yes, of course." She repeats herself, Hale's hand still not moving.

"She's also the type of girl that doesn't realize what she has right in front of her."

"I…I don't get what she she's in him."

"He's the alpha male. He's a wolf, noble, attractive guy…stuff…you know." He laughs as she turns her head toward him. "What? I'm not a girl, I don't know what to say here. Honestly, he's the opposite of you."

"Thank you?"

"C'mon girl, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"Hale…Trick is a business guy, with a slight dislike of humans. Dyson and Kenzi and I don't really get along, so what I am trying to say rather clumsily is that you're the closest thing I have to a friend. So if I ask you something, you'll tell me the truth?"

"Sure." Thank you for removing your hand finally.

"D-do you think I'm being stupid?"

"On one hand, Bo doesn't waste time on anything she isn't serious about when it comes to matters of the heart. I've seen her look at you and there's times when I think 'Damn, I want someone to look at me like that'…"

"But?"

"But, you're human and apart from that, you don't have anything in common. Sometimes opposites attract and sometimes…"

"They're just opposite."

* * *

…

The howling of the wind brings me from my memory. Body freezing as I look to the window, heart pounding as I half expect to find Syra standing there. But there's nothing and nothing comes. After several minutes I tear my eyes away, stopping on the sleeping woman bleeding all over my chair before my attention returns to Lauren. Funny how my attention always winds back on her.

* * *

…

89 Days Ago

…

"About earlier…" I start, my words a whisper as I stare at her. "I…"

"It's fine. I hope you and him are very happy together." She snaps, her attention turning to the car passing us by, but I can't manage to tear my eyes from her.

"Lauren…it wasn't…I didn't…"

"You said nothing." Her eyes meeting mine. "You stood there and said nothing…again."

"I could have handled it better."

"Right now Bo, who is more important? Me or him?"

…

* * *

My eyes open to the faint sound of the floor creaking. The fourth floorboard from the door to be exact, the only one that does it. Sasha quietly makes her exit, not even bothering to look back to see if she's woken me. Sighing in irritation I glance down at Lauren who is still tense, but a lot calmer now.

Leaning down, gently I place a soft kiss to the side of her head careful to find somewhere without any injury. My lips lingering, small smile curving my lips at her welcoming smell. It's faded now, barely there but I could recognize it anywhere. It's the smell left on every inch of my favorite pillow. It's the smell I miss when it's faded away. It's the smell that can make me at ease with the faintest trace. It's home.

Carefully pulling back, my eyes running over her face as my smile fades. "It's always you. Always." With a sigh I force myself from the bed, sneaking down the stairs wanting to find where that little…woman has snuck off to.

"Come on now, they can't keep taking in strays. Where am I going to sleep?" Vex complains from the couch, watching a still shirtless Sasha rummage through the fridge.

"Shut up underling."

"You are a guest in my house, manners would be appreciated."

She laughs. "It's not your house." Attention shifting to the cabinets.

"Those are my Fruity Pebbles."

"Fruity…" She smirks, looking at the box in her hand. "Should'a figured."

"No fighting with the house pet." Making myself known, I find my way to the couch. "Where's Dyson?"

"Can't keep your mind off of him?"

"Your love muffin and the Blood Midget went running off somewhere." Vex answers, glaring at Sasha as she unapologetically eats his cereal. "I thought you died." His glare turns to me. "I thought you said she died."

"Thought so…unfortunately not." I almost laugh at her glare. "I meant apparently."

"And you're supposed to be the good guys? Really?" She laughs, leaning against the counter, tossing the empty box onto the counter.

"Bitch!"

"Same to you fuzzy ass."

"Do you two need a room?" I ask, looking between the two.

"Never. I prefer mine with an ass, boobs, usually blonde and doesn't have more hair than a cheea-pet."

"Men have hair baby and I am the definition of a man." He continues on, running his hands over his chest, sticking his tongue out at her. I forgot how gross he could get.

"I…I'm going to go back to Lauren." Shaking my head at the pair, I stand up.

"I can't promise you she'll be alive when you get back."

"What are you going to do, disgust me to death?"

"Arrrrrg!"

"Children." I mumble to myself, making my way back to the stairs.


	12. C11: Big Little Lies

**.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

Warmth coating my face gently pulls me toward consciousness, unfortunately with every passing moment I become slightly more aware of the pain crippling me. My chest heavy and burning, each breath a struggle. Most have a broken rib or two, would explain the pain and labored breaths. All of my fingers and toes wiggle, but my left hand can barely move without an excruciating rush of pain shooting up through the entirety of my arm.

Self-assessment coming to an abrupt halt as several of the days' events come playing back. Heartrate beginning to speed up as my eyes shoot open. Memories of…nightmares coming back to me or rather the feeling of pure fear in which encompassed them returns. Without regard for self-preservation I bolt upright, nearly screaming out in pain. My jaw clenching keeping my whimper from becoming a scream.

Subsiding pain allowing me to gain my bearings as the voices from downstairs begin to come into focus, mostly. I can hear Bo, her distinct tone. I can hear Sasha, interestingly enough. There's a male voice, I can't quite tell. Hale? Dyson? Trick? I suppose it doesn't really matter at this point. I'm sure it's Dyson, it's always Dyson.

Displeasure at the mere thought of him giving me enough of a push to cautiously attempt moving. This time rather than an abrupt movement I slowly bring one leg over the edge of the mattress and then the next. My once calming heartbeat picking up again as the pain begins to demand my attention. A bellowing laugh from the unidentified male gives me another rush of anger, enough to stand. Honestly, it could very well be Hale, but the thought of it being Dyson gives me enough anger to keep pushing through the pain and I suppose I need that at the moment.

Hesitant steps bring me to the window, the breeze chilling my skin as the warm sun comforts me, goosebumps rising over my skin, but they're of little consequence now. A faint reflection of myself in the glass causing my breath to hitch. "What has become of you?" Whispered words lost in the silence. Apprehensive fingertips find themselves pressed to the glass at the edge of my outline.

Every passing moment I stare at the mediocre reflection of myself I find myself taunted by these flashes. Flashes of Sasha on top of me. Flashes of Bo and Dyson. Flashes of Syra. Flashes of those indescribably horrifying nightmares Lyrkris had subjected me to. Perhaps what hurts the most though are the flashes of the woman I used to be.

Tears fill my eyes, I watch it happen in the reflection as I see these images and it's all very surreal. These images playing out almost on a sheer screen, just vivid enough that the picture is clear but still diaphanous enough to witness my demise through them. How poetic that even my suffering wouldn't be simple, but rather unusually complex.

"Don't touch me!" I find myself screaming without warning, as I jerk back while spinning around. My shoulder slamming into the glass. "Don't."

"It's just me." Bo whispers, hands raised as she stares as me with this shocked pity.

"Don't touch me." Repeat myself in a whisper, my eyes dart over her looking for an explanation to a question I haven't yet posed.

"Okay." She nods. "Okay. No touching." Her hands falling to her sides as she takes a tiny step toward me. "Ar-are you…I just want to help you."

"I don't need you."

"O-okay."

"I…I don't need you." I find myself repeating the words I still haven't figured out why I spoke in the first place. "I don't." Remaining silent she just nods, eyes narrow as she reaches for me. I go to take a step back only to be reminded I'm trapped between her and the window. "Don't." I snap as she starts to pull me into her. "I hate you! Let me go!" Struggling against her embrace, words escape me I have no control over. "For once just listen to me and go!"

Tears stream down my face as pain rips through my body, a lack of control becoming more and more evident yet I can't seem to stop myself. The tighter she holds me, the more I see…her with him. The more I hear that laugh from downstairs that I had deemed his. The tighter she holds me, weathering the storm that is my breakdown the more I remember all the times she left me alone.

Anger and pain mixing together to create a dangerous combination as I seemingly have no control. With a strength I was unaware I possessed, I push out against her, something which sends her onto the floor landing on her ass. For a second we're both silent, only the sound of my sniffle as I stare down at her in utter shock and concern and she stares right back up at me with the same intensity. I go to ask if she's okay, but as the shock starts to pass she seems almost amused at the situation.

"Get out!"

"No."

"Get out Bo!"

"No."

"Leave me alone!"

"No." She says simply, bringing herself to her feet.

"I said leave dammit."

"I said no." She takes a breath and a single step toward me. "I didn't leave when you slept with me for the Ash. I didn't leave when you were a fugitive from the Fae. I didn't leave when everything from Nadia happened. I didn't leave then and I'm not leaving now. No matter what, I'm going to stay right here."

"No you won't."

"Whether you want me or not Lauren, I'm here. Good, bad, happy or sad. The best of you or the very worst, I'm going to be right here. I'm here until the end. Girlfriend. Friend. Creepy stalker. I'm not going anywhere."

My hand reach our, pressing against her shoulders as she takes another step in. "No." Is all I can muster as she reaches up, hands gently holding my forearms. Her eyes peer into mine and for the first time I realize her eyes aren't narrow in anger or confusion, but rather in an attempt to keep her own tears from escaping. "No."

"I'm here Lauren, nothing is going to change that."

"You're lying." My words a broken whisper as she shakes her head.

Her hands move to my cheeks, thumbs gently brushing my tears from my cheeks. "I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry I failed you. I never…I never should have let you go."

"Why won't you leave?" I ask, instinctively leaning into her touch as my eyes flutter closed unable to deny the slight comfort her touch brings.

"I…I don't know." She speaks after several seconds of silence, her own words a broken whisper as she attempts to answer a question I don't believe either of us fully understand. "Come on." A gentle demand followed by an abrupt maneuver. She slides beside me, arm wrapping around my waist as she guides me toward the bathroom. "Careful." Attentively she guides me, kicking a discarded towel from my path.

Reaching the tub we come to a stop as she maneuvers herself back in front of me, this look of gentle pity in her eyes. Carefully she leans in, lips grazing my cheek as she reaches around me undoing my bra with one hand, the other presumably hitting the knob for the shower as I hear the water begin. I want to push her away, to run away but everything about her sooths me…to a degree. Slowly she brings herself to her knees, pulling my underwear with her.

My breath hitching as her hands come to rest on my hips, leaning in her lips graze my bellybutton, one of the very few unbruised places I have left. Her lips linger and I can't help contemplating what she's thinking. The question leading my mind far away from my pain…momentarily. My hands moving to her face, as she looks up at me.

"I love kissing you. I love touching you. I love tasting you. I love looking at you. I love your scent…both of them." She tearfully smirks, her thumbs brushing against my skin. "I love trying to figure you out. I love trying to make you laugh. I love trying to make you notice me…and keep your attention."

All I can manage is a whisper. "Wh-what?"

"You asked me why I don't leave." Blinking back tears, she looks away from me as she pulls another towel from the edge of tub. "I can give you a million sexual reasons why I don't." Bunching part of the towel up she dips it in the pooling water. She hesitates for a moment before bringing it to my skin, gently attempting to wipe the dried blood from my thigh. "I can give you a million…emotional reasons why I don't." Pausing, she looks up to meet my eyes once more. "I can't give you an answer because I don't have one…not one I can explain, but I can give you reasons. So many reasons."

Without another word, she looks away almost refusing to meet my gaze as she tentatively attends to each inch of skin. A task unquestionably proposing a considerable effort, but there's something in her touch that assures me she isn't going anywhere. Despite the pain, the discomfort, the agony…there's a sense of comfort and longing for every touch so I stand stoic, watching her every movement and wonder how I have become such a hospitable mess.

* * *

 **.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

'This is what you're reduced to…'

'We've lived a long time, seen many rise and fall. Heroes are not always knights in shining armor.'

'This is what you're definition of heroes are now?'

'I don't know my definition, I'm presuming they are. We know the prophecy of child. Perhaps it's true.'

'Perhaps you are as convoluted as your sister has assumed.'

Lauren's scent fills my nostrils before she's even made it halfway through the hall. I drop the spoon in my bowl, swallowing my last bite before looking up just in time to see her hesitate in the door-less doorway. She looks over them all bickering with this look of annoyance and I can't help smirking. Carefully she assess the situation, only a quick glance my way. On the one couch Bo to the far right, then Kenzi, then Hale followed by the most vocal of this little group, Vex. Her eyes move around the room searching for something, her heartrate slowing by a fraction as she doesn't find it.

"Maybe instead of childish bickering we should discuss the possibility of a plan." I venture, pulling the group's attention allowing her to slip into the chair undetected. "Or is this part of the routine?"

"Only card carrying members of the good guys club gets a vote in these matters." The little human snaps, spunky that one.

"Is there an application I can get?"

"Ha." Hale laughs, taking a drink of his beer.

"Oh, and what's the waiting period on those?"

"Enough of this." Bo huffs, this must be her attempt at taking charge.

Smirking to myself in amusement at her attempted display of assertion. My attention drifts back down to my cereal. My mind beginning to drift off into itself, annoying adversary taking refuge in the back of my mind beginning to whisper again. At least until I hear the subtle uneven beat of her heart. Beginning to pay a little more attention. Her aura is fluctuating, interesting. It's not quite the fluctuation of being aroused or even interested, but there's an inquisitiveness that isn't platonic.

Interesting to say the least. Lauren is a complex creature. Smirk turning to a smile I look up, careful not to look at her. My eye settle on Bo as she continues to drone on and I can't help but wonder if she notices it. Hell, I wonder if she can even pick up on the distinctions or are they all just numbers to her right now.

"Enjoying the view?" Kenzi whispers, pulling my attention and I can't quite place who the question is for.

"I'm sorry?" Lauren asks sheepishly, Bo elbowing her human in the side causing Hale to laugh uncontrollably. Innocence oozing off of them like a sickness.

The door creaks pulling everyone's attention, and like a sudden eclipse the entire room tenses. Dyson walks in unbeknownst of the affect his presence has. He smiles at Bo before looking at Lauren, and if that was her cue, she stands and walks back the way she came.

"I got this." I assure the child succubi, smirking just to piss her off.

* * *

 **.**

 **(LAUREN'S POV)**

 **.**

A knock comes, it's too heavy to be Bo's. Bo has a certain way about her, especially when she's concerned. My assumption confirmed less than a second later as the door opens and Sasha slips in. Carefully she closes the door behind herself as if she does it too hard it will break me. Ironic the things people think about and the things they don't.

Without a word she makes her way in, an equal distance from the door, the window and my position on the edge of the bed. I think it just works out that way, but there's an irony to it. Her eyes move over me briefly before falling to the floor. How unusual to see her almost docile. **Thud**. I jump and she almost does too. Something hitting the window. I don't move, just stare but she moves to the window, looking out carefully expecting something to come through.

Running my hand through my hair my eyes fall to the floor while I wait for this all to be over. Somewhere along the way my eyes find her feet, still bare and toenails painted black. Not exactly what one would expect from a badass…something. Slowly my eyes trail up along her calf to her thighs covered in black sweats that were more fashionable than practical. I'm more than sure they're Bo's, unfortunately as much as I hate to admit it, she fills them out a little better.

Shaking my head, unusual twinge of guilt at the thought followed by an irritation at the fact that I feel guilty. There's no denying she's beautiful, in the same natural way Bo is only there were times when Bo still tried unnecessarily too hard, but I've yet to see her. Glancing over her shoulder for a moment, she flashes a smile and it's genuine and almost sweet. Oddly enough it reminds me of the other night. It's funny how one thing can remind you of something entirely different.

"When I was in adolescence in the winter I would stand by the window, and stare through the crack in the wood out into the road. My hands pressed against the ledge until my skin would freeze."

"That's…"

"We all look for glimmers of freedom in our own way."

"Yes, I suppose we do."

"It's irony in it's purest form."

"What?"

"When the oppressed becomes the oppressor." With a subtle sigh, she turns to face me. "You're strength is remarkable."

"Thank you?"

"I...there's a point in time when you become as old as I have that you begin to forget things. The little things. You forget about the control of strength. You forget about the mental and physical delicacy of those…"

"Weaker than you?"

"No." She shakes her head, almost offended. "Younger."

"When you're…like me, there's a point where you change. Everything changes. Everything. You share your body, your mind…it's…it doesn't matter. If the child downstairs ever grows up, perhaps there will be a point in time when she has to bear this burden and then perhaps maybe you will have a sympathy for it."

"You want me to have sympathy for you…right now?"

"Not sympathy, not now…but an understanding." She sighs, tilting her head toward the door as if listening for something. "There is not an excuse in this world or the next that I can give you for what I have done. I long for you to understand, but I understand you cannot so all I can offer you is an apology."

"Don't be." I almost snap, looking down at her feet. "I knew what this was."

"You didn't deserve this." She falls silent and after a moment I look up to find her kneeling in front of me. "I am sorry Lauren." Another silence falls upon us once again, she looks around searching for something. My eyes narrowing, heartrate picking up as I see her pull a belt from underneath the bed. She smiles softly, folding it in half before placing it in my hand. "Retribution." She nods, starting to turn her back to me.

"Sasha."

"It's okay. It's the way of my people."

"I…" My hand wraps around the leather with such a grip that I'm sure I've somehow managed to cut through my own skin. I am far from proud of it, but for a brief moment I contemplate it. I see flashes of that night. Flashes of the emptiness in her eyes. Flashes of the fear I felt. Shaking my head more to myself than her I drop the belt to the floor and I can't help feeling as if I've disappointed her. "I won't."

She nods, with a sigh her hand cautiously comes to cup my cheek. "If I can't offer you retribution, then allow me to offer you relief." She leans in, but doesn't force anything. This time she's gentle and concerned. "I can take the pain away."

"Bo…"

"Is so wrapped up in her shifter that she doesn't know which way is up. The thought of healing you hasn't even crossed her mind." She leans back slightly. "Lauren, please. Allow me to help."

"W-why?" My voice breaks, humiliating me just a little further.

"I…" She stops to contemplate my question, but she can no more venture and answer than I can venture a reason I bothered to ask it.

* * *

 **.**

 **(SASHA'S POV)**

 **.**

"Problem?" I almost laugh, turning to face Bo as she continues passed me as if she didn't just attempt to body check me.

"No."

"Did your parents ever teach you manners then?"

"Stay away from her." She snaps at me, unable to keep that anger of hers from bubbling to the surface. "I don't care what you do. Stay here or don't. Play for team Good-Guys or don't. Hell, tie the pervert to the couch while you eat all of his cereal in front of him. I don't care, but stay away from her."

"I suggest you calm down child." I nod toward her bedroom door less than ten feet from us. "Doors aren't sound proof."

"I mean it Sasha. You may be the Ash out there and maybe that's why you think you're entitled to everything, but you're forgetting one little thing."

"That would be?"

She glances at her door, seemingly grasping the realization that Lauren might be able to hear us. She steps into me, voice lowering. "You have no authority over me."

"No, I don't. But you're forgetting one little thing."

"And that would be?"

"I have authority over Hale and your boyfriend. Oh and over Lauren as well."

"Don't threaten her."

"Everything alright, Bo?" Dyson ask from down the hall, but she keeps my gaze. "Bo."

"You really should try this thing call control." I smirk, taking a step back. "It would do wonders for you." Almost laughing I maneuver passed her and then him as he lets out an adorable little growl. Turning down the hall, I find myself stopping at the sound of his voice.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Bo." He takes six steps, must be in front of her now. "What was that?"

"I don't trust her, especially around Lauren. It has nothing to do with personal feelings."

"Sure."

"It doesn't. Did you forget just a couple of days ago she beat the shit out of her?"

"That can only be an excuse for so long."

"It's not an excuse. It happened." She snaps. "Not to mention I find it a little fishy all of a sudden she just decided to come help us."

' _So long as she doesn't trust us, none of them will.'_

'Not now.'

' _You know it's true.'_

* * *

 **.**

 **(Lauren's POV)**

 **.**

"Sorry." She sighs, looking up at me with puppy eyes and a pout as she attempts to clean the scrape on the side of my hand. "I should have let Kenz do this. She's better with the doctoring than I am."

"It's fine."

"I just wanted to make sure you're…"

"I am."

"I want to believe that, but it's been almost a day and…"

"And?"

"Lauren," Sighing, she shifts slightly attempting to remain balanced on the balls of feet as she crouches in front of me. "You come out of my room maybe five minutes at a time."

"I can leave."

"That wasn't my point." Annoyed, she drops the gauze onto the floor, her hands gently resting on my knees most likely for balance than affection. "I'm worried. We're worried."

"Who is we?"

"Everyone."

"I doubt that."

"Lauren…" She falls silent, my unintentional winces of pain pulling at her guilt. "I want to help."

"You are…horribly," I manage the smallest of laughs. "but still, you managed to clean two of seventy-nine wounds. By the time you finish it will be time to start back at the first."

"That's not what I mean."

"What do you mean?"

"I…I know I can…I have once before…kinda." Sighing once again, she looks away from me. "I'm terrified of trying and hurting you."

"Trying…?"

She turns her face to me once again, eyes meeting mine. "I'm more terrified of trying and failing."

"What are you…oh…" I nod, words a whisper now. "Bo, you don't have to. I understand…"

Before I can say anything else she's leaning up, lips on mine. At first the pain is excruciating as she pushes her weight down on my knees, but the feel of her lips numbs it. The taste of her mouth pulls my mind far from this place to the memory of…us. And then there's a rush, at first it's like an intense chill before an unbridled rush of heat. Goosebumps raise over my skin as an uncontrollable fire in the depth of my stomach begins to burn.

No longer is there any pain. No longer is there anything other than us in the moment.

And then it's over.

She pulls back, the faintest trace of tears in her eyes as she flashes a smile. "I did it." Her words a whisper, hands cupping my cheeks. "I don't really know how, but I did it."

"You did." I nod.

"What is it?"

"Nothing."

"No, what Lauren?" Concern takes over, I know it well. She's never more caring than when she's scared she's hurt me. "Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?"

"No." I shake my head. "At least not how…no."

"Lauren just tell me…"

"What if I told you that I would willingly, happily even walk out of this room and downstairs and tell her what you've been wanting me to?" I take her hands in mine, bringing them down from my face. "Tell her I'm yours and mean it." She gets this smile and I almost return it. "All you have to do is one thing."

"A-anything."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're over him."

"I," Her brow raises slightly, smile fading. "Lauren, I am. I am over him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She nods. "Definitely."

"Bo," Drawing in a deep breath, I try to push aside the rush of pain ripping through my heart. "You're still such a horrible liar."


End file.
